April 2010 Weddings
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Ok, be honest...
We all love our hubbies, but what do you fight about?? We don't really argue or bicker all that much, but there is one recurring theme about our big arguments. It's that we are always invited to parties and gatherings with family and friends, and he would like to decline them more often than not. He's happy to chill at home on the weekends and sees it as an inconvenience. I, on the other hand, grew up with a big family who was always together (unlike him) and I love getting together with people! Yeah, sometimes I'd rather spend a day on the couch, but come on, I'm not going to decline an invitation for no good reason.
What are your thoughts on this and what do you guys fight about OVER and OVER?
Re: Ok, be honest...
LOL - yeah we are total couch potatoes and love a good movie!
our usual fights are the "he said she said" variety. he'll claim to have told me something and i "won't remember" or it was never actually said, out loud, to me. i get the most annoyed though when he doesn't clean up after himself (dishes in the sink instead of the dishwasher or clothes on the floor - i'm type A and that sucks for him!) - sometimes this turns into a fight as well... oh and driving. i drive over 80 miles a day and he is like a grandma when i drive... "you're too close" "slow down" "put your phone down" - i'm like i'd hate to see you drive to work with me! hahaha
lol good post i'm interested to see the responses!
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Our families.
They are so different and they live so close together (within 5 miles of each other!) that's it's really hard to plan to spend time with just one of them. He's not really comfortable over at my parent's house and I'm not a huge fan of his sister who lives at home, so this is usually what we argue about. The current running argument is about Thanksgiving. We are spending the whole time with my family and the only place to sleep is a pull out couch or we bring our air mattress. Neither sounds very appealing at 23 weeks pregnant, so I suggested we could stay at his mom's so I could sleep in a real bed. He thinks that would look like we were just treating his mom's house like a hotel. I would hope that everyone would understand my need to comfortable. Besides, we spend way more time with his family than mine and I think his mom's house is boring. I can't ever get really comfortable over there.
We usually fight about the exact same stuff, too. I also want to spend a lot of time with my family, and they are all bunched together in Omaha, which is about three hours away. His family is really different than mine...neither of his uncles even sent a card for our wedding or acknowledged it or anything. It was really strange to me...
Also his laziness and not thinking about things at all! Like, he will make toast or something and have a butter knife that has some butter on it and will put it directly on the counter...I could scream! Or, when he comes home from work and changes out of his work clothes leaving them in the room right next to the laundry room...walk five frickin' steps!!!
We don't really "fight" about much of anything, more like I nag about him needing to clean up his crap on his desk (which is 3x more surface area than i have and it gets every inch covered with junk), or drinking too manyt beers (bc I'm concerned about his health and beer belly)
We both are homebodies, and when we do get invited out it's usually with his hockey buddies whom we both enjoy hanging out with. If he doesn't want to go I usually don't care.
I guess we're pretty compatible and know when to pick our battles, and how to make it not a fight but a problem solving activity.
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We get into some yelling matches at times....but it's always over and good before we go to bed. Usually it's b/c he is lazy....he doesn't clean up after himself (unless I nag) and then when he DOES do something (unload the dishwasher, vaccuum, etc) he'll throw it in my face if I'm sitting on the couch watching tv or something. It drives me nuts and I usually throw something back and it turns into an argument.
I love my husband, but.....sometimes he drives me nuts!! lol
Edit to add: I didn't mean we throw actual things....throw words lol.
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We don?t fight about it, but I tend to have to remind him that there are certain things we must discuss and agree on together before putting an offer on the table. Some examples are telling SD that she can have a friend spend the night more often than what should be allowable, or offering to hold a party for anyone other than the 3 of us at our house. Most recently he'd offered to have his nephew's bachelor party at our house without us talking about it first. I spoke up to him that I wasn't really on board with it, and he now knows that things like that are something that we need to discuss as a couple as well as joint homeowners.
The only time we actually fight fight is when he conveniently forgets (i.e. LIES) about something he's done. I can be a little (ok, a lot) naggy about him eating crap or drinking (like Lisa, mostly for health reasons) and I guess he got sick of me making him feel like a fatty so he started sneaking. I have been better about being understanding (taco bell is okay every now and then, right??) but he's still adjusting to the whole being forthcoming thing. Unfortunately for him, he sucks at sneaking around and lying so I always find out, and then we're in a fight - not because he bought some beef jerky and a beer when I was out of town, but because he tried to hide it. Ugh. We're working on it.
Otherwise I give him crap about always leaving lights on a leaving his dirty laundry everywhere BUT the laundry room but whatevs. Oh, and that one time he forgot to pay our car insurance was a real problem!
Well Shaun and I don't fight too much right now because he's got a lot on his plate so whatever he gets done around the house I'm impressed. But before he started school, I'd get angry with him that he didn't stick a load of laundry in, or didn't clean this or that. It was a pretty regular argument. But now that I'm pregnant, I don't do jack sh!t either. So I can't complain about him at all!
I also get mad at him about his hours at work. I know it's not his fault because the stupid company requires a ridiculous schedule. I'm hoping that will all change SOON!
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We actually don't fight often at all! The only times we spat at one another is when things are said in weird tones or we're both feeling testy etc. Things that drive me crazy about DH is when he doesn't empty the garbage or change the cat litter. The cat litter always falls on me...and I will drop little hints to clean the box etc and NOTHING. Finally Thursday I had to give it to him about the box...even though he's been AWESOME at doing most everything else since I am doing a 15 hour a week internship, working 40 hours a week, and taking two more grad classes on top of the internship! So...I love him very much for all of that...but I really was feeling so annoyed about the cat box since this is ongoing ever since we got the cat over two years ago. OY!
Hmmm... we don't really fight. I get "cranky" as DH puts it (I've been getting a bit more easily stressed out now that baby is here... sleep deprivation'll do ya). I think the major sticking point we have concerns when DH forgets to tell me about stuff, or remembers at the 11th hour, and that's usually right when I'm trying to go to bed and I'm deathly tired. I am the kind of person who gets progressively more brain dead as the day wears on, so by time I'm ready to shut down for the night, my brain turned to mush about an hour before. So the last thing I want to do is discuss stuff or process new information or whatnot.
We live in a space too small for the stuff we have, and DH gets frustrated by clutter moreso than I do. So sometimes he will get "cranky" and snippy when he can't tolerate the clutter anymore. I'm worse at putting stuff away than he is.
So I'd say we don't really ever fight about stuff, but things might get a bit heated when one or the other of us is tired, or frustrated. We tease each other a lot about the quirks that bug us about each other, but luckily we both try to be better about stuff so that we don't get on each other's nerves. But it sort of seems that 1) we are so similar and 2) have known each other for so long already (going on 10 years next May) that we can tell when to give each other some room.
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We don't "fight" in the respect that we don't have yelling matches with each other, and knowing both of our personalities, probably never will (we're both pretty passive aggressive).
But, the things we have issues around are social activities. I am more of a homebody and he takes part in a ton of social activities that I'm not part of - softball, bowling, etc. For example, the week before we had our NYC GTG, he had a concert one night, softball one night, his bowling league one night, and a Yankee game. Then I saw you guys Saturday night and had dinner with a couple other girlfriends Sunday night. So, we only saw each other one night that week - and I really think that's unacceptable and he should have skipped bowling or something. He has stepped the social activities up a notch since I got pregnant because he feels like it's his "last hurrah", especially since we're leaving Hoboken soon.
The times I get really angry with him is when he comes home much later than expected and I'm waiting for him for something. One night he had a softball game and said he'd be home in time for dinner, then walked in the house at 9:30. Another time he was going out for "one drink" and came staggering home at 1 am. That night I locked him out of the bedroom.
The worst thing that's happened recently was when I got the news about my sister. He knew that she was going to the doctor that day and that we'd find out what's going on, and he had tickets to the Yankees game. He tried to stick around until I got the phone call, but finally left for the game. Granted, I should have told him not to go, but I kind of wanted him to reach that conclusion on his own. When my mom called with the news I sent him a text to get somewhere quiet and call me ASAP (he was in a bar since the game was in rain delay). Half an hour later he still didn't call me so I literally sent him a text saying "my sister's dying, please call me". He did call a minute later as he was walking into the stadium. I told him the news, expecting that he would come right home - and he still went to the game. Meanwhile his best friend was staying with us and I broke down to him. DH did end up leaving the game after a couple innings, which he never does. I have a feeling that his BF sent him a text to tell him that I was really upset and he should come home, but I never asked and don't really want to know. He said later that he was absolutely stunned by the news (he thought she'd be okay) and just didn't know how to process it so it took him a little while to wrap his head around it. The whole thing did lead to some serious discussions between us.
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Jeff will wait until like 10 pm to tell me that he is out of work jeans or something like that...so I always have to go throw in a load for him. He can handle the dryer, but the new washer we have has a lot of options that you have to select, and I am sure he would screw something up. Drives me bonkers, too!
Great post! Glad I stopped in :-)
To echo some of the other ladies, we don't fight per se...more like strong disagreements (never with a raised voice, though...I'm not a yeller, and neither is he, but he knows that I simply can't tolerate being yelled at for any reason)...and then, mostly over these same issues:
1. When to make renovations to the interior of the house (kitchen, upstairs bath)/ and exterior (siding, front porch, deck)
I want to do these now, like yesterday, and he wants to wait and do them a project or two at a time. Thing is, my husband can wait for anything for a verrrrrry long time, where I am more of a "let's get it done now!" kind of person. I know his reasons may be sound, but I am just not a big fan of putting off for tomorrow what you can do today. I've even offered to pay for the bathroom renovation out of my own money, as it's a fairly small job, but he gets upset even at that. He wants it done on his time table, period. Yeah, well. That makes me mad sometimes, for sure :-)
2. A third dog.
He threatens to leave me if I bring another dog home...whatever.He fell in love with the first two, after throwing a hissy fit about me bringing each of them home also. Just picking my spot on this. There may be a fight to report if I find the right cute doggie!
3. His family.
It's official that his sisters and I have no love lost, and I'm over trying to make it better, as my efforts invariably end up being tossed back at me. He loves his sisters, says "that's just the way they are", and doesn't find it as big a deal. Well, after the fiasco which was last Christmas, I've vowed to stick to my guns and not go to his sister's holiday dinner. He knows that they are rudes b*tches, but loves them and so makes allowances for their poor behavior. I don't love them like that. So, there is a definite source of holiday friction there which is about to come to the surface again!
4. His driving.
He drives like a po-lice. Which is to say, way too fast. I call him "lead foot". So whenever we are in the car for extended periods and he's driving, yes, I'm nagging him to slow it down a bit. He thinks my Mom and I drive like the flintstones (with our feet)...hahaha..he's probably right on that, but still :-)
LOVE THIS GAME IN 3D! hahaha but DH not so much so I think he is on YOUR side on this one Danie! LMAO
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