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I am mentally spent.
Cliff notes version.
Hebrew Baby naming took place Thurs (1st day of Rosh Hashanah).
FIL basically planned the whole thing. No one mentioned any of this to me. MH and I spoke very little about it (we've discussed that piece in and of itself). FIL goes ahead, calls Rabbi, calls my parents, H, it will be on x day.
EDIT: I knew it was Thurs, but had no input about it. I WANTED to do something at my house after but not during holidays... UGH. By the time I wanted to back out it was too late.
We go through it. I am pissed/hurt/etc I had no say in MY OWN DAUGHTERS NAMING. I proceed to send very politically correct email to them. They get pissed (Ils).
All day me= crying.
I finally talk to MIL and never once does she say she understands where I am coming from. I tell her I will not apologize for how I feel. She says stuff about how FIL is old, he prob won't be around for her Bat Mitzvah etc (he is 75, MIL is 59). Guilt not going to work on me. I say I can appreciate that and I would have honored ANYTHING he wanted to do IF HE CAME TO ME. So yeah.
The past 2 days have sucked ass and I need a drink but I am so fvcking exhausted....
FIL= selfish to me. Lesson learned. I AM TAKING CONTROL of my own daughters events. They *may* be granted a say in the future. I have final say. Enough. And I'm pissed at MH for other reasons, but those we'll work out. He needs to communicate better.
Head. Hurting.Where.Is.Vodka.
Re: I am mentally spent.
Oh, jeez, Jackie, I'm so sorry! Coming from a set of overbearing parents myself, I know how hard - but important - it is to make sure you've got control of your life and events. I'd be furious. And yeah, J needed to be talking to you about all this when his father was talking to him. And to tell his dad the date wouldn't work, or the way the event was being planned, or simply that you were out of the loop - he needed to say something.
Sorry. Just know you'll have a ton of events still that you can make all yours. Start with A's first birthday.
And heck, her first Chanukah is coming!
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Jackie, I'm so sorry they all did this to you. You certainly should have had a part in the naming of your own daughter.
I would plan a huge 1st birthday and not even tell then till the day before.
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That really stinks!! I find it kind of crazy that FIL did this. This is something that you typically would heard that a MIL would step too far into.
You have every right to be angry and upset. This is your baby and they are the grandparents. They should have asked permission to take this event over if they did want to do all the planning. FIL completely overstepped some boundaries. I just hope he didn't realize it and it was a mental block on his part.
Sending hugs your way.
I would be pissed at J too for not backing you up. I know they are his parents, but you are AVA's parents! And you SHOULD have a say in such important life events.
I hope you found that vodka and poured a big one!
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