Starting Over
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
how to get over being cheated on...
I know time heals... but right now it just hurts so much.
For the past two months I set the goal of getting through one day without crying but I can't manage it.
So I set a new goal of just get through the morning without crying - still can't manage it most days.
Today, I'm off work and I can't seem to make a full hour without something popping into my head and the tears start again, I'll calm down and retouch my makeup only to start again 1/2 an hour later (can you overdose on Visine??)
My Dr gave me a counselor rec and I've called twice but only got to voice mail so until then can you give me any advice?
thanks
Re: how to get over being cheated on...
Don't try to stop yourself from crying. Just go ahead and cry as much as you need to. You will never "get over it." It will always bother you. But with time and reflection/therapy you will not be so upset by it.
We're kind of going out.
I agree, counseling and time. Someone told me at this time last year when I cried every.single.day and could barely get out of bed each day that it's like the flu. You feel really bad for a while and then one day when you least suspect it, you'll feel a little better. And it gradually gets better from there.
I'm sorry you, me and anyone else has had to contend with the hurt caused by a cheating spouse. ((hugs))
This, exactly. I remember feeling really proud of myself for simply showering before putting my pjs back on and returning to bed where I fell apart again. Get a good counselor and take care of yourself, however you see fit. I wrote a lot and now I read back on some of that and cannot believe how far I've come. Be easy on yourself and know you're not alone.
I recently ran into this issue. After no return calls, I just went to my health care provider website and searched for counselors in my area, I just called a whole bunch until I actually reached a person who could get me an appt. GL, it will get better!
The big thing for me was realizing that it was nothing about me that caused my XH to cheat. There was nothing I was lacking, nothing I could have done. It was all about him. And that took a lot of counseling and some antidepressants and a few self-help books!
I was more angry than anything so I didn't go through the cry all the time phase. I cried at random things like buying new bedding and such.
But something that my aunt said worked for her (per her therapists suggestion) was that when she would get upset, she "schedule" time the next day for a pity party. She'd tell herself, "I don't have time for this now, but tomorrow at 2 I do." And she'd write "Pity Party" on her calendar the next day at 2. Then when she saw that appointment the next day she usually didn't care to even have the pity party anymore -- it helped her realize that she could get past the sad time and continue on with her life.
If I was at home, I would just let myself cry - take a hot shower.. be by myself.
check out survivinginfidelity dot com
I found that site very helpful...I felt less alone on that site.
Counseling, time, confidence
After a lot of hard work I realized that I was an amazing person (If I do say so myself!) and a man that was willing to throw that away is not worth my time.