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Can't stand my job (long.. needed to vent)
I really dislike my job and I feel trapped in it. 
I work at an insurance co at a call center. We have to adhere to strict metrics, people get on written warnings left and right for not performing up to par (lucky I'm doing well). Customers are so mean.. and I know we're told not to take it personally but it's hard. I take up to 100 calls a day. Each call has to be under 5 min. They monitor our computers, they know when there is idle time, how long I'm on each screen, if my mouse doesn't move for 10 sec, etc. We always have to be productive to their standards. I am literally chained to my desk. We get warnings if we use too much time off the phone to use the restroom. Even 3 min a day is too much. (we get 2 15 min breaks during the day (and a lunch) and are supposed to use that time to use the restroom, but I drink a lot of water and have to use the restroom more often). I work from home (that's a plus) but it's hard because I get no social interaction. I can't socialize with any other coworkers because we're all too busy. I feel very alone. I cry at least twice a day from frustration.
I tried actively to look for another job but with no success. I make decent $ with what I do. I don't have a college degree and a lot of the jobs that do pay enough $ (similar salary) don't even give me the time of day. I can easily find another job that pays $10 an hour but that DEFINITELY won't help me get the bills paid.
I try so hard to stay positive.. I go for walks on my break, read inspirational career books, I set goals to motivate myself. I exercise regulary to blow off steam. I even drink "tension tamer" tea and light aromatherapy candles (lol) and keep my office clutter free. I start the day sooo positive, but as soon as I take a couple calls, I can't push away the negative feelings anymore. I have tried energy pills to perk me up, drink tons of coffee.. and it's a temporary lift. I have lost my motivation.. It's affecting my personal life too. I put so much emotional energy in my job that I am EXHAUSTED after work, I can barely muster up the energy to go to the grocery store.
Sometimes it's so bad, I think to myself, why can't I get the flu or something, this way I won't have to work. UGH! How awful of me to think that way.
I know I should just be happy I have a job.. and I am thankful however this is really affecting my well-being. I just don't know what to do anymore..
Re: Can't stand my job (long.. needed to vent)
First, when you get off the phone and shut down the computer (or at least your work programs from your computer), leave it there. It's easier said than done because so many of us base our happiness on our work.
I was in a position where my work started to really stress me out - my hair started falling out, my desire to exercise waned, even DH was saying that he'd rather I lose my job and see me happy than hear me complain about it. (Self-fulling prophecy I suppose because I did lose my job, but thankfully will be starting a new one soon.)
Anyway, you know you're doing what you're supposed to be doing... do you have outlets besides message boards and your spouse? What about friends? Talking is really important. I started seeing a therapist when work started really affecting me.
As for work, what do you want to be doing? Life is too short to be chained to a job you really dislike. Think about what you're doing now and how your skills now can be applied to a field/industry you want to be in. Find a way to dig yourself out. I know that sometimes it seems like it won't get better, but keep looking, something will come up!
I'm so sorry you are in this position. I can completely understand how you are feeling. My job is entirely different than yours, and my work environment is very different as well, but I've been absolutely miserable for far too long. My DH said something similar to what roar's DH said. I didn't lose my job but I did recently turn in my 2 weeks notice and my last day here is Friday. And in these past two weeks I've been so much happier! Everyone around me has noticed and many have even commented. Everything is just so much better.
I'm sure it can be hard and overwhelming to job search without a college degree--I know how difficult it was for me and I do have a degree. But just keep trying. Is there anyway you could take even a little pay cut? Because I'm a firm believer that your happiness is priceless..
TI, IUIs, IVF = c/ps and BFNs
Are you still in the San Diego area? (you have it listed under your SN). If so, would you be willing to commute to work or do you have to work from home?
I work in Carlsbad and my company is hiring in multiple departments right now. With the exception of a few positions the majority of them have absolutely NO customer contact--you only have to deal with your coworkers. I can PM you the company name if you are interested.
I'm sorry to hear you've been having such a hard time. I've been in jobs where the thought of going to work made me cry uncontrollably, and it sucks.
My advice would be to make looking for a job you're number 1 goal. Check job posts on your lunch break, spend your free time looking everywhere you can. Make it your number 1 hobby, because getting away from your job will probably make you happier than any other diversion could.
Do NOT take another phone job. They are great for people that are suited to it, but it's definitely not for everyone, and since you've had such a bad experience with this one, anything similar is probably going to bum you out. Also, people are much ruder over the phone, it's really incredible.
Keep in mind that it can't last forever, there WILL be another job for you, it's just a matter of time. When you're on the job and feeling down, hold on to the picture in your mind of you getting a new job and being fulfilled and happy. The worst thing you can do is give up hope of it happening, because giving up is the only thing that can definitely prevent you from succeeding.
I also agree with the earlier post: if it's possible for you to take a pay cut, I'd do it. Also, try to find even an interim job. Sound like just about anything would make you happier than what you're doing...so take whatever you can get for now. The next job you take doesn't need to be your dream job, it only needs to be a way out of your current situation.
Chin up, I know you'll things will turn around for you!
Sounds like you might work at the same company I do...a large national insurance company....they do the computer monitoring stuff you describe (although that hasn't hit my department yet - I don't do customer service or have to take phone calls...I process FSA claims).
Just hang in there and keep your eye out for something else to come along...preferably not another phone job.Good luck!
Thank you so much for all the kind words and support. I woke up this morning and checked my post.. and I feel much better now and very motivated to change my situation. I gave up looking for a new job a few months back, however now is the time to start again. Nothing will change unless I take action to change it!
Gahanwild, I'm sending you a PM.
Got it! Sent a reply and included my email addy. I will be up in LA for a few days so if you have any questions I will answer them over the weekend.
My sister has been in call center jobs and what you are describing is exactly what she experienced.
Is it possible to transfer to another department at the company (this is what my sister did, after spending some time in the call center role).
Does the company have tuition reimbursement? Maybe another option would be to take classes in the evening, either towards a degree or certification, to expand your career options?
Good luck!