Sex & Romance
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Where does he do it?
My SO is a tad strange in my opinion but, I see his logic. He has never came inside me. He is terrified that if he does I will get pregnant despite the fact I am on birth control. Now usually he pulls out and uses something to catch it but, since he got back from military training he wants to *** on me he thinks it's "HOT". I am ok with it I guess but is it normal? Where does your SO do it? How do I get him comfortable with cumming inside me?
Re: Where does he do it?
Most easily on your stomach or tits.
The Catholic church was onto something when they preached, always pull out.
I'm in the exact same position! My SO will NOT do it inside me and he did once and he was soooo paranoid and nervous until I got my period. It doesn't bother me, afterall, it is POSSIBLE to still get pregnant while on the pill. Anyways, he always will come on me. It's our normal routine and it turns both of us on! I think that it's a good thing that your guy is doing it... it might indicate that he is more comfortable and into you!
Stomach, chest, back (face is the one thing I don't like although I think he wants to...LOL)
If your guy is at all like mine, he won't be doing it inside you until you're married and ready for children! I just respect his feelings and as long as we're doing it and happy it doesn't bother me that it's not inside. You might "come" to like it ON you!
Maybe if you offer to use a condom he will be comfortable doing it inside you?
Did he have an uber religious upbringing?
Visit a sex therapist with him and get the fear of pregancy squared away -- do it now -- I am pretty sure you'll plan for kids in the future and this pesky little issue is sure to get in the way of TTC.
Remember: Sex, like money and religion, is one of the "biggies" that couples will vehemently argue over. GL.
He has never done it inside me I don't mind I just think its kinda odd. I have talked to my friends and they think its strange so I will never know what feels like till we get married. I think its hot and kinky I am trying to get him to be more adventures in the bedroom. His friends tell him to do some pretty wild and crazy thing some that just plan freak me out!
He said he doesn't want to till we are ready for kids which I am fine with that cause I love him with all my heart. When we first got together I was so afraid to have sex with out a condom. He then convinced me that it feels better without and has proved that many of times. He hates wearing them with a passion and I get UTI's really easy and the lube on condoms usually cause them which puts us in a rough spot.
He has done it on my stomach and breast and my back. I think it strange to do it on the face it kinda grosses me out and I take it as disrespect cause how it is portrayed in most pornos. I think I will try it or maybe have him do it in my mouth cause that has never been done either.
OP, if you're not using condoms, please tell me that you are on the pill or some other form of birth control and that you realize that pulling out is NOT effective BC.
To me its kind of the opposite. I find it more weird that with you on birth control, and no obvious issue with having him finish inside you, he wants to pull-out and finish on a rag. Don't get me wrong, I'm not criticizing, it just sounds like he has some obvious fear of children issues.
None-the-less, generally DH finishes in me, which we both prefer, but in the short transition between pregnancy and working on #2, he'll just pull out and finish on my tits, a**, chest, or in my mouth. Just generally depends on our moods and whether or not we're feeling kind of freaky. If you are on BC and he doesn't want to finish in you, I see nothing wrong with him pulling out and finishing on you. You might find after a while that its kind of a turn on. Good luck.
It's a fairly standard male fantasy to ejaculate onto a partner, he's totally normal in that regard. Many regard it as a submissive act to allow someone else to finish off on their face, chest, etc, (close your eyes - it's kinda salty and will burn.) and many find it a turn-on. Try it and see if you like it or not. Just have a towel handy.
If you want him to ejaculate inside of you, (which is also a perfectly normal, perfectly reasonable desire, BTW) and he's not comfortable with that, remember pre-come has plenty of sperm in it, and you're already accepting at least SOME risk of getting pregnant, even with perfect use of hormonal birth control. (It's practically infinitesimal though). If I can play amateur phycologist for a minute, he might even have a few intimacy issues - swapping fluids can be a terribly intimate thing for some guys. You might be able to help him over the hump with some dirty-talk: "I want to feel your hot *** shoot inside of me baby!" or whatever feels right.
The other option is to switch to a BJ when he's about to pop, however that can take a bit of coordination, but that'll just encourage you both to practice, right?
I'd say start compromising - he gets to ejaculate on your face half the time, and the other half he needs to do it inside of you.
Well, do you want him to come somewhere else? If so, ask! Is he really explicitly refusing to, or is it he doesn't understand what you really want?
Have you considered having your SO go to the doctor with you and have the doctor explain the effetiveness of birth control? That may make him more comfortable with the idea. I would also make sure that he is aware that it is possible to get pregnant, even if he pulls out.
If it is a big enough deal for you, you can always tell him that you aren't comfortable with him always pulling out and ask if you can use condoms some of the time so that he won't feel the need to.
stomach, breasts, back. He comes in me too, but we aren't ttc yet, and it's easier to clean up off my stomach then when the ejaculate leaks out.