Sex & Romance
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Low sex drive
Im going to be blunt here...I am having trouble getting into the mood for sex/lovemaking. My Dh is almost always ready to go but I don't fell like it. I also find it hard to reach the big O. Dh almost always "goes off" within 10 min.We only have sex about 3 times a week. Please i need help. Because of this situation i am reluctant to have sex. I love my husband and I don't want him to leave me someday because of this.
Re: Low sex drive
Frankly, 3x a week is not infrequent. That's about how often we do it, though fortunately our libidos are more in sync with each other. Do you want to do it more often? Less? (I assume less since you don't enjoy it). Does he want it more? (Presumably)
You need to communicate and work together here. If he expects to have sex, he needs to take the time to get you all the way to the edge or even an O or two (if you can have more than one in a session) before he even thinks about his own. Of course you'll be unfulfilled if it's over in 10 minutes. Most women take longer than that to O.
3 times a week? I think that's pretty good.
Are you taking oral BCPs? Oral birth control can indeed mess up your libido. Consider going off them and trying a barrier method like a condom or a diaphragm and condom.
Have you masturbated? If not, start. Show your H what turns you on; youshould have no trouble getting in the mood once you find out what makes you orgasm.
Your H also needs to learn control --- I am guessing he is sexually inexperienced. I suggest more foreplay and going slowly --- a guy can come in 10 minutes but rarely can women do the same.:)
You two need to have a talk about your expectations in bed.
Three times a week seems like a decent number, especially since I can't really seem myself wanting to have sex all the time if I never O'ed... talk to him (or show him!) what gets you over the edge, make sure you finish first through oral/manual and work on getting him to last longer.
Once things get better for you your sex drive may improve. However, if you have a naturally lower sex drive than YH you need to talk about ways to make it work for both of you (maybe a little more than you might want to and a little less than he might want to?).
Sigh. Talk to me when you only have it every couple of months. Without ever having an O.