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How to Find a Couples Counselor?

Does anyone have good advice for finding a couples counselor?  I've looked at our insurance and there are no licensed marriage & family counselors in our area and we live near a major city.  We're open to LSWs, counselors, psychologists, pastoral counseling, etc.  I'm planning on calling our local diocese to see if they have a suggested list and have thought about asking at my OB/GYN office.

Our insurance covers tons of various counselors in our area, but I'm at a loss as how to pick one.  I don't want to just choose randomly and end up with a counselor who primarily sees a different demographic (i.e. children rather than adults).


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Re: How to Find a Couples Counselor?

  • Do either of you have an EAP (employee assistance program) at your jobs? If so, I would call them and ask them for some recommendations.
  • If you have a ton of counselors through your insurance, pick a few that are geographically logical for you and give them a call. It's perfectly fine to "interview" them, either over the phone or in an initial (free? Sometimes) session. Make up a list of things you want to ask (who do they primarily work with?, if it's a couples therapist, do they do individual sessions for you and your husband in addition to couples sessions?, how religious or not religious are they?, etc) and just run them off one by one. Ideally you'll feel comfortable with the counselor at your initial session or during that "interview" and you can go from there.
  • If you do couples counseling AND individual counseling, it should be done by different therapists. You see one alone, you both see a second one, and SO sees a third one. Individual therapy is optional, do what you think is best and let SO do the same, meaning you might choose to see someone solo, but SO only does couples counseling.
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  • I got recs from the EAP program at work. I ended up going to someone through our crappy insurance company.
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  • What licenses/credentials are you seeing?

    Depending on where you live, there can be MFT, LCSW, LPCC, and Psychologists (PhD or PsyD).  They can all help with marital issues.  The #1 thing to do is to select some that are geographically convenient, then call them and "interview" -- as them questions about specialties, etc.

    I'd suggest a secular counselor and not pastoral counseling, especially depending on what your issues are.

  • Thanks for the advice, I'll take a look at my employer's EAP and then interview a few therapists.

    Looking at the list of therapists covered by our insurance I see a lot of Psychologists, LSW, LCSW, LPCC, but not MFT (which is what I was looking for originally). 


     

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