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How to have successful parties?
So I'm feeling bummed about our impending party on Saturday and want to know ya'll's advice. This is the 5th year we've thrown this party and all of them have been in October, so it's not like this is a completely unprecedented time for it. We always get odd turn-out where one year will be great and then the next year lame. Last year was the best year yet and I was hoping this year would at minimum be rival to it but it's not looking like it will be.
We sent Save the Date info a little over a month in advance so people's calendars wouldn't be full by the time we got some details hammered out. So far though, we've only had maybe 10 people out of both yes and maybe combined 
This is our Oktoberfest and this year is also our Housewarming party so people can see our new home! This is our favorite party of the year and we do it up well with lots of food and beer. What's the deal? Are our friends just lame? Are WE the lame ones?
(and this is by no means a passive-aggressive post aimed at my Nesties, please, I'm just feeling sorry for myself and want to know what's the deal?)
Re: How to have successful parties?
My thoughts are people may already have other plans. Especially on weekends, I usually am booked out more than a month in advance.
And I'm sorry you feel this way - I really hate throwing organized parties for this reason.
I honestly think it's just timing. Even if you send out STDs early on, either you can have people (like H and I) who cannot because of something else they already have planned before the STDs were sent or some people who will take note, but then totally forget and book something else and move forward with those plans (boo on those people!) or something just comes up. For H and I the weekend of (ish) Halloween and the weekend before tends to booked with various parties (although this year, it's the concert that's throwing us off).
Is it possibly the time of the party that is part of an issue? Do you have a lot of families with kids who are invited? Or is it a random mix of people (both families and people without kids) which could be causing you to try to schedule it to accomodate both parties but then possibly making it tricky for both in the end?
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do you and h have "regular" parties? throughout the year? i think this keeps people interested. h and i have an annual party, too, and we talk about it throughout the year with our friends. we verbally give out save the dates up to 6 months in advance...if not more. i think we set the date for this years at last years party.
h and i also provide lots of booze, lots of food, lots of snacks. always. we never ask anyone to BYOB...but if they want, they can..... we spend probably about $2-$300 a year for this party, if not a little more. h makes specialty drinks, we decorate, have photobooth style areas in the house with props, we have a man-cave with pop-a-shot basketball hoop, old school nintendo, a guitar, and lots and lots of various card games (but no poker, because that sucks people away from the party).
i think to get people to *come* or to set aside time from it, you need much more than 1 month notice....at least in my crowd. a threat from the scary-jennlin usually helps too
i usually post pictures of last years party to entice people...we always have great food, drinks, and snacks....it entices people..also, you have the "regulars" talk it up too. all our good friends always bring one or two friends, and that makes the crowd level higher and more fun too. invite people you don't see often..just to get them to come around...and have them bring friends. we have new people every year, and always at least one person we've never met.
last year we had about 46 people in attendance....and you've seen my house, it's not that big!! i hope to have just as many if not more this year! it's my favorite day of every single year.
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There you go - that's your problem right there, you just haven't enlisted the help of a threat from the scary Jennlin!
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Married 7/10/10
Wedding Planning Bio - Updated 6/13/2010
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Ah, that's it! Except Jennlin herself is busy.
We do have lots of friends with kids now, which is why we made the party start earlier with a "family friendly" time. We serve lots of food so people can substitute that instead of dinner at home or anything. We're only sorta-kinda byob. Since it's an Oktoberfest, we provide a mini-keg and just invite people to bring a six pack of something fun to share if they like. That always seems to be something people have enjoyed in the past as then there's a big variety to test and try. We also provide non-alcoholic cider and cocktails and full run of our liquor cabinet.
Oh well, it will be what it will be.
(And seriously, any of y'all want to come, send me a PM and I'll send you the address and info. Just don't want to post it out in free creepy interwebz land!)
A few things we've found:
1) Have more than one party per year. Then your house gets thought of as a "party house," and people will tend to talk well of parties you have
2) Don't ask people to bring anything. People will (almost always) offer, but some folks tend to be put of by requests for byob, etc.
3) Send out reminders the week before. Lots of people don't like to commit to stuff. I agree with Jennlin in having friends hype up your party.
4) Don't take it personally (this is where throwing lots of parties count). We have lots of friends who only come to one of our parties per year (we usually throw 4+), and they always have a great time and tell us so, but they had a conflict for the other parties.
Yeah, I have to work on this one!
this annoys the HECK out of me - I feel like people these days are super "well, if nothing else better comes along I'll go". 'Maybe' was never an ok response until Evite (I'm sure it's not all their fault) and it bugs me that people can't just be polite and commit. I don't know, it just seems like it's such a problem with people our age being wishy-washy (it's saying that's not a word? lol).
/rant
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