September 2010 Weddings
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Pregnerds and Mommies Weird Q
Weird question: will your family (or your H's) be at the hospital (in the waiting room, not in the delivery room) when you're giving birth?
(An unmatched left parenthesis creates an unresolved tension that will stay with you all day.
The Princess of Anything is Coming!
Had a dream I was queen.
Woke up. Still queen.
The Princess of Anything is Coming!
Had a dream I was queen.
Woke up. Still queen.
Re: Pregnerds and Mommies Weird Q
Hell. No.
About 5 minutes after I got my BFP I told K I didn't want anybody but him with me. Both moms insisted that they be called when I went into labor. Um, no. It ended up being a non-issue, but I'd do it the same way again.
But I also know that my mom would tell me to stop being a wuss a my MIL would just hover & make me insane. Everybody is different, but I knew they wouldn't be helpful and I didn't want them making labor slower or more painful than it already was going to be.
ETA: Reading comprehension fail. I didn't want anyone in the waiting room either. I didn't want people popping their heads in saying "how's it going?" or my H running to the waiting room with updates when he should have been coaching/supporting me. MIL already blows up our phones when we don't show up at functions according to her timetable. I can only imagine if she was waiting for her next grandchild to arrive.
I'm still in the anti-baby camp, but if we have one HELL NO will anyone be in the room watching for something to fall out from between my legs other than my H.
I don't think I'd want anyone in the waiting room either. I'd feel all stressed like they were all waiting on me and I'd have to immediately see them/entertain them afterwards. And chances are I'll look and feel like turds and just want to be alone.
Gah. Just the thought of all that makes me feel frazzled!
When J's sister was in labor, she was induced and the process was LOOOONG. being single, it was just MIL in there with her. I went in and brought MIL dinner and sat with SIL so MIL took a smoke break. So i was there for support, but I wasn't there when things got moving.
For us, it will be just us in the delievery room, even though they are big enough to house about 20 people. If things are going sloooooow, I might let MIL come in the room to visit. HOWEVER, MIL doesn't go anywhere without deadbeat SIL and her baby now, and i don't want them in there.
My parents live about 1.5 hours away. We're due end of January......in wisconsin. So i'm betting there will be snow. If that's the case, my mom is crazy about driving when there is snow not only coming down, but already on the ground. (when i told her the due date she asked why i didn't pick a better time for that reason). So i doubt they'll be up at the hospital.
I would say, do what you're comfortable with. J has a lot of family in the area, so I'm sure that the first month after the baby is going to be full of family and friends. That's another reason why I want the actual moment to be just us, as our little family.
Although, I have had a couple friends who have let anyone in the room who wants to be there. They wouldn't have had it any other way.
You have time to think about it, figure out what your comfortable with, and what's important to you.
Im not preggo right now but with E I was the same as Susie. Shut down the room to just her dad and I. I only let grandmas and grandpas and uncles come after she was born. His mom was kinda pushy but I shut her up fromt he get go and no problem. They get to be there for every other special event. I wanted that first couple hours to be his and mine.
I'm just trying to gauge what's "normal." In my (crazy, over bearing, manipulative) fam, my g'ma was always in the delivery room (once for my mother, a bunch of times for her DILs) and the rest of the fam was waiting in the waiting room. So that's what I'm used to, though I know full well this is likely to not be the norm.
I definitely want NO ONE but H in the delivery room with me. (My mother will be very upset about this no doubt but screw her). H doesn't even want to tell people anything is going on until the baby is born and doesn't want anyone (his fam either) to come to the hospital and to wait a week or so before anyone comes to visit us. He wants time for the two of us to get used to the baby and some time for the dog to get used to the baby (no problems foreseen with the cat).
I see where he's coming from and part of me agrees with him.
Part of me feels like that the g'parents, all of them, should be given the opportunity to see the baby shortly after birth. Both of our families are 2-3 hours away, but I know my parents would hop in the car at 2AM if we called and told them I was in labor.
I think this is another situation where I need to get over my family's expectations and just say "here's the deal. you can see the baby on such-and-such day."
The Princess of Anything is Coming!
Had a dream I was queen.
Woke up. Still queen.
I have already spoken to G, my parents, and my in laws about this and the only sticky issues are my dad and sister. I want my mom and Gerren in there, as my mom used to be a midwife and I want her to be my doula. But that is it. However I know my dad and sister would be so offended to not be in there, and in the end I want to be surrounded by there love and support when I do this, so I can see myself having them in there with me. But I doubt I would let my MIL and FIL in there (and they know this and said they were fine with that).
I have no problem with cousins, family, in laws, the mayor, Barrie and Michelle O., and Tim Riggins and the Dylan Panthers et al waiting in the waiting room.
Of course, I am nowhere near prego, and this could all change once I actually am (in 32 years).
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If I ever have kids, my mom will be in the delivery room with me. I'm not sure MFD will be. LOLOL. My stepmom will probably be too, it's up to her.
My dad and carol and my Mom and Rich and brothers will definitely be at the hospital for the birth. My mother-in-law will probably be there as well.
Not preggo yet, but the one thing H and I agree on with NO exceptions is he and I only in the delivery room. Neither of us have great "mommy" relationships, and I think it'd be uber weird to have dads in there. I don't really care who is in the waiting room, but they better know I'M going to give the okay for visitors afterwards.
There is virtually NO chance of our opinions changing on this once it becomes a reality.