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Ramblings About My Local Board
About a year ago I posted something on facebook that a lot of my local nesties took as very offensive and one went as far to sent me a very abrasive email. Looking back at the situation, I can see how people could take what I said as offensive, but that was not my intention. More or less I didn't have a filter and mostly only my medical friends could understand where I was coming from.
I apologized to the local nestie to whom it hit home most, but from stalking the board the next couple of days, there was comments on the board how "they" were amazed I didn't go on and put a public apology on the board. I wasn't going to apologize for my personality. A lot of things were said in such the way, "I'm on the internet and have never met you so I can say whatever I want but probably wouldn't say if we were in person." You know, typical nest stuff. I decided not to comment on the "I know she's stalking and reading this posts," and did a GBCN to my local board and haven't posted in about a year.
DH is at work today and I don't feel like cleaning or working on my presentation, so I stalked my local board today. It made me realize I miss reading the local posts and commenting when I have something to add. It's mostly the weekends when I'm more active on the boards. A part of me wants to start posting again, but I am not going to apologize for my personality and feel like I would no longer be welcomed. In the grand scheme of things, I have my IRL friends and that's great so I don't need local nesties to like me, but it was major drama last year, I took it very personally, and truthfully, I don't want to be hurt again.
There really isn't any point to this post, but I feel like only nesties would understand.
Thanksgiving, 2011
Amanda & Joe, June 28, 2008
Blog of Randomness
BFP 6/10/11; Missed m/c at 5wk6d; D&C 7/18/11, Triploidy BFP 11/24/11, please be our sticky baby
Re: Ramblings About My Local Board
I'm sorry you had to deal with that sort of drama. It's amazing how the anonymity of the internet can turn grown women into junior high girls again.
Not to mention I really can't imagine you saying anything remotely offensive.
If you really want to post there, test the waters and reply to a couple of threads. I would imagine most people would have forgotten whatever went down and probably wouldn't react. Good luck!
I understand how you feel. My local is hardly active but I cannot post there because there is a crazy who sent me the most bashing and disgusting email one could ever receive and I do not wish to ever "run into" her again.
If you really miss it, I agree that maybe you should "test the waters". Are there any new people who may be welcoming and don't know the history of the post?
Not gonna lie, I am dying to know what was said, how it was taken so offensively (particularly to one person), and why it led to such a fall out. I can't imagine anything on FB from a nestie offending me enough to send a scathing email. Even if it were something offensive completely directed at me I probably wouldn't' catch on LOL. And I'm unabashedly going to ask you what it was, but if you don't want to repeat I understand.
ANYWAY, sometimes, that's just women. I'm sorry you're dealing with it and miss your nestie friends.
And, like PP, I can't imagine you saying anything that offensive. Don't apologize for everything, especially if you feel its just indicative of your personality...you're not a doormat.
Ohh, how do you google old posts and such?
My facebook status said something along these lines, "in regards to a 25 week baby, The resident who wants to go into NICU: He's so cute. Me: I think he's a little ugly."
So to anyone who's had a premie, I apologize if you find that offensive, that is not my intention. To anyone who has seen a very premature baby, they look very, very much different than older babies.
After that comment, some local nesties said things like, "you should be reported to your residency director for your insensitivty," "If I knew someone thought my baby was ugly I'd ask them to stop taking care of them," "you should just quit residency now because obviously your heart's not in it."
I proceeded to defriend ALL nesties on facebook and they prompted a whole new episode of drama and how I'm hiding from things.
Exactly what I was thinking. When/if I ever have a baby, I hold absolutely no illusion that other people will find my baby nearly as cute and precious as I will. Its a very personal thing. So to want to refuse medical staff who find my baby unattractive? I'll actually take the professional, qualified medical attention, thanks.
Lauren, thank you for reminding me I could google the post. I did and it reminded me how there were several other incidents where the local board misinterpreted things or didn't believe me.
Now I'm going off on the local board because I realize I have unknown anger.
One of my best friend's friend was friends with a local nestie. My BF's friend told my BF that HER SISTER who lurks saw something on the nest about BF's friend's husband. Well the sister said something and BF's friend's friend confronted the nestie who posted. About 3 months later, my BF asked if I saw the post about BF's friend's husband. I said yes. She asked if I could find it and send it to her. I said yes.
So....since I actually post on the nest the mutual nestie thought I immediately went and tattled on her. She never fathomed someone could be lurking. I only shared the post when my BF asked if I saw it. Would I lie to my IRL friend? No. So it came out on my local board that "a nestie tattled on another and ruined a friendship." I defended myself and my BF's friend told me personally it was her sister who saw the post and my BF's friend was the one who told my BF about it and not me. Well, my local refused to believe me. I dropped it. Several months later, the fb thing happened and rereading the post, I now remember people threw that in there too.
Rereading the post made me realize it really isn't a group of girls I miss. Thank you Lauren.
What a hot mess! Yeah, they seemed like real peaches.
I kind of felt like a loser googling it, but I was just curious. I'm sure you figured out that you can do site:thenest.com and then put whatever search terms you want to search for. I wouldn't be able to go back to a group that had ripped me to shreds like that either. And after you posted what was actually on your FB, it's even more tame than "Love of Joe says all preemies are ugly", which is what they were making it out to be. If a doctor/nurse/etc. gives good care, who the heck cares whether they think your kid is cute?
I'll go ahead and step into my flame-retardant suit and admit that I've *never* seen a newborn baby who I thought was especially cute. It usually takes them a week or two to grow into their cuteness, lol!