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How to get DH on board?
I guess this is more of a relationship question, but the relationship-related boards were filled with off-topic stuff, and this is also a cleaning-related question!
I'm a newlywed and my husband and I have now lived together for two months at our new apartment. I like having "a place for everything and everything in its place," or even if it's not in its place, at least I know where it's supposed to go and can put it away. DH is not that way. Every day, he gets dressed by pulling his still-wrinkled clothes out of the laundry basket. He forgets about the ones that I actually put in drawers or hung in the closet. Although we have a coffee table, he's in the habit of leaving half-empty glasses of juice on the floor next to the couch and rarely takes them to the kitchen. We have a designated area for "big garbage" (large bottles, cardboard containers, etc.) next to our garbage can, and I know he knows that's where it's supposed to go, because sometimes he actually puts the big garbage there... other times he just leaves empty containers on the kitchen table or the living room floor or wherever. As a kid, I was always taught to clean up my own messes, and I will teach my future children the same. How can I get my husband to clean up HIS own messes? I'm not asking him to vacuum or clean the toilet... just pick up his darn mountain dew cans and at least designate a place for his laundry! Is that too much to ask? I feel like the response is going to be, "Oh honey, this is marriage, get used to it." Really, though? Really?!
Re: How to get DH on board?
As you settle into married life you will begin to get used to your husbands antics as well as he will get used to how you like things. Eventually you will be able to compromise on where/when things need to happen. It's taken me 2 years to impart to my husband (we lived together before we were married) that dirty dishes do not belong on the table or randomly through out the house, but in the dishwasher. And hamper...forget about it! I've compromised that he can randomly leave his clothes on the floor but it has to be on his side of the bed only (where I can't ussually see it since I sleep closest to the door).
Remember, you are both settling into living with another person and it will take time to adjust both your expectations and your break down of who does what chores. This is part of why people say marriage is hard work!
Pick your battles. Obviously your husband wasn't raised the same way you were and cleanliness doesn't mean as much to him. What bugs you more, the cans, the trash, etc? Like Salty mentioned, DH won't put his clothes in the dirty clothes unless he's getting in the shower (a basket is right next to the shower) so I keep an extra basket on his side of the bed, sometimes his clothes make it in there and other times I spend 10 seconds and put them in there. Remind him where things go (DON'T NAG, HE WILL TUNE YOU OUT) and thank him when he does things your way. I straighten up every night before bed and sometimes I'll ask DH to help me. He leaves a couples of dishes out (if he was cutting something he'll almost always leave the cutting board and knife out) and sometimes a beer can will sit on the counter instead of going in the recycle bin (which drives me bonkers because the trash can is in the cabinet literally right under where he leaves them), but he doesn't leave huge messes all over and the things he does leave out takes me maybe a total of 5 minutes per day (and that's aiming super high) to put away.
Just ask him to put his drink on the coffee table so it doesn't get kicked over, when you're done with something that causes large garbage, ask "will you please go put this where the large garbage goes for me" as if he's doing you a favor so you don't have to do it.
Last but not least, sit down and talk to him about it. Don't attack him or how he was raised, like salty said, it's a lot to get used to being married to someone.
DH and I split up the house prior to moving getting married. His "rooms" kitchen, bathrooms, and spare bedroom, I have living room, dining room and master..So if he leaves his dishes in the living room, I bring them to the sink..he needs to put them in the dishwasher. I do all the laundry, so if he wants it done he needs it to be in the hamper and to bring the hamper down out of the bathroom to the laundry room in the basement. etc..
No on gets upset because WE TALKED ABOUT IT! We still are adapting 3 years later! But we talk about it. Both have to understand that we have to live together.
TIME For YOUR TALK!
You know, I had a similar problem with DH when we first got married and moved in together. He's a fairly clean person but left little things out here and there pretty regularly that just drove me nuts. I didn't say anything to him though, but rather put these things away daily. He pretty quickly catched on that I was putting the stuff away, felt bad, and started putting it away on his own.