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pet mommies - need advice
my cat bella with the heart problem has gotten really bad with her marking. it's turned our lives upside down and i just don't know how much more i can take. she is the one who could never be spayed because she can't go under anesthesia so she goes in and out of heat. because she is spraying to alert male kitties that she is ready to be mated, she isn't responsive to the normal treatments for litterbox issues.
i have been thinking i might have to euthanize her and it's been tearing me apart. but there's also a part of me that is very ashamed to think how relieved i would be as the stress has been a lot. the vet recommended i cage her at night and have her out when i can watch her. i bought the cage but haven't had the heart to put her in it since she just cries the few times i've tried.
so i got the idea that perhaps we should just spay her and hope for the best. my regular vet recommended it be done at the specialist's office and the specialist's office recommended VA Tech's school because they have board certified anethesioogists there.
i made the appointment for next Wednesday. i would take her down there (a 5 hour drive) and leave her. they would do the surgery the next day and i would pick her up a few days later. i have a call in to her cardiologist to see what he thinks. her records are also being sent ahead to VA Tech so they can see if it's even a viable option. my regular vet also said to be prepared that it may not stop the spraying as it's become a behavior now.
what do you think? is this the best course of action? i just can't live like this. but i love this kitty so much. i'm worried that if i do it and she doesn't make it i'll feel like i murdered her.
Re: pet mommies - need advice
That is a really tough decision. I know that this is very hard for you to think about that possibility but also know what it's like to have your animal tearing your house up. Now that I have a child it's becoming too much to deal with Parle and his sharades when he wants to play them.
I think I would just see what VA Tech says if it really is something that she can get through or not. You wouldn't want to spend that money plus driving if she'll pass.
If they think that isn't an option then I would do the boarding at night in the basement because you can't worry while you sleep about her spraying everywhere. The added stress of cleaning that all of the time and worrying what she's doing will take a toll on you. I know it has me.
It will be tough with her cries but she will get used to it...I know I keep comparing Ava to your cat haha but we've been crying it out and it's been tough but we know it's best for everyone and she's getting better with it. And I'm sure Bella will too if that's the only other option.
GL hun I know it's a tough decision.
ugh...we are dealing with a similar issue and it's really upsetting. our pup, riley, is almost 11 and he really is just a PITA anymore. i love him...don't get me wrong...but ever since Bennett came along, we've had issues. we ended up putting in new floors at the condo because his "accidents" got so bad. i cant ever let anyone else watch him at their house bc he marks (and he's fixed). he recently started marking here at the new house and we have carpet...and i feel like this place stinks! it's so upsetting...i can't afford to constnatly be having my carpets professionally cleaned and i don't know what to do. we take him out all the time...soemtimes he comes in after going #2 and does it AGAIN right inside. it's so spiteful...it reallysucks. i'm not sure what the solution is...a better home? i dont know.
you're a better person than me...you're gonig to great lengths to keep you kitty alive and find a solution. i commend you for that. but, do what's best for YOU. if it's stressful and it's goig to get better...then maybe euthanizing her is the best option. don't feel like you're a murderer...this is part of pet-ownership. i'm sorry
That's a really tough position to be in MD. I know you're trying to make the best decision. Is cost even a factor? I know you love your kitty but there does have to come a point where enough is enough. This is a lot of stress on you and I'm sure your kitty doesn't like all this struggle either.
I don't know what I would do.
What does your H think?
How old is Bella? It's possible that even if she does get successfully spayed, she'll still mark. Once a cat starts marking, even after altering them, they'll continue to spray. And she may continue to go into heat.
Have you tried locking her in the bathroom at night? I've had to do that with Pepper when he decides to run circles at 3am. If she marks in there, at east it's tile. And the door will muffle her crying.
Personally, I don't think you should euthnize a relatively healthy cat because she's doing what comes naturally. She can't just stop doing what nature tells her to. I know you'd feel terrible if she didn't make it through the surgery, but wouldn't you feel worse if you put her down? Why not see if someone is willing to adopt her?
That's a tough situation. I'd be concerned that 1. The surgery is going to be $$$$, 2. That she could die during the surgery, 3. That she makes it out of surgery you have spent $$$ and time on this and she still continues to mark.
I would try the crating before I would go surgery route. Honestly I probably wouldn't even go the surgery route. I say that as a biased pet parent though. I would do anything for Raven, but Puddin get the short end of the stick.
Thanks all. The surgery is actually relatively affordable because it's at a teaching hospital. They quoted me between $300 and $500.
I won't make any decision until I hear back from the cardiologist and the doctors at VA Tech. I may try the crating longer and in earnest.
City - Bella is 7. She is on 5 different heart pills so she's not healthy. That coupled with the marking does not make her a good candidate for adoption (this coming from someone who volunteered at my local shelter for years).
no worries. there's so much back story here i couldn't put it all in.