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Annoyed!
DH was offered 2 free OU/TX tickets yesterday. I know he has been wanting to go. What bothered me though was that he didn't even ask me if I wanted to go. I understand football is his, his father's, and his brother's thing, but I atleast wanted to be asked. Plus, it's my birthday this week and I thought spending it in Dallas this year would be really fun.
We go into last night over tickets. It probably didn't help that I've been pretty moody the past couple of days, but I was really hurt. I was acting pretty selfish and I have since apologized, but I can't get past the fact that he didn't even think to ask me.
ETA: Oh the best thing he said to me last was "I didn't think it was your cup of tea". I told him "How would you know if you didn't ask me?".
Re: Annoyed!
Yeah he's going.
Oh, I would be annoyed too. It isn't just about the game - it is about the whole experience. I don't particularly enjoy the game either but we go down early so I can shop and then DH runs around the state fair with his friends and they act like a bunch of wild monkeys. It is a good place for them to run around given that it is fenced in and all. Plus, even though I don't like the games, there is something different about the OU/TX game...there's a lot of spirit there, the jabbing that goes on between fans, its just fun.
So, yup, I would be super pissed.
Ooh, yes. I would've been very upset too. Extra points since it's your birthday!
I'm sorry that happened.
my bookshelf!
Bloggy
So, is he taking someone else? The right thing for him to do would be to explain to that person that he made an error and that he is taking you, his wife, to enjoy her birthday weekend.
I'd be pissed, too, but I love football.
He's taking his brother. He told me this was on their bucket list.
Me too dude. Not cool.
Yea, I'm going to be on the minority on this... I read this and I didn't go grab my torch and pitchfork. Bear with me as I ask questions to get a better understanding...
Did you have set plans for this weekend for celebrating your birthday? Or did you assume you were going to go do something?
So you're upset you just weren't asked? If he had asked you, would you have said yes? Then he invited you to Dallas for the weekend because he felt bad of your reaction and you got upset at that too? So he'll be gone for the better part of Saturday for the game, but maybe there is some room for compromise to do something Saturday night in TX for your birthday. And you'd have a built in babysitter with your BIL & SIL.
It seems to me like, you understand/assumed it's a "guy thing" (which is not a sexist statement in any way shape or form, because I love FB as much as the next guy), but he also had an understanding/assumed that something like this game wouldn't appeal to you. From my perspective, why invite and take someone to something that they are not going to enjoy, when I know that my own brother would pee himself silly to get free tickets for this game.
If I was offered free tickets to a ballet or something, would I invite my husband first off the bat? Nope. While yes, it would be nice to take your spouse, why put them through something they are NOT going to fully enjoy and take a girlfriend or sister with you. Someone who can talk about the different ballet techniques, costumes, where that ballet dancer danced before, etc... Kind of how some men view football.
Honestly, I feel bad for your husband in this instance. I think he got put in between a rock and a hard place. Like anyone, he got excited about getting free tickets to a REALLY big game. And he knew his brother would enjoy it the most. If this is something on his bucket list, give the guy a break. I'm sure now that you've had arguments over this, have voiced your discord for his decision, and that he is not going to fully enjoy this game. And I am almost positive this will be a chip on your shoulder judging from comments. BUT in a perfect world, as the situation stands right now, what would be your ideal solution to this? Would you rather he give the tickets away, stay home all weekend with you, maybe go out to dinner, all in the while watching the game on TV secretly cursing you for guilt tripping him to stay home? And always regret not going to the game? The argument can be made, "Well, it's the principle of the point he didn't ask?" To that I say - So? I just think life is too short to be annoyed/upset over something like this.
Find a babysitter, grab some girls, go glam yourself up, and go have an amazing girls night. OR take him up on his offer, go to Dallas, glam yourself up while he's at the game and go have an amazing birthday dinner/night. This can be a win-win situation for both of you, where no one is annoyed, hostile, or carrying a grudge for the events that do or don't transpire this weekend.
Hmmmm...before I reply to this reply...how long have you lived in Oklahoma? This is important information to know....
A long time. I know how important this game is, graduated from OU, and I've been to the many of the games. ::flame away::
I was just offering a different perspective on the matter, and as stated before, I knew i'd be the minority on this one.
No need to get defensive, I was just curious!!!
I do understand what you are getting at, but it is the principle of it all. If I were to get free tickets to something I enjoy ,yes, I would ask my H to go with me first. If he declines fine I'll ask someone else. But he would be the first person I would ask. And that's honestly what has me hurt by this to begin with that I was not even considered.
Oh man, I can see why your feelings got hurt, for sure. But I like glitter's make-lemonade-out-of-lemons take on this, and I do think he's trying to do some damage control. What if you and M go to Dallas with him, and SIL or whoever watches M while you go out shopping or something? Have some lunch, have a nice, relaxing afternoon puttering about. When he gets back, go for your birthday dinner together somewhere lovely.
I agree, he goofed up, but we all do sometimes. Probably he just got so excited that he wasn't thinking, just as simple as that. Try not to take it as a personal slight (although I understand completely why you would feel that way, especially it being your birthday!) and just as a stupid goof on his part.
What do you think you'll do?
I like this response. I wouldn't expect H to use one of his "dream tickets" to take me to a game that I wasn't much into. He would have a much better time going with someone who is as fully into the game as he is.
However, I think I would also be upset at H for the way he handled the situation. It's not so much that I want to go to the game as I want to feel included. A simple heads-up that he was given the tickets and would like to take BIL to the game would have been fine for me, rather than learning this after the two of them had already made plans.