Omaha Nesties
jln14
member
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
TTC-money question
Topic #4 random question:
1. Did you save a certain amount of money prior to having your children (i.e. to cover hospital bills, etc) and if so what amount if you did you set aside if willing to share?
*also short rant...I am getting tired of being responsible and not TTC as we are paying off previous debt and want to save before (something we believe in pretty strongly) but have known of at least 2 people who have not gotten married to a SO so that they could have a baby and be on govt assistance even though SOs both have well-paying jobs with benefits
Re: TTC-money question
If my hospital bills would have been expensive, I would have planned to save for that, but the only thing I saved or planned for was being off work for 12 weeks. It was really important to me to take a full 12 weeks off, 4 weeks of which was not paid. I got a supplemental plan that helped cover those weeks off and my hopsital bills were nil due to good insurance.
What is a SO? Significant other? But good for you for trying to pay off debt. Kids are expensive and I know so many people who get further and further into debt by not being responsible about things.
This stuff annoys me. There is a couple we are friends with where the mom stays at home with 2 kids. The dad is self employed and I know doesn't make a TON of money, but they may do well. When I said we were waiting to have kids until we have some finances and other things in place and she was like "You can get gov't help. I dont pay for formulas or diapers so it isn't that hard"
Sorry I'd rather work hard for my money and raise my kids knowing I PAID for it and didn't mooch off the state.
sorry...yes SO means significant other
*and pretty sure one of them plans to have another kid before they get married even though they are engaged so she can be on assistance still URGHH!! definitely was not taught to act that way growing up..
Considering I got pregnant at 21 in college with my boyfriend at the time.... no....and, flame away, but I was on Medicaid with that pregnancy--which, I might add, my now husband was responsible for all of Peyton's medical bills incurred at her birth (she went on his insurance at birth, I received a Fulbright grant and paid for my own international insurance at that point).
That being said, I have paid for all of my soon to be four kids and all of their medical bills since their births (and subsequent pregnancies). I graduated from college early with two majors in order to get a job to support myself and, despite having had children with complications, NICU stays, etc, we have fully supported ourselves.
Did I plan to get pregnant when I did? No. Am I ashamed of using Medicaid as a (gasp) not married college student? No. I did what the program is MEANT to do, help people get on their feet. I was on and off very quickly. I now have a good job, an esteemed government research grant to my name and soon to be three subsequent children that both my husband (the father of DD1) and I have paid for.
Do we have a huge savings? No but we live within our means and made do with the situation we got ourselves into as college students.
Ditto... I had an aquaintance make some snide and pretty hurtful comments lately about this. I am glad we waited to be debt free to have kids.
Maternity leave for my job is a joke, its about 20% of what my normal pay would be, since I am commissioned in sales. We have been saving to cover normal living, and savings expenses so we wont notice any difference. We have an HSA which we have begun contributing to to cover medical expenses. I know we will need to pay some out of pocket as well, but that will come out of savings that were currently setting aside.
Oh... another thing.
I have a 28 year old cousin who speaks in text speak on FB daily about how she is FURIOUS that the government won't pay for the child she and her husband have and how her 4 hour shifts at the mall aren't worth her keeping her job because, if she quits, she can get WIC, medicaid, etc.
That stuff annoys me
We saved enough for me to take my full 12 weeks off and be okay to pay bills. Granted I was paid for 6 weeks due to # of hours of sick leave I had at my company.
My recommendation after having been there:
1) Save for income replacement if you will not be paid for your leave or if you will be paid a portion. If you are not covered by FMLA within your company, also plan for possibility of having to pay your company's portion of your health insurance if it is through your company.
2) Figure out your rough costs for your hospital, anesthesia and your doctor's costs. The one cost I didn't complete plan for because I was having a brain fart was baby's hospital charges. All total we are paying $2,500 total out of pocket. luckily I met my max out of pocket by the time my hospital bill went through so I didn't pay for those costs. Also, then I had problems healing from my c-section so I had a wound vac so I had another $200 out of pocket to pay for this care.
3) Plan/prepare for baby's doctor's visits and shots. Until S met his out-of-pocket max, we probably paid an additional $200-$300.
4) Also while planning, keep in mind when you have baby. If you have baby in the beginning of the year, you will meet your maxes early on and once you hit 6 months for baby, most likely doc visits going forward will be paid by insurance. If you have baby in Nov/Dec, you will see a higher costs for doc visits in the new year for shots because your out-of-pocket cycle will start again.
5) Then I also put money away for his cloth diapers. So depending on what you do, then put money away that you would spend for diapers/formula, etc.
Basically on some of this, live like baby is already here and put the money in the bank. That way you are saving but you are already adjusting to not having that extra cash around to spend on fun stuff.
I had a second job that helped put money back but I also began to budget the costs for daycare so we were used to seeing that money budgeted toward that area.
A company is not required to pay you while on maternity leave. FMLA is 12 weeks UNPAID leave while protecting your job that truly is the purpose of FMLA is to protect your job while you are out. It is then based on state to decide if they want to require companies to pay their employees or the company's decision to offer short term disability. California has a paid fmla plan.
Also, if you want to take advantages of short term disability plans your company offers or plans such as AFLAC you have to own the policy anywhere from 10 months to 2 years prior to becoming pregnant
thanks for all the info ladies!! i am lucky and get paid maternity leave and we are looking at the AFLAC option prior to trying to help cover other expenses ...just was curious to others reactions (and p.s. just checked fbook and saw that one of the ladies in questions was just given a fairly new Cadillac Escalade for a present today from SO as her "mom" car for when baby is born)
P.S. totally not judging those who truly need the assistance and get welfare both of these women's SO make good money as you see from present mentioned above...it probably is (okay it is) my jealousy rearing its ugly head about it I am getting to the point where I saw screw debt it will probably be with us the rest of our lives just go for it and have a baby!! FIGHTING THAT URGE
This. Once we started TTC, and granted it took us longer than we thought plus some fertility, we started putting away $700/month. This was what we figured the monthly amount would be to cover daycare and other child expenses. Before we even started TTC though, for some reason I had $10,000 in my head as the "magic number" for what I wanted to have in savings before we got pregnant in order to cover medical bills (which ended up being over $5,000 for everything, and I have really good insurance. Bleh!), and then give us some cushion after that. I have great maternity leave benefits at work, so I was able to take 9 weeks off fully paid. Had that not been the case, I would have had to plan for that loss of income in addition to the medical bills. We don't have any debt besides our cars and mortgage, but had we, then I definitely would have wanted to get that paid down as much as possible. I get very, very, very upset when I see people popping kids out and living beyond their means, having 4 credit cards, their parents paying for things, etc etc... I don't think it's right that I have to bust my ass to have what I have with no help from anyone, but others can have it all. Would I love to get pregnant again and have another kid right now? Of course! Can we afford it, and still live as comfortably as we are? Hell no! Hence the reason we have to wait at the very least another year. Do what you need to do to live the life you want to live. Only you know what you can and can't afford. I remember being a total freak about money and having a baby, but in the end, you make it work and you do what you need to do. And remember that even when you get pregnant, you still have 9 months to save and pay off debt before the baby comes! I always let myself forget that!
See this is funny to me. I think you have to be really poor to get Medicaid. I applied for it when I found out I was pregnant with DD, because I was unsure if my insurance would cover my pregnancy. Its a long story, but I had just found out my job was ending, so I was going to be unemployed as well.
Well I was denied. Why? Because my DH (we weren't married at the time) supposedly made too much money (he was making A LOT less then). They wanted to know how much he made, how much in savings, how much was in his 401K, what year his car was, etc. Seriously, it was intense. Thankfully, my insurance worked out and covered it all, or we would probably still be paying on it. We had some savings, but not enough to cover an emergency c/s, etc.
It kind of left a bad taste in my mouth. Its not like I was planning to sit on my butt all day and do nothing.
Don't even get me started on the whole issue of WIC and the govt paying for prenatal/baby care. Most of my family took advantage of the govt. (they can work most just choose not to or if they work cigs are more important than paying for insurance) while I've paid for all pg (including a m/c). It has made me resent them because they like to gloat about not paying and getting medicaid, food stamps, $8,000 back in taxes (when they don't even pay in that much), etc. Grrrr, makes my blood boil.
Yes, we, my h and I, saved before we had children. We made sure we had enough to cover medical bills and maternity leave. This was savings beyond our normal savings. We also made sure to budget in our monthly/yearly budget for daycare, clothes, other kid expenses, savings/college fund, etc. before we had them to make sure we wouldn't be spread too thin.
When we started TTC Anders we were living in VT, both worked jobs that allowed for high levels of flexibility with time off and scheduling, had a very nice savings account and no debt (including owning 2 vehilces outright and a home outright). The day I found out I was pregnant, DH was offered a job in NE, where we knew no one and had zero family. We took the job and moved out here because it allowed for him to advance his career in ways he never could have in VT, and I could be a SAHM.
When we started planning to have a 2nd child, we chose not to TTC until we sold our home in VT. While we didn't have a mortgage, we did have insurance, utilities, and maintenance costs on the home that were a part of our expenses. Honestly, we would not have started TTC unless we had sold our home because it was financially hanging over our heads.
For us, it was important to be debt free and have a savings account that could support unknown expenses. For example, we had great health insurance in VT-out here, it sucked. We paid 14k to have our first child-there was only one option, DH's work insurance policy, since we moved when I was pregnant. If we had stayed in VT, my insurance policy was an $800 annual deductible-HUGE difference. I couldn't BF with A-which added on another unexpected $60+ a month.
The best thing you can do, IMO, is budget like the baby is here before you have one. I would work on paying off major debt and then restructuring your expenses to reflect a child in your life before ttc (including lost pay for maternity leave, diapers, food, baby furniture, etc...), but again, that's just my opinon.
A little late to the party here, but yes, we saved before/during TTC. We waited until I was close to graduating from the nursing program, DH's company was established and we were closer to paying off some credit. It also took us 3 years to GET pregnant, so we saved during that time as well.
Having worked in the ER, I have seen first hand the abuse of the system. $800 (minimum) bill when a $1 EPT from the dollar store would have given the same result...don't get me started!
Did we save? Yes and no. We did save up, but it took fertility treatments to get pregnant, and that took alot of what we had. We also had some issues with vehicles, and that took alot, too... We have debt, but we do what we do, and it will be paid off when it's paid off.
The biggest thing that helped us once we got pregnant - we reworked our budget to add in daycare. We put that money into a separate savings account - it helped get us used to living with less a month, and also helped us get the things we needed (and need) to get for DS. We reworked the budget again when I was 35 weeks, adding what we estimated for diapers, etc... in addition to the daycare. That extra money really helped when my PT job didn't have as many hours for me, keeping up with diapers, BM storage bags, etc... as well as our hospital expenses.
As far as the medicaid part of this conversation -- I think as long as you are using it responsibly - like Robyn said, to get on her feet! - then it is totally appropriate! I've had parents tell me in the past they were pregnant because "I need more money." Yeah, I about freaked!
Picture courtesy of Heidi Keene Photography