How do you keep the romance going?

hklinger · August 2011

I have been married now for a little over a year and I feel like we are like an old married couple! I know the feelings are there but I am not sure why feel like we have become routine. I feel like I am always trying to introduce date nights and stuff like that but my hubby is extremely financial conscious, doesn't want to be frivolous. We have had inexpensive dates which are nice, but I feel I need more! I think I miss the romance and the spontaneity that we had when we were dating. I know he has it in him and it is certainly in me since I am pretty much a girly girl and want that fairy book romance. I know that is not always realistic but I have this need for that. I feel like improving the romance dept has become one sided and I am trying to figure out if my hubby did all the nice stuff just to try to impress me when we were dating. I think he seems to feel that you can't get all the fun and excitement back because it was fun and exciting because we were doing everything for the first time together so ordinary tasks were exciting because we were doing for the first time together. That I get, but I am trying to figure out how we continue the romance in a new way now that we are married. I have come up with a few ideas but I feel like my biggest struggle is getting him to reciprocate.

theluckiest555 · August 2011

I'm kind of like your husband, I'm also very money conscious. You don't have to spend a lot of money to go on a romantic date, you just have to plan ahead a little. Instead of going to the movies at night, go to a matinee when it's less expensive. Have a brunch or lunch date instead of dinner, it will usually be less expensive. Look up a new recipe together, go to the grocery store, and cook together. Cuddle up on the couch watching one of your favorite movies. Make it a point to hold hands, kiss, and say "I love you." Send eachother flirty texts throughout the day, go on a roadtrip and find a cheap hotel. Also, have plenty of sex! Look up new positions together and talk about which ones you would like to try. Also, sign up for groupon and living social. You will get lots of cool coupons in the mail for fun things to do as a couple, like museums, deals on vacation packages, etc.

whineymom · August 2011

First, have you told him how you feel? Really sat him down and had a frank discussion so he knows it's seriously bothering you. Nobody can read each others minds. Sometimes we forget that simple fact. Just remember to start off with the good things he's doing before bringing up your complaints. Warm fuzzies before cold pricklies goes a long way. Also, my hubby and I text each other/e-mail all the time. (they can be loving,silly,funny,sexy messages) I think that keeps the romance alive. We picnic and so it's not one sided burden, we take turns planning them. Or if I make the food he picks the spot and packs it up. (or visa versa) For our 2 year anniversary that just passed, we made each other gifts. (my husband had just got laid off from work) It was fun and romantic! I made him a wedding album (he's been asking for the last 2 years when are we getting one) He made me a really cool recipe holder out of an old wine box. Then we went out to a nice dinner.

CiGiDancer · September 2011

Don't be confused about romance and newness. Newness with someone feels the way it feels because you are incredibly nervous. Hind sight is 20/20. You probably don't remember how awkward and gut wrenching all of your firsts were! As time goes on, romance does change because it becomes more intimate! And, in my experience, alcohol is a good friend of intimacy! You can have a date night in bed with two bottles of wine that you spent $16 on in total. Some cheese, some crackers, music, a romantic movie! Very cheap, very fun and VERY romantic!

KettyW · September 2011

My husband and I never "dated," so we never had that "fun and excitement because we were doing things for the first time together." Everything we did together before marriage was mostly just living and dealing with the stresses of life. My point is, since we never learned to have fun together, now that we have time to be together after marriage all we know how to do is stress and live life. To me that means that romance, whether before or after marriage has nothing to do with "newness." It takes work and effort and planning. If he did it before marriage, there is no reason things can't be the same now. Husbands need to realize that wives ALWAYS need to be pursued. They married us because they were making a commitment that we were the girls they wanted to pursue for the rest of their lives. It takes effort. It takes an adjustment of priorities. Maybe it happened to come easy for him before marriage, but it's time for him to rise to the challenge now.

Best wishes for you.

How do you keep the romance going?

Re: How do you keep the romance going?

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