August 2009 Weddings
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poll: relationship advice
while I was at work today me and my client got to talkin about our marriages. ( she is 90) and she was telling me about some of the advice her mom gave her when she got married. So I thought it would be fun to ask what was the worst advice you got?
1. when you first started dating
2. when and if you wanted to get engaged
3. about wedding planning
4. sex wise
5. to a happy marriage
Re: poll: relationship advice
I'll go first.
1. when I was in 7th or 8th grade and met the first guy I ever wanted to date I remeber being told by one of my older friends (I was 12 and she was 14) that guys liked girls who dressed in tight cloths and wore makeup. she also told me to let him always decide what we going to do.
I followed this advice and ended up in a relationship with a highly abusing person who was 4 yrs older then me. he also raped me and got me pregnant at 13.
2. when Josh and I were starting to get serious to where I could see myself getting married to each other I was talking to my mom and grandmother about how I wanted to get engaged to him when my Great Grandma piped up and said, "Well you don't want to get to pushy about it just show him what a great wife you would be. why don't you make him a great dinner."
3. the only real advice I remember getting that I found offincive was when my Aunt Bev told me that because I was not a virgin I really should not be wearing a white dress. She told me this at the wedding to infront of my new inlaws.
4. I was told that guys don't want girls who are to interested in sex so don't start anything.
5.My client told me the secret to a happy marriage is to always let your husband win the fight. she also told me to meet him at the door with a drink.
I tryed this last night, but as we don't have any hard liquor in the house and he doesn't like wine I met him at the door with a glass of pepsi with ice. I put on a cute little outfit too. Then I got to watch as my husband about peed himself laughing at me.
Wow. That's some seriously old school thinking.
Honestly, I can't remember the specifics of any terrible advice I got as a kid. I have a feeling that when I was in grade 9 and my friends turned to a life of drugs, crime and sex, I undoubtedly received some. I do remember one of them sucking a pacifier in the back of the classroom because she felt it was practice for oral sex. Ultimately, I was so uncomfortable with what they were doing though, that I chose to remove myself and not associate with them anymore. It meant I was super lonely and isolated for a while, but I think it was the best decision I've ever made.
Alyson & Phil | Planning Bio | Married Bio!
Dates & Quinces Blog
Agreed on the old school thinking. Yikes, I'd be infuriated.
I'm sure I've gotten plenty of bad advice, but not much of it sticks since I'm pretty good at ignoring it. My mom did once tell me to give Josh an ultimatum--marry me or we're done--when we'd been dating for several years. I just side-eyed her and told her we were happy where we were at that time. She's usually pretty forward-thinking, though, so that surprised me.
Wedding planning - MIL suggested putting the line "please no boxed gifts" on the invitation.
Marriage - not really advice but related. Just before the wedding I said in passing that I was really happy to marry V because he's my best friend. My dad said, "he's not supposed to be your friend, he's supposed to be your husband!" Umm OK.
Baby #2: Surprise BFP 9.19.12, EDD 5.24.13, natural m/c 10.19.13 at 9w
1. when you first started dating DH and I started dating in high school, and the advice didn't really come until a few months after we'd been together. I was told not to get too attached because high school romances never last. Hehehe
2. when and if you wanted to get engaged A friend told me I should set an ultimatum if he hadn't popped the question after our first year of college...because that's exactly how I wanted to get a proposal.
3. about wedding planning Not really relationship advice but my mother in law (who had originally agreed to split our reception costs three ways) suggested we be old school and my parents pay for all the wedding and her and FIL would pay for the honeymoon. Our honeymoon was super cheap AND we'd already paid for half of it anyway which she knew.
4. sex wise Try anal at least once because most guys are into it. Ow.
5. to a happy marriage Never go to bed angry. Everyone says it and I think it's some pretty bad advice. Sometimes sleep is exactly what I need so I can wake up rested and refreshed and not be so bitchy about a trivial argument.