Need to vent

dora12 · October 2011

So Saturday is our friends who we will call L and J wedding. DH and I are their MH and BM. When they asked us to be part of their wedding party we were more than excited, although I wondered why L didn't ask her sister and J didn't ask his brother. Oh and they have no other BM or GM.

Fast forward to last Friday, we all went out for dinner and a movie and she asked me if I could help her with some stuff on Saturday, the day of the wedding. I immediately said "yes of course, I am your MH afterall, I'm here to help with what I can." Well she then said "I need you to pick up the cake, the flowers for the church and reception and take all the center pieces to the hall."

I was speechless...I'm like okay and when am I suppose to get ready for the wedding. The ceremony is at 2pm. She also asked me if she could borrow our ring bearer pillow. I told her "I don't think you want to borrow it since it has our wedding colors and does are kind of personal items. I then offered her to make her one to match her wedding colors and she went on to give me a custom order on how she wanted it to look like. Yeah I only have one week to make it.

Am I being irrational? I don't know what to think.

Thank you for listening if you made it this far.

snoopy3319 · October 2011

It's odd that she doesn't want you to get ready with her on the day-of. Although, she might be assuming that you can do pickup and drop off before you'd need to get ready. I'm not sure what the time line for the day looks like.

With you being her only person in the bridal party, it doesn't seem that odd that she'd need your help with more stuff. You could see if your DH could grab a few of those chores to help you out, but that would depend on what his schedule is like for the day as well.

raynes · October 2011

Yeah, that seems rather last minute. I mean, we had people do most of those things for us, but it was my brothers (not in the WP) and one of our BM's H's. So, uh, have fun? Can you redelegate any of the tasks?

dora12 · October 2011

I'm not sure of the actual timeline for the day because she hasn't even given us an invitation for the wedding or other details. The only thing she told us was to show up for the ceremony @2pm and pickup all the flowers and cake @9am.

My main concern is how am I gonna get the 3 tier cake to the hall without any issues. I'm scared to drop it. Plus DH and I only own one vehicle and it's a car.

I guess I have to sit down with her and talk out the details.

Oh and I forgot to mention, she also wants DH to take her to the church for the ceremony.

LesPaul · October 2011

Well, I would be a little taken aback by her request, but I would also do what she's asking. Maybe she thought she would have more help, and now it's down to the wire and you're the only one she can turn to? There's probably more to the story that she hasn't shared - sounds like she needs you.

ring_pop · October 2011

Yikes! Those are big items and a lot of trouble to transport around... that's why they charge delivery fees for that stuff! Do you have a van or truck? We asked people to help out with stuff like this for our wedding and I've helped out in other people's weddings too, but never when I was in the WP.

I also find it odd that she wouldn't want you to hang out with her while getting ready, but I guess if that's what she wants, then she's missing out. Is it a small wedding? Maybe you could do your hair and makeup first thing in the morning, run the errands, then just get dressed and touch up your makeup.

As for the pillow... honestly just make it whatever way is easiest for you even if it doesn't have all of the details she asked for, then show up with it on the day of the wedding. She probably won't even notice, and besides, she'll be lucky to have one at all given how she left it to the last minute. (You have to admit that you kinda brought it upon yourself by offering to make it though Stick out tongue )

Hope it works out!

abarber340 · October 2011

I agree that this all seems very last minute with the wedding only a week away. I'm with raynes in that I asked people outside of the wedding party to help with most of these tasks. And I had our cake delivered by the baker because I know that I would be incredibly nervous driving around with a tiered cake in my car. Good luck!

ring_pop · October 2011

You can try to find out whether you'll need to transport the cake already assembled or whether they give you the tiers separately. At my BFF's wedding, the cake came in 3 separate boxes and it was assembled on site.

dora12 · October 2011

The pillow I have no problem with. I'm actually done with it! The thing is I thought I would be with her, helping her get ready.

Unfortunately I don't have a van or truck but J's brothers do. They both have large families that can help with those items.

Oh well I just hope she is happy with the result.

dora12 · October 2011

ring_pop:
You can try to find out whether you'll need to transport the cake already assembled or whether they give you the tiers separately. At my BFF's wedding, the cake came in 3 separate boxes and it was assembled on site.

Hmm..I hadn't thought about that. Maybe I can do that. Thanks!

eeeeva · October 2011

That's a lot of stuff to do in a short amount of time. Good luck. It does seem a little odd that she doesn't want to get ready with you but everyone's different.

starsailorr26 · October 2011

I don't think you're being irrational at all. She's asking a lot of you in a short period of time and it sucks that she's putting you in that position.

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