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My toddler style meltdown
I don't know, this is kind of a vent, I guess, but since a lot of you guys have toddlers, maybe you can tell me if this super duper meltdown style behavior is normal and I'm just WAY over-reacting (probably the case).
We took E to the Fryeburg Fair yesterday and met my folks there. Everything was great for the first hour or so - we went on the Super Slide, he rode the Truck Stop train ride twice for the price of one because the ride attendant guy was awesome and made friends with E, we saw some animals.
But E was tired and he quickly entered Tantrum City. We tried to distract him but it was too late. We'd get him on a ride and he'd have fun for 3 minutes, then immediately throw himself on the ground and start screaming.
So Matt is trying to calm him down, and I get the job of holding everyone's stuff - tickets, a turkey leg, a soda, etc.
At this point we've told my folks to go ahead and have fun without us because we are going to have to leave. So we left; it was very crowded, so I followed them, because Matt is a lot better at making a path through a crowd than I am. But my mind was just spinning this whole terrible scenario about how they're a family and I'm just some extra person who holds their turkey legs and walks 3 steps behind them at the fair.
Now, E and I are actually great buddies, and he apparently asks about me daily when I'm not around, and yesterday evening during diaper change time I heard him screeching "I WANT MY GOCKY!" so I know that I need to calm down, but sometimes I just get overwhelmed and start taking it all too personally. So after E was in bed I had a meltdown of my own. Poor Matt. He is a saint for putting up with me.
Re: My toddler style meltdown
Little kids melt down because they're tired, hungry, overstimulated, understimulated, or just because it seems like the thing to do. My own kid treats me like shiit plenty of times. And if I had a nickel for every time I carried all the junk...heck, even my DH uses my purse as his personal tote bag from time to time! Pack mule, punching bag, it's all part of the territory with little kids. Try not to take it personally.
I think that those feelings are normal and something that comes with being a 'stepparent'
In this case, there was a discipline problem and Dad had to handle it and handle it quickly to not reinforce tantrums. He had to trust you to handle everything else (goodbyes, apologies, food, coat, stroller...). You were a critical member of the team
I have to completely agree with this. There are times, I have to grab my boys fast and just get them out of the situation. At that point (depending who has more control of the boys) the other is responsible for carrying everything, taking care of goodbye's, etc.
Definitily don't take it personally. Kids will be in a great mood, and in less then a second devil child comes out.
I read this post yesterday and have to tell you the truth that I had a little giggle. The whole situation sounds unpleasant to say the least... and totally average! James had meltdowns of various sizes this weekend when: he suddenly stopped having fun bouncing with me on the big bouncy pillow that was the most awesome thing 30 seconds earlier; we had to go and we couldn't go down the slide or on the cow train any more; we wouldn't put his window down in the car; he was overtired from not napping and couldn't figure out what he wanted while we made sushi and started hyperventilating, I wouldn't give him back his free Hannaford balloon after he smacked me in the face with it; we told him no because were tired of reading the same books over and over; his shoe partially came off.
All of the energy and emotions that are involved in caring for a small one are exhausting. I highlighted your sensitive thoughts to let you know that all Matt was thinking about in that instant was probably "OMG Get me out of here before the kicking and ear piercing screaming picks up." He wasn't thinking at all about you- in that he knew you were on top of all the boring stuff and could be trusted to not get lost or freak out while you made your exit. He was really glad to not have to think about you because his brain probably couldn't handle it while fighting the good fight with an angry toddler! My DH and I regularly tune out each other in order to deal with whatever "crisis" is at hand- we don't blink an eye about it.
I think it's ok for you to have confused emotions about how you fit into the puzzle. We parents have the same questions, and our roles are generally a lot more obvious! Toddlers are both amazing and awful at the same time- it's just how it goes in their goofy little minds and we get dragged down with them and have to just survive sometimes.
It's worth it for the hugs and kisses and snuggles though.
This all made me smile and is totally true and definitely helps
I sometimes feel like maybe I'm not "allowed" to be fed up with the tantrum moments because he's not my kid. But please, who loves a tantrum? Nobody! Not even the kid throwing it ... I think.