May 2008 Weddings
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
help me survive my trip
my mom and i get along pretty well. because we have half a continent between us. put us together for an extended period and things can get rough. i am especially concerned we may have a hard time now that i am off antidepressants and irritable and down. in general i feel like she tries to control me and she is super judgy. she will probably get annoyed if i spend too much time with my friends (or any) and she is always judgy about what i eat and my weight. she also has 20 things planned in a day for us and gets upset if i dont want to do something she wants to do. i usually give in but then it just puts me in a bad mood. also my stomach is a mess since getting my gallbladder out. she is not someone who is really very sympathetic to stuff like that. ugh i hate to be so pessimistic but what should i do if i start to feel crazed? i wont have a car. i just dont want to spend the whole time there wishing i was home. help!
Me:39 Dx LPD, Fibroid, AMA and all that goes with that. H:37 Dx low motility and low morphology. TTC since 3/12. Clomid 8/12 and 9/12: BFN. 11/12 on a break for Myomectomy sched. 11/26. Resume TTC early 2013.
Re: help me survive my trip
It sounds like you already made up your mind to have a bad time, so you'll be looking for things to annoy you.
My only suggestion would be to start trying to think of all the positive things to improve your attitude. Then if something happens while you're there take it as it comes. You want to look forward to your vacation, not dread it.
Couldn't have said it better myself, Kare.
MD, is it possible to just be straight forward with your mom? Tell her now, via a telephone conversation or something that you want to do what you want to do. And to be sensitive with you since you're off your meds now. It's your vacation and you're an adult. As far as I'm concerned, you can and should do whatever you damn well please.
I understand what you mean...when I still talked with my grandma (hah) she wanted to control my every move while visiting except for the food places because she loves to overeat and loved that I wanted to visit my favorites.
But hang out with friends phugh...wait you bought your own ticket and used your own vacation time and you want to spend time with others beside me? that's how she always acted and made me feel guilty.
Do you have any set plans with your friends yet? Like dinner and movies? I would recommend trying to line that up now and then have a chat with your mom now and say "hey mom I was trying to get a plan of what you'd like to do when I visit because friends a,b, and c would like to steal me away for one or two nights to do x,y, and z" then that way you're warning her, you're making her feel like she has first pic to do some things she'd like to do, but setting boundaries now.
If she gets upset on the phone just say "mom I love you and want to see you that's why I'm coming to visit but I miss my friends too and want to have some time with them as well"...she may not like it right now but she'll understand.
Have you told her about you being off your anti-depressents and how your stomach is after your surgery? I'd just mention that now and say that you have to be careful of where you go with your stomach and that you get tired more easily or something like that due to it.
GL and I hope you have a great time!
thank you! i have plans two times with friends and i have mentioned it several times so i'm *hoping* it helps. i even let her pick the day for the second time we're hanging out. i'll remind her again about the surgery and the antidepressants. she had GB surgery but didn't have stomach issues so she can't really relate.
I'm sorry if it came out wrong, but my only suggestion was really to think positively and if something came up to take it as it came.
I just know when I'm waiting for someone to annoy me I tend to get annoyed that much more quickly. I guess you can't really "un-anticipate" that since it's just sort of the dynamic of the relationship, but your OP made it sound like you were ready to get in a fight with her.
At any rate, I hope you have a good trip and it goes much more smoothly than your preparing for.
Good luck!!
Like Madame said if you have plans already laid out and she know about them hopefully she wont get so upset.
If all else fails enjoy some great California wine!! Lots of it!!
Good luck!! Hope you don't get too much drama!!!
My mom did this to me every time I came home from college for a visit. She would get all defensive about why was I spending so much time with my friends, and none with them (my parents.) So, I can totally relate to this part.
I hope you have a good trip despite your misgivings. I would definitely be upfront with your mom about how much you can do in a day. Maybe suggest movies you could rent and watch together for when you're tired and just want to veg?