Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
are you "friends" with your BIL/SILs?
my SIL (h's sister) pretty much hates me. she doesn't express it out loud, but she's said things that are very obvious....we fake it pretty well with each other for everyones' sake...but everyone also knows that she hates me. i tolerate her, but am not a fan.
my brothers new little soon-to-be-wifey though....she'll call and talk to me on the phone....which i find very strange. i've only met her once..and we really don't have anything in common (other than now, pregnancy). it's only happened 3 times or so...twice since my BFP...once before.. but it's just weird. we have nothing to talk about......she also never calls from her own phone, she calls from my brothers phone (so i can't even avoid her if she tried to call!).
age might make a difference i'm guessing? h's sister is 2 years younger than me (and much much taller...i think she thinks she's older/smarter/wiser than me). brothers little wifey is 7 years younger than me.
just wondering what other people have relationship-wise with their sib-IL's.....
♥ bfp1 06/14/2011 ♥ edd 02/22/2012 ♥
♥ baby jennlin born on 02/15/2012 ♥
who says you can only wear your wedding dress once?
honeymoon bio ♥ married bio ♥ planning bio
jumped ship to the new and improved nest. back to TB for baby boards.
Re: are you "friends" with your BIL/SILs?
James has two sisters and has a weird relationship with them. They are opposite end of the spectrum from us when it comes to values and they are pushy about their beliefs. Well, it's more like they mock our beliefs, but they do it in a passive aggressive way (well, one of his sisters does this).
Anyway, I tried to establish a relationship with them and until recently I thought it was going well. Not "friends" necessarily, but definitely friendly. That is until we spent a few days together over the summer and I felt like they were being really disrespectful to us (me particularly). We haven't any contact with them since because James doesn't care to have any relationship with them at all, and I was trying to keep it together a bit (for Tillman's sake if nothing else).
TTC #2 for a million years: SA normal, CD 23 bloodwork shows nothing amiss, ovulation detected. Next step: ? maybe CD3 bloodwork to check eggs? All out of pocket, so limited IF tests/treatments.
DH is very close to his sister, since his mom passed away when he was 19 or so and his dad soon after moved out. I'm fairly close with her and wish she lived closer as I think she would be a good friend.
I'm not close to my brother so DH isn't really close to him.
No, but H's brothers and sister are a lot older than us and we don't have a lot in common. His 2 sisters don't live in the area, so I think I've only seen them a handful of times since we started dating. His 2 brothers live in the area, but they're usually so busy with their own families that it's hard to get together.
They're all really nice people and I really enjoy seeing them, but we aren't friends.
DH has 1 older sister (she's 5 years older than me, a little over 3 years older than DH). She lives on the East Coast so we don't see each other that often, but we get along well. I've met her a dozen or so times (usually for 2-5 days at a time, family related stuff). She was a BM in our wedding last May.
We don't talk on the phone, but she and DH talk once every month or so. None of us are big phone talkers though. I do keep in touch via FB, emails, and Gmail Chat.
ETA: We aren't close friends necessarily, but when talking to each other/with others we refer to each other as "sis" or "sister"
Photo courtesy of jennygg.com
My never updated Planning/Married Bio: http://mgoss228.weebly.com/
Seattle Knotties: Please page me if you send me a PM!
H is an only child so I can't relate on that side. Closest I can say is my sister's now-ex-husband. We used to be friends (FB, all chatty when I came over), but then he hacked her email and read some of the stuff I wrote her about him (he's a good dad when he WANTS to be, the key is it's not consistent, and he was a horrid husband) so he promptly stopped being friendly and didn't even bother to attempt cursory politeness.
My DH gets along fine with my sister and he and my brother get a long like gangbusters, to the point where they both wish they lived in the same city so they could hang out together more often. (Won't happen, as we like it here and my brother refuses to move to a state with sales tax as he thinks it's evil. Ridiculous.)
H has two brothers and I guess I would go so far as to say that we're friends. The youngest (who is actually my age) calls me somewhat frequently, but it's always about something. FAFSA's, job applications/resumes/cover letters, etc. Never just to chat.
Oldest (H is middle child) is an ex-Marine so he was never really around until we got engaged. He's nice but too intense for me to be around too often. We have an ongoing game of WWF with each other all the time and have a FB friendship.
H doesn't really have a friendship with my sister. But she has called him a few times when she needed something...like when she locked herself out of her car and I was at work. He also taught her how to drive a stick shift.
I'm pretty content with all of those relationships, I think.
2010: 41 books, 2011: 31 books, 2012: 100 books
Wow I am really surprised that more of you don't have good relationships with your SIL/BIL. I guess I'm not the norm like I thought I was, haha.
My brothers wife and I are pretty close. We hang out a few times a week, it probably helps that they are living at my parents right now. But even before that we always ended up hang out whether it's doing something fun or just running errands together. She is a few months younger then me which is nice and she gave me my beautiful niece
We didn't get along at first just because I felt like she was "stealing" my brother from us. But we're so past that now. I definitely consider her one of my best friends.
My husbands brother is a few years younger but we ran in the same crowd when we were young teens so we're close. Not as close as we use to be, but we hang out here and there.
DH is an only child, so I don't have any BIL/SIL in that aspect. I have 3 brothers, one of which is married. I would consider my SIL a friend. We used to be a lot closer than we are now, but we still do things together without my brother often.
My other two brothers have gf's. I'm really close with one my youngest brother's gf - she's like a little sister to me. She's 12 years younger than I am. My other brother I'm not really close to him, and I don't know his gf well at all. They also don't live in the area, so that kind of contributes to it. Though, I believe it's more my relationship with him (or lack thereof) that is the main reason.
All of DH's fam is on the east coast, so we rarely see each other. I think if we lived closer we'd be friends. I definitely get a long w/ his fam when we're visiting or they're visting. His younger brother is pretty shy, so I don't know him that well still. HIs sisters (different mother) aren't as close to him and one I've hardly met and have no relationship w/, the other is friendly but I hardly ever see her.
DH is friends w/ my brother and step-sister (my step-brother has MH issues, so they don't hang out but they get along fine).
Dh's brother and i get along fine (i would say we are both neutral about the other), but we have nothing in common and it is always awkward when we end up just the two of us. We never, ever call each other just to chat. A call to/from his cousins just to chat (or schedule HH, etc. with) is not uncommon, though...
My sisters' husbands are all different. I get along quite well with one of them, one i cannot stand, but will be civil with (or ignore, depending on his level of DB-ery on any given day), and one is fine (we have nothing in common and disagree about basically everything, but he's outgoing and has a good sense of humor).
Best sound ever: baby's heartbeat! (Heard @ 10w1d)
Planning Bio
Married Bio
Best sound ever: baby's heartbeat! (Heard @ 10w1d)