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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
OK, tell me how wonderful it is having a second child - LOL!
As my due date approaches, my anxiety about having another baby, and "messing up" our family dynamic, is getting worse. Logically, I know I'm not "messing up" anything, I just worry about all of us adjusting and Jack not being my (only) baby anymore! He, of course, doesn't WANT to be a baby and is all about being a "big boy" and seems totally excited about the whole big bro thing.
Now, again, I know this isn't logical, but I also worry there's no way I can love this next one as much as Jack. I mean, are you all for REAL when you say you do/can? LOL!
Basically, I'm looking for you all to tell me how wonderful everything is once #2 pops out. Give me your "success stories," if you will!
Re: OK, tell me how wonderful it is having a second child - LOL!
I remember my mother confessing this to me recently when she was pregnant with my little brother. She said she cried when she had that thought. Don't worry, she and my brother bonded just fine!
But, even knowing that, I am going to monitor this thread for the advice listed.
It's true! You can love them equally and differently. It is so amazing to see the dynamic of K and B together. I love that she's so nurturing and I love that he follows her every move. I cherish my alone time with each of them as they are so different and both fulfill my life in different ways. You will love it, I promise!
Now back to editing so I can get a sneak peak on pics.
J, it's fun having two! Really it is.
I absolutely love Elsie's interest in her brother and giddiness when she makes him smile. I love that fact that her little brother is going to adore her and will laugh, because this is bound to happen, when Elsie dresses him up or does something so Elsie-ish to him. And she is already a protective big sister at daycare, don't touch her brother.
I will admit that it is crazy at first and takes some adjusting. I make every effort each week for Elsie and mom time because she needs it with me nursing Ian a lot of the time and not being able to be with her like I was before. Even if it's breakfast out or a quick trip to the store, she goes with me and we get our time together.
And believe me your heart is big enough to love 2 little guys.
O! Nestie Blog
I am waiting for these emotions to hit. It helps that E is totally excited to be a big sister, but before we got pregnant, I was feeling the anxiety of trying to figure out how you can love more than one.
I can just speak from being 1 of 3 kids. I was never jealous of my parent's affection for my siblings, and never felt like life would be better without them. As for family dynamic, I couldn't imagine life without my siblings. Life would have been so much different without them around.
Change is always hard, but I would guess that if having 2 was really that bad, there would be a lot less families with 3 or more!
Clearly I don't have a second child unless I am hiding some sort of massive secret from the nest (which I am not).
I just wanted to share that I have a friend whose nearly 4-year-old had a difficult time adjusting to the baby sister. He started acting out quite a bit, but it did get much better eventually (as in, within a couple of months, b/c the baby is only 2+ months old right now). They tried to spend plenty of solo time with him, and also had to walk the line between tolerating some behavior as his own adjustment and disciplining when things were too far out of control. So, although for some it is not actually puppies and rainbows at first, just in case that is the case for you know that it will improve! And I do hope it's not the case for you!
Fine, I'll be honest.
For me, #2 wasn't a real joy until he got out of that newborn stage, probably closer to 9 months. And Brody pretty much ignored him before then, too. It's just hard. As you've seen by others testaments on this very board. And you've been through it, but now you don't have all that free time with a toddler clogging up the works. The newborn is awesome in their own way, but it's not what you're used to at all anymore, and it feels like you're backpeddaling. If that makes sense.
As far as loving #2 as much - easy! I thought the same thing and cried and cried about ruining my only baby's life right before delivering #2. And he was on my last nerve at that time in my life (being exactly the same as my current baby is - eek). You will love #2 when you meet him, and if you're like me, you'll love him more at times (oh they're so cute, they don't talk back, they don't run away, they don't hit, they eat what you feed them, etc). Easy
To sum up - having 2 is eventually easier and your heart will explode seeing them together doing cutesy touching things, but hard at first. Your dynamic will fall into place with two, and you will relish your one even more when you get to spend time with just him (whichever one that may be).
I'm not claiming success just yet, but I do plan to eventually get there. You'll get there too
thanks to jennied
I love both of them.
It was very hard for me for a long time with the 2. I just started staying home with them. K was 2 years and 2 months old when H was born. I was working on potty training with a brand new infant. She regressed in the potty training department and bfing wasn't going great. H didn't sleep at night for 14 months. It was hard on me with the 2 so close in age. Now it is great... they are best friends and I can do my own thing b/c they entertain each other.
I've heard it's horrible so when you pop that little one out just call me and I will pick him up and keep him.
Don't worry you will do fine. Jack will be a great big brother. All families adjust, your worry now is no different than mine was of disrupting dh and I's family dynamic that we have had for 11+ years without kids. Then along came Lyra and boy has our life changed but all for the better, and yes we joke about our old lifestyle and all the things we "could" do back then but I wouldn't trade this loud, up all night child for the world. Your life will be better, your love will grow. Jack will always be your first but you'll love both boys the same.
Thanks, everyone! Ultimately, I know it's going to be fine; I guess I'm just scared of the unknown. Also, not having any siblings growing up, I think it's harder to "see" that side of it.
I'm a mess!