Sex & Romance
yaykarin
member
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Ladies, how does sex with your husband make YOU feel? Honestly?
So I'm 14 weeks prego so there's a good chance this is just the hormones talking, but lately I feel like I'm getting to this place of feeling ---- nothing emotionally during/after sex. Is that normal?
For me the word that keeps coming to mind is "service". I feel like it's a service I provide in exchange for receiving -- but it's just not one I really want/need/think about, etc. so it rarely ever seems worth doing. Even "relaxing" isn't a feeling I enjoy about it because it feels more like work than relaxing. True relaxation to me = sleeping...
Is it supposed to make you feel loved? Special? Connected? At the very least do you feel like some need you have has been filled? Any advice, ladies?
Re: Ladies, how does sex with your husband make YOU feel? Honestly?
If only ONE of you is having his sexual needs met, of course it will feel like a chore.
I'd suggest you focus on figuring out what you need from the sex act, and why, and whether sex is an appropriate way to meet those needs. You may be expecting something from your spouse without him knowing what it is.
When you have sex, focus on meeting your physical needs FIRST. Someone has to go first, and it might as well be you. Most men are delighted to accomodate once they KNOW this stuff.
There are few times that I don't feel connected to DH after sex. I have a very high sex drive and I am turned on like no other and since DH works a lot I don't get to see him that often when we do have sex or even if it is just me pleasing him I feel sexy and connected, secure, and safe. I guess those are the best words to describe it. Sometimes the sex isn't all the great and sometimes I may not get to finish (DH is getting better about that though) but I always am emotionally involved in sex with DH, maybe it is just my mindset, but that is how I feel afterwards.
I appreciate that.
I think that's the problem, I guess I feel like I just don't need sex (very often or maybe at all) for whatever reason, but I also don't feel it's fair to deprive him from his needs just because they don't match mine.
=/
Before being pregnant, I really enjoyed sex. We generally did it 3-4 times per week, varying between oral and intercourse. I remember seducing my husband, and liking the results.
Then I got pregnant. We are down to 1-2 times per week, and most of the time I'm doing it because I know my husband likes it so much. Not that it's totally work and I don't end up enjoying it in the end, but it's really a charitable act on my part at this point. But, doing a charitable act for my husband does fulfill me in emotional ways. This extends outside the bedroom - there's something about pleasing him that feels good to me. I think it's because he's so appreciative