Would this be a crappy Christmas present?

uwhuskygirl · October 2011

I'm thinking about asking H to take basic cooking classes for my Christmas present this year.

I don't need him to make gourmet meals or anything. I just want him to be able to fend for himself, and not going to Wendy's every night, while I'm gone.

I spent an hour and a half making him food to eat while I'm gone last night. He's totally fine reheating things, but when it comes to actually cooking it he claims he's clueless.

Is this a super crappy thing to ask him to do?

jennlin · October 2011

my h would resent me, but he'd do it if i asked.

uwhuskygirl · October 2011

jennlin:
my h would resent me, but he'd do it if i asked.

this is what I'm afraid of

amandasw · October 2011

I think it's kind of passive aggressive to say it's your Christmas present... because it really isn't, I mean, comeon!

I think it's more just one of those really horrible discussions that you have to have - tell him why it's important though. Money? Health? You want him to cook for you? I mean, you have to have a good reason, not just "I don't like it when you eat out because because... because." I totally agree with you though, I think it's silly that a grown man can't make himself at least one meal.

jennlin · October 2011

uwhuskygirl:
jennlin:
my h would resent me, but he'd do it if i asked.
this is what I'm afraid of

i think it would work better if you find a couples cooking class, and both go. my h would die (the more i think about it, the less i think he'd go) if it was by himself.

snowflake54 · October 2011

Has he expressed interest in cooking classes? Like actual interest, on his own, without a conversation inspired by you? If not - then it's not a good present.

If he has expressed interest -

My guess is that even with the cooking classes, he would still end up at Wendy's nearly as often because it is still easier, and its a habit. Would that bother you?

If so - I would reconsider because it's more like a Christmas present with strings attached. Like buying someone a gym membership because you think they should lose weight.

Just my two cents.

uwhuskygirl · October 2011

jennlin:
uwhuskygirl:
jennlin:
my h would resent me, but he'd do it if i asked.
this is what I'm afraid of
i think it would work better if you find a couples cooking class, and both go. my h would die (the more i think about it, the less i think he'd go) if it was by himself.

I've asked him a million and a half times to take one with me and it's always "um.. I guess" and then he quickly changes the subject hoping that I forget and I usually do.

mrandmrsbrist · October 2011

I think it's fine, but then again, I ask H to go to the gym with me for birthday presents, etc.

snowflake54 · October 2011

uwhuskygirl:
I've asked him a million and a half times to take one with me and it's always "um.. I guess" and then he quickly changes the subject hoping that I forget and I usually do.

um, yeah. This right here? This is why it's a crappy Christmas present. It's not something he wants.

uwhuskygirl · October 2011

amandasw:
I think it's kind of passive aggressive to say it's your Christmas present... because it really isn't, I mean, comeon!
I think it's more just one of those really horrible discussions that you have to have - tell him why it's important though. Money? Health? You want him to cook for you? I mean, you have to have a good reason, not just "I don't like it when you eat out because because... because." I totally agree with you though, I think it's silly that a grown man can't make himself at least one meal.

I'd have a really awesome Christmas and year if H could figure out how to cook for himself.

Ugh, I have talked to him about this. Maybe I just need to give up and realize that it is what it is and I'm just signed up for a life of cooking. Sad

I guess I'm just irritated because my parents are the same way. My dad's almost 60, totally capable, but can't cook for himself. If my mom doesn't cook for him he doesn't know what to do and eats cup of noodle.

Fvck. I married my father.

uwhuskygirl · October 2011

snowflake54:
uwhuskygirl:
I've asked him a million and a half times to take one with me and it's always "um.. I guess" and then he quickly changes the subject hoping that I forget and I usually do.
um, yeah. This right here? This is why it's a crappy Christmas present. It's not something he wants.

But it's my Christmas present. From him to me. Wink

niq24601 · October 2011

That's a little weird. If you got him Rachel Ray or Alton Brown DVDs or something, would he watch them?

amandasw · October 2011

snowflake54:
uwhuskygirl:
I've asked him a million and a half times to take one with me and it's always "um.. I guess" and then he quickly changes the subject hoping that I forget and I usually do.
um, yeah. This right here? This is why it's a crappy Christmas present. It's not something he wants.

the present was for her, not him

jennlin · October 2011

uwhuskygirl:
I guess I'm just irritated because my parents are the same way. My dad's almost 60, totally capable, but can't cook for himself. If my mom doesn't cook for him he doesn't know what to do and eats cup of noodle.

my dad's the same way. he eats frozen fish sticks, corn dogs, or pot stickers (whatever my mom gets for him from costco) when my mom isn't home.....or he goes to old country buffet. he at least knows how to use the tiny toaster oven. the microwave might be too much work for him.

snowflake54 · October 2011

uwhuskygirl:
snowflake54:
uwhuskygirl:
I've asked him a million and a half times to take one with me and it's always "um.. I guess" and then he quickly changes the subject hoping that I forget and I usually do.
um, yeah. This right here? This is why it's a crappy Christmas present. It's not something he wants.
But it's my Christmas present. From him to me.

Okay - now I LOVE it! If this is a present to you - then I am all on board with this and I actually think its a great idea, as long as it's presented to him that way. Yes

jennlin · October 2011

uw---CHECK YOUR WORK EMAIL!!!

jennlin · October 2011

jennlin:
uw---CHECK YOUR WORK EMAIL!!!

wait...are you at work? just realized you weren't online....i'll fwd it. nvm. carry on.

uwhuskygirl · October 2011

snowflake54:

Okay - now I LOVE it! If this is a present to you - then I am all on board with this and I actually think its a great idea, as long as it's presented to him that way.

Haha, yeah, this is 100% a present for me, not for him.

I'd probably have to find him a class to take, but if he can learn to cook even a few basic things then it would be one of those presents that keeps on giving to me. Not like herpes though. Herpes aren't a present I want.

uwhuskygirl · October 2011

jennlin:
jennlin:
uw---CHECK YOUR WORK EMAIL!!!
wait...are you at work? just realized you weren't online....i'll fwd it. nvm. carry on.

I'm flying right now. I can't get in to the network. It totally sucks, I actually need to work right now too. Crying

amandasw · October 2011

uwhuskygirl:
amandasw:
I think it's kind of passive aggressive to say it's your Christmas present... because it really isn't, I mean, comeon!
I think it's more just one of those really horrible discussions that you have to have - tell him why it's important though. Money? Health? You want him to cook for you? I mean, you have to have a good reason, not just "I don't like it when you eat out because because... because." I totally agree with you though, I think it's silly that a grown man can't make himself at least one meal.
I'd have a really awesome Christmas and year if H could figure out how to cook for himself.
Ugh, I have talked to him about this. Maybe I just need to give up and realize that it is what it is and I'm just signed up for a life of cooking.
I guess I'm just irritated because my parents are the same way. My dad's almost 60, totally capable, but can't cook for himself. If my mom doesn't cook for him he doesn't know what to do and eats cup of noodle.
Fvck. I married my father.

LOL

Well here are some options, do any of these describe your reason:

- it just bugs you, like throwing clothes on the floor (valid, but not helpful for a discussion)

- saving money

- it's not healthy to eat out etc

- it would be nice if once a week he could cook a meal for the two of you (this is the one I would go for. Does he think it's unreasonable for him to do at least a little cooking?)

jennlin · October 2011

uwhuskygirl:
I'm flying right now. I can't get in to the network. It totally sucks, I actually need to work right now too.

i fwd to your gmail.

snowflake54 · October 2011

Last year I took cooking classes... after I bought my house and realized how dumb it would be to have friends over and not be able to make them dinner.

I took the Basics of Cooking for Busy People at this place http://www.cooksworld.net/ and it was fantastic! Prior to that class I knew nothing about cooking and felt stupid in the kitchen. I cannot express how much I learned during that class, how helpful it was to me. I wasn't thrilled with the instructor's personality but she did teach a great class.

if that helps. It seriously changed my life.

(and I'm not associated with them what-so-ever, aside from taking their Basics series class, so this is just my Nestie review)

uwhuskygirl · October 2011

I give up. I'm just resigning to the fact that I have married my father:

me: For Christmas, would you take cooking classes for my present? all I want is for you to be able to fend for yourself while i'm gone

H: um, sure... I don't think it's the classes that are the problem

I just hate the time that it takes to cook

I can follow directions fine

me: for serious?

but I thought you didn't know how to brown meat?

I asked you last night!

H: let's just get me IV bags for when you leave

It'd be much more efficent

amandasw · October 2011

uwhuskygirl:
I give up. I'm just resigning to the fact that I have married my father:
me: For Christmas, would you take cooking classes for my present? all I want is for you to be able to fend for yourself while i'm gone
H: um, sure... I don't think it's the classes that are the problem
I just hate the time that it takes to cook
I can follow directions fine

me: for serious?
but I thought you didn't know how to brown meat?
I asked you last night!

H: let's just get me IV bags for when you leave
It'd be much more efficent

looool

well, I will say that's a weird reason. I guess some people just don't like it. My H started liking cooking when he saw this blog.

jennuinne · October 2011

Maybe tell him it'd really turn you on if he cooked for himself and you'd be so hot and bothered you wouldn't be able to help yourself and you'd do all kinds of nasty things to him. Maybe that'd work???

mgoss228 · October 2011

uwhuskygirl:
I'm thinking about asking H to take basic cooking classes for my Christmas present this year.
I don't need him to make gourmet meals or anything. I just want him to be able to fend for himself, and not going to Wendy's every night, while I'm gone.
I spent an hour and a half making him food to eat while I'm gone last night. He's totally fine reheating things, but when it comes to actually cooking it he claims he's clueless.
Is this a super crappy thing to ask him to do?

I'm a day late, but since DH and I have "gender role reversal" in the cooking department I thought I would chip in.

DH is the one who cooks 90% of our meals at home. If he got me a cooking class as a gift I would be happy to take those classes to help him in our home, and take some of the pressure off of him. I know I should help more with cooking, but I suck at anything that isn't baking/dessert. A Cooking Class gift is a great and caring idea for a gift, imo.

CDMay2006 · October 2011

If that's what you want for Christmas, then that's fine. However, i feel like feeding one's self is a basic skill/responsibility and it is a reasonable request for him to feed himself while you are on your (frequent) business trips, and asking him to do so shouldn't have to be your Christmas present. KWIM? If you would enjoy a cooking class with him, then maybe that could be a good present, but otherwise, it's like me asking my dh to take a housekeeping class... it's silly b/c while it benefits me, it's not a gift to me, just a means toward engaging in a typical responsible adult activity.

Would this be a crappy Christmas present?

Re: Would this be a crappy Christmas present?

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