September 2008 Weddings
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
I have the Fever
And I got it BAD! Ugh! Why does it have to finally strike when we're really not in a great financial position to start a family?! DH has it worse than I do, and that just makes it even worse. We're doing the right thing by waiting until we're a little more stable financially and maybe have a house of our own though.... right?
Seriously, I feel our bedroom relationship is suffering cuz I'm just totally not into it unless it's for the purpose of trying for a baby. This sucks.
Ok, vent over. Just needed to get that out there.
Re: I have the Fever
I think it just depends, how much more stable do you feel like you need to be?
You don't NEED a house of your own.
And by it depends I mean on what you two think (not really what everyone else does)
Totally understandable that you want to be a bit more financially set with everything that you guys are working on. Babies ARE expensive so the more prep work you can do ahead of time, the better.
With that, I agree, you don't NEED a house to have a baby, that's not a requirement by any means. However, if a house in the near future is a goal, a baby will slow that down a bit.
While you are working on your financial stuff, there are lot's of things that you can do to get yourselves ready for a baby
Like: both going to the DR for a physical (including a pap and pelvic for you), finding out if you need to switch any medications you are on, looking up what medical costs you may incur, looking into what impact it may have on work as well as looking at day care, starting prenatals, learning your body and your cycles, have the discussion of what you might do should it be difficult to conceive, building a savings for money that you might need just for baby (buying items needed, covering medical costs, covering medical costs for baby, covering a few months of day care), etc.
I had the fever for a good year if not longer before we started trying, and I am so glad we did some planning ahead of time, paid down debts, and built a savings for baby time. We didn't take into account me being out on bedrest early, but we have enough of a buffer in our savings to cover it.
Starting a family is a wonderful thing and in the end you'll make it work whenever it does happen
OH and work on the bedroom stuff! It should still be fun and if / when you guys decide you are ready, it may seem more like a chore or work ar the time! As they say: practice makes perfect!
Per usual, I 100% agree with Jules. I also agree with Christina that it's about what makes it the right time for YOU. Everyone's definition of what's right is different. As long as a couple can meet the needs of themselves and a child on their own, I don't think other opinions really matter. Hang in there. Even if you don't think you are ready yet, like Jules said, there are so many things you can do to prepare yourself to be the best parents you can be when the time does come, and it will come.
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I also agree with Jules and Jo. I don't think you're ever really READY, even when you are "ready", you know? But I do think there are times you are certainly NOT ready, like if you don't have a stable living situation (although by no means does this mean you must have a house - but if that is a goal for you then I can see it being something you want to do first), stable income, and a plan.
I think what you can do is really prepare yourself physically NOW to ensure easier conception and a healthy pregnancy! Get into a healthy routine for both of you and for sure talk to your doctor about your plans.
You guys will figure it out - and let me tell you that even after a year of trying, when we finally did get pregnant I FREAKED out thinking we weren't ready! It is scary :-) But it's normal to be nervous, excited, etc.