Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Cover Letter Help
Hey all, I am pasting a cover letter below. I already applied for the job and submitted this cover letter, but if I don't get it, I would love feedback about how to make a better cover letter in the future. The formatting is clearly more professional in Word, but the content is the same. I don't know if it's too braggy/too detailed, or not detailed enough... Thanks in advance!
Dear SCAN,
My entire life I have had a passion forhelping people, and my heart specifically gravitates toward children. With mycombined interest in your organization?s mission, and my unique set ofqualifications and experiences, I believe I am an ideal candidate for the childsexual abuse community educator position.
In addition to my professionalqualifications which include skills in management, organization,administration, writing and media, I have numerous volunteer experiences whichhave prepared me for this job. I was an intern at Women of Worth in 2008, aWisconsin organization committed to empowering women who experienced childhoodsexual abuse. I worked closely with the founder and director to developresources to aid in the sexual abuse healing process. Understanding thelifelong effects of this abuse makes me committed to help prevent further damagedlives.
As a volunteer for Big Brothers and BigSisters of America, and a director for AWANA Clubs International, I am familiarwith methods of sexual abuse prevention, as well as the unfortunate realitieswhen precautions are not implemented. I have personal experiences to back thestatistics I would be sharing with the community.
I was a competitor and coach for speechand debate, with national awards in persuasive speaking. At both my internshipsand previous jobs, I trained volunteers and new employees. I am an outgoing,motivated individual who works hard and loves being part of a likeminded team.I believe I would be a positive addition to your team and an ally in yourcause.
I look forward to the opportunity tointerview soon. Please contact me if you have any further questions, or if youwould like to see a list of references.
Sincerely,
Re: Cover Letter Help
I always was under the impression that the first paragraph should state the postion you were seeking, where you found it as the first sentence. I find your first sentence to me more like a college entry application letter. You also do not need to add that you will provide references, not in your CL and not in your resume. It is assumed that you will. It seems to me that you have a lot of run on sentences in the second paragraph.
You list a lot of personality traits. I think you might be able to get those across better through explaining what you have done instead of listing them.
Ditto BD. And to add:
1. Trim the middle part. It looks like you've listed a lot of what's on your resume, so what's the point of the resume at this juncture? Highlight, BRIEFLY, your skills and qualifications so they get snapshot. They can look at your resume for details.
2. I would not mention you have personal experiences to back up statistics. That sounds weird to me, and there's no follow up to indicate whether you've been sexually abused (ick, for a cover letter; if that's what you're talking about you have my sympathies) or whether you've just dealt with a lot of cases.
3. The closing paragraph is weak and gives no information. IMO it should be more along the lines of, "My resume is enclosed for your consideration. I can be reached at [phone] or [e-mail]. I look forward to hearing from you soon."
Our little Irish rose came to us on March 5, 2010
Don't drink the water.
Disclaimer: I am not an MD. Please don't PM me with pregnancy-related questions. Ask your doctor.
1: Alright, my resume mostly has professional jobs described, and my volunteer experiences are just listed in a bullet point, which is why I described them in my cover letter as they pertained directly to the position. Should my resume be specific about volunteer work as if it was employment?
2: I was not sexually abused, I see what you mean though... awkward and ambiguous wording.
3: How do I BRIEFLY highlight my experiences, and yet, give details to describe what sets me apart? Could you provide some example sentences from the material in the cover letter?
And also, you barely mention your professional qualifications. I'd bump that up at least a little.
Our little Irish rose came to us on March 5, 2010
Don't drink the water.
Disclaimer: I am not an MD. Please don't PM me with pregnancy-related questions. Ask your doctor.