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WWYD - Horrible Neighbors
Hey ladies, I used to be a regular poster on TK but jumped over to TB after we got married.. but I have a question about horrible, insane, hard to deal with neighbors.
They moved in about six months ago. MH and I walked over and introduced ourselves when we moved in, but only the husband and adorable 1yo son was home. He seemed nice enough. We talked again a couple times when we both happened to be in our backyards. I didnt even see the wife until they had been living there two months.
My first encounter with her: I was walking our medium sized dog in front of her house and she was in her driveway playing with her son. He son called out hi to me, and she snapped at him "No, Jacob!" I laughed a bit and said hi, mostly to her and waved, slowing down and hoping to meet her. She wouldnt look at me or respond to me, but he son kept saying hi and she would yell at him to stop saying hi to me. Freaking weird. I asked if something was wrong or I did something to offend her, but she would still not look at or talk to me. Whatever.
Im generally a pretty nice person, so I continued to wave and smile at her whenever I saw her. Nothing. One afternoon around two my grandma came to pick me up for lunch. She doesnt have a cell phone, so she honked maybe twice to let me know she was here. I came out, and as we were driving away, the neighbor lady came screaming out of her house, who did we think we are, her baby is sleeping, and many cuss words. Whhhhhooooooaaaa.
We are renting to own from my uncle, and while he was over one day looking at a broken AC, he started talking to the husband about the new fence our neighbors put up. Its about a foot from our fence, so its kinda a pain to try and mow in there. They talked and all was fine, until my uncle goes to leave and I hear screaming in the front yard. I go out there and its like all craziness has broken loose. Im not sure what happened really, but I take this opportunity to ask what the heck is going on. This woman still wont look/talk to me, but half speaks to me through her husband. Apparently she has a phobia of dogs (whatever, Lex is a wimp dog, he hardly barks.) I pretty much just gave up and asked if could all just be civil, because we are neighbors and live 20 feet from each other. She responded by saying she didnt want to be my friend and she didnt have to know "everyone in timbucktu." haha, okay, I stopped trying and let her storm in the house.
I got invited to a party bus birthday party this weekend but didnt go. The next morning I got three, THREE calls from different people telling me that some girl on the bus was complaining about her drug addict/drug dealing neighbors who grow pot in their raspberry bushes. REALLY? She identified our address and names. MH and I do not do ANY sort of drug. Its just freaking insane and random. She said other bad stuff about us as well, but accusing us of being drug growers/drug dealers just takes the freaking cake.
What would you do? MH wants to just let it go.. all our friends know this is about the furthest from the truth, but its driving me insane that shes telling people this crap! Its pretty obvious she has some sort of mental disorder, so I doubt it will make a difference.. but I feel like I should still say something!
Sorry this is so long, but I kinda just needed to rant!
Finished BC and not preventing since June 2010.
Actively trying for baby #1 since July 2011.
SA completed 5/29/2012. No sperm found.
11/12: Dx: Congenital Bilateral Absense of the Vas Deferens.
Genetic Testing needed as this is a mutation of Cystic Fibrosis.
IVF #1 with ICSI planned for 2013.
PAIF/SAIF welcome!
Re: WWYD - Horrible Neighbors
From what you wrote, the woman sounds totally irrational. I would just leave her alone and not have any contact with her, if possible. You can't reason with an irrational person.
Mr. Sammy Dog
So sorry you have had to deal with this. I hate to say this, but I would recommend you keep track of all of the odd encounters you have had with them in a diary, including them telling people you grow pot in your yard.
Awhile back, a coworker of mine had some neighbors who were similarly crazy. As it turned out, they tried to make a living suing people. The filed a lawsuit against my coworker and her partner, alleging all kinds of silly things like what your neighbor just made up. Even though everything was fabricated, it cost my coworker $$ to get a lawyer to defend them in court. Hopefully nothing will come of it, but this person sounds really scary.
To be honest, if it was me, I would reconsider the rent to own unless they move out. I've lived at a place with a crazy neighbor once, and it was no fun. If you own, you are really stuck.
While I agree it is extremely aggravating to hear about someone dragging you through the mud like she did, you weren't there and despite the credible evidence of her behavior, it isn't going to help you to confront her. Sounds like the kiddo and hubby aren't so bad. Smile and be friendly to them.
I don't talk to my next door crazy-cakes either. She started screaming at my mom the day I took possession of my house because we were scrubbing the nasty floors with Murphy's Oil Soap (smells like lemons) with the windows open in the spring to air the place out and she thought it stunk - like the old lady mildewey nast smell was better I guess. She also shrilly screamed at me when I took out the lilac bushes between our houses (on my side of the fence mind you) that were quite literally taller than my story and a half house. They were a fire hazard and needed to go. She was pissed because now she could see into my kitchen. I smiled at her and told her they were my plants, I could choose to do away with them if I wanted, and my insurance adjuster would cut me a discount if I got rid of them so she can plant something on her side if it was that disturbing to her. She slammed the door to her house in a huff and I didn't care.
Kill her with kindness but don't go out of your way to make friends. Agree 100% with the suggestion from pp about keeping a journal of the wacky crap she makes up incase it should ever become necessary to use it. (sad...)
Tired after a long morning of hiking and swimming.
I also agree with everyone saying you should keep track of her behavior in a journal, and possibly consider documenting things on camera. If she honestly beleives you are growing pot I'm surprised she hasn't called the cops already. You also might want to track down how she is connected to your friends group, and simply let someone know that you are having problems and ask if they know a way to approach her that she might be willing to listen to you.
We have the exact opposite situation, we're stuck with the house my fiance's ex bought, because she couldn't afford it when they split. Its not at all the type of house we would choose for ourselves, but having wonderful neighbors makes up for it. Good luck!
I would figure out how she was on the bus and then casually mention that you must have a mutual friend. Maybe she will calm the F down. Or at least keep her mouth shut since you apparently know some of the same people.
And then proceed to be the perfect neighbor. I agree with the PP that you may want to reconsider buying there.
All I can say is "Good fences make good neighbors"... Ours are rusty Barb Wire!
We've got neighbors on one side that are great and filled me in on the neighbors on the other side - I should have listened! Tried to make nice with them (non-judgemental) and let them borrow my new tiller - which they proceeded to leave outside in the mud for over a month (was suppose to be a single-day project) and never returned it. Finally, I went over there and got it, but the handles rusted (which PO'd me because this wasn't a cheap tiller - thankfully the manufacturer covered it)...
Like others have suggested, keep a log on things. Also double-check your property line in terms of where that fence was put up along with local zoning. It's entirely possible that they're required to leave a 2' walk-space..
Do not do anything passive aggressive, absolutely start logging these events, and I would go as far as asking those people who told you about the bus incident if they'd be willing to give statements, because I think it sounds a lot like slander, and if they keep it up, I *think* you'd have legal recourse.
Normally, I'd say ignore it and move on, but she's slandering you about criminal activities, so I'd be inclined to take action. I'd get a lawyer if it happens again. She sounds completely unstable, and I'd be worried.
::overreactionpanda::