June 2008 Weddings
trickeytricky
member
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: FTS
No one freaking ounce.
Freaking food and booze is everywhere. I think I need to become a hermit b/c it's impossible (for me) to go to a social outing and restrain myself.
I feel like Fall is the season of tailgates, festivals, holiday parties, get togethers, etc. It's fun but not so much for my waist. Book club last week was a lovely southern book so the host had fried chicken, chicken poppers, mac and cheese, sweet tea, etc. I'm hitting up two festivals this weekend and I already have my food route planned out.
I keep thinking I can shame myself into having restraint but it doesn't work.
I want to clean my house
I want to bake
I feel like $hIt (thanks nest for editing my last two attempts)
My BP is high today
I want to do all sorts of things, but can't, because I'm supposed to be resting....gah!
Then, after nursing Sawyer, he stood up on my lap and spit up into my mouth and all over my shirt. Sooo gross (but also kind of sweet flavored...TMI?). Thankfully, the rest of our morning has been going fine, but I've had enough of the bodily fluids, that's for sure!
BFP 11/25/2009 ~ Blighted Ovum Discovered 12/10/2009 ~ Natural M/C 12/24/2009
BFP 3/29/2010 ~ EDD 11/25/2010
Sawyer Marshall ~ November 16, 2010
H moved out of the house 6 weeks ago. Except for ONE night, every night since then Jack is with me, I put him to bed, I am up with him if he wakes during the night, I am up with him in the AM at whatever time he decides to get up.
This week, Jack is getting a couple of teeth, plus there was that damn full moon, so he has been sleeping like crapola. I am exhausted.
I ask H if he can take Jack overnight on Saturday, to give me a full nights sleep. You know, cause I am 6 weeks away from giving birth and all.
He says he can't b/c he is pretty sure that some people want to go out for his bday that night. (his bday is next week)
Ok, so going out is more important than spending time with your child, and also giving me a small break - you know, the woman who is PREGNANT WITH YOUR CHILD. Pardon me, but I was not aware that all your parenting responsibilities revolve around what is convenient for you, just b/c you are not living in the house.
I am beyond livid. FTS.
I promise I'd come do those things for you if I lived closer
*Hugs* I hope things get better for the little guy.
I totally agree. I think fall (& into Christmas) is the worst time of year to try to eat healthily. There's just so much seasonal yumminess that it's hard to resist, especially because of all the gatherings going on.
BFP 11/25/2009 ~ Blighted Ovum Discovered 12/10/2009 ~ Natural M/C 12/24/2009
BFP 3/29/2010 ~ EDD 11/25/2010
Sawyer Marshall ~ November 16, 2010
That and a punch to the throat
I'd hold him down for you guys!
BFP 11/25/2009 ~ Blighted Ovum Discovered 12/10/2009 ~ Natural M/C 12/24/2009
BFP 3/29/2010 ~ EDD 11/25/2010
Sawyer Marshall ~ November 16, 2010
Katie, this is totally out of curiosity and just trying to help... are you guys going to get officially divorced anytime soon? Are you going to work out a custody agreement through the courts?
It's not fair to you to have to pull full-time parent duty, especially for reasons like going out with his friends. It's my understanding it can be kind of a bummer to work out, but if you do a legal agreement regarding custody (i.e. he has Jack every other weekend or whatever), he won't be able to saddle you with all of the responsibility.
Sorry you are going through this, and that your H is being a douche about pitching in.
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I agree, and only voice that for the same reasons that Heather did. I hope you two are able to come to a mutual understanding of what is expected of each other as single parents (more him than you clearly.)
In other news, it's a full moon?? Is that why Zac woke up at 1:30 am and wanted to get out of bed and go play in his playhouse outside? I picked him up to hold him in his chair, instead he slid down me, and in the completely dark house he walked to the patio door yelling 'house' as if he got all the sleep he needed for one night. :-/ Gah!
I agree. If he wants to still be a father, he can't run out and pretend like he's single and unencumbered again. He has responsibilities now.
Actually, I think in Ohio, you cannot get a divorce while pregnant ... just adding that in for the sake of saying it. :-/
Katie - sorry H is being a douche but.......it kinda goes to the reason you all are separated in the first place, right? He's not pulling his weight and he sucks for it - but you already knew that.
I still kind of want to kick him in the balls for you.
Send Jack down here - he's too cute not to want to hang out with
LOL thanks girls for all the offers of violence! There are times when I wish I could do all those things to him and more.
Heather, to answer your question. We are planning to file for divorce once the baby is born. And the plan is that I will have primary custody, and we will work out an arrangement amongst ourselves. Right now, my H has Jack every other evening during the week (bringing him home by bed time) and the other evenings I have him. Then we usually each have him one full day on the weekend - but again, when H has him, he brings him home by bedtime. This has been working out great. Jack gets to spend time with both his parents, and yet he is always sleeping in his own bed, and has his routines, etc. I feel like this is a good arrangement for Jack.
My H knows he can take Jack overnight whenever he wants to (on the weekends). He has only asked to take him once. Cause, you know, it cuts into his social life and also, who wants to wake up early on the weekend? Fine, whatever, I prefer Jack to be with me anyway. It can be challenging (b/c I am pregnant) but it's worth it to me. What royally pisses me off is that the ONE time I ask my H to take Jack, his priority is going out, not Jack, and not helping me out. And I guess what compounds this is that he walks around making himself out to be a victim in all this and that he has it so bad b/c he doesn't see Jack as much as he wants to. Yet, when given the opportunity to have Jack for MORE time, going out is more important. So basically, he only wants to spend time with Jack and AW all over Facebook about it when it is convenient for him.
In the end, I would do anything for my kid(s), and while it's hard to take on most of the responsibility - like I said, it is worth it to me. Jack (and Carter) is my priority, but that doesn't mean that I am not going to get angry when my H acts like a complete douchebag.
Sorry that was long. But now you get a little glimpse into WHY we are getting divorced. I can't deal with this BS anymore.
The full moon was like Tues and Wed I think? Or Wed and Thurs. My babysitter first mentioned that the kids act like wackos during a full moon, and I am starting to notice she is right!!! Apparently a full moon gets labor started for some women, and also turns toddlers into werewolves. hahaha
And therein lies our biggest problem. Ever since we started doing things like buying a house and having children, he doesn't get that these things are now his responsibilites. He wants to have these things, but let me do all the work involved, and he can continue to act like a 21 year old. I kept hoping that eventually he would grow up and start acting like an adult - but it doesn't seem that is going to happen. Alas, the divorce. And even AFTER I have explained to him why I want a divorce, you can see that he still doesn't get it.
That REALLY sucks. I'm sorry.
I think a big problem here is that a lot of people want to write this off as "that's just men" or "boys will be boys" so males who act like this end up with a free pass from people. Meanwhile, women don't want their lives to fall apart so they end up shouldering all the responsibility because if they don't, who will? Aggravating. My MIL and FIL live like that. It makes me nuts, and really really worried about how DH will be when he is older.
Is your high BP just the normal creeping up it has been doing? Or is something else going on that is making it high? Sorry these last few weeks are so rough for you
I hope you are able to rest today, even though I know that's hard when you have a million things running through your head that you want to do!
Haha not just the toddler either- I taught 3rd grade and you could tell a difference. My police officer brothers have said the same thing. Seems it makes everyone a little crazy!
Katie, I don't have much to add, but just wanted to say that I read your reply and understand. Hang in there. I hope he pitches in more with Jack once Carter is here. I know you are one strong mama, but you will have your hands full!
I think I would feel the same way if I were in your situation--exhausted and needing a break, but also wanting my kid(s) with me as much as possible. Though, I do hope it gets easier for you to split the time as the boys get older. You deserve a break, too!
I didn't know any of the reasons behind the divorce before, but it makes sense now that the very things about him that are impossible to deal with now were the reasons you guys split in the first place. Jerk!
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I don't think anything else is going on that is making it high. I had it taken at the OB office today (to drop off my pee) and it was high, and I was totally cool and not stressed out while there. It just seems to always be borderline high and then spikes up a lot.
I spent half the night in L&D a couple days ago because my readings were really high in the middle of the night. I got there and my BP was in the good range, which didn't make sense to me because it hasn't been in the "good" range for at least 6 months. Whatever, that doesn't make sense to me. It's good that my BP was good for a moment, but I'd rather the hospital have a true representation of what's going on.
My blood work today came back normal, but I don't know the results from the 24 urine collection yet, hopefully today but probably on Monday...
I'm sorry you are going through what you are with H. He's definitely not carrying his weight as a parent, and especially when pregnant you need even more extra support!