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And India is back on the table! Yikes!
DH came home at 11:00ish last night and we were discussing our day with each other. I asked him how is big meeting went. Our conservation went like this:
DH: "It looks like India is back on the table."
DRJ: "Wait, I thought it was off the table."
DH: "It's back on and were going to meet in 2.5 weeks to reassess. Essentially, DM (the head guy) looked at the four heads (DH and three other people) and said 'who is going to go?' It will be an interesting and exciting opportunity."
DRJ: "So when would this occur?"
DH: "Mid-next year"
DRJ: "And we need to decide in 2.5 weeks!?"
DH: "Pretty much."
Okay, what to do?? I didn't sleep well. Essentially it would be for two years to set up the India office. The company has an office in India, so it would not be from scratch, but still.
The details I have at the moment:
-Two years
-Mumbai, India
That's it. DH said, and I do know this, we could most likely negotiate of getting special health care, but they are a smaller company (2,000 employees world-wide). We would not be getting a golden package -- I don't have any details regarding that stuff yet. Although, we would make sure we won't lose money on the deal.
Here are my concerns.
-I lose my job
-We are trying to have a baby. I would be okay with a baby in India, but I am concerned about giving birth there.
-Would I just be alone all day without any sort of network? I have no idea of expat communities, etc.
-Travel costs back to America to visit family. I would want them to cover one trip per year.
-It would be an amazing opportunity.
Of the four of them, DH knows that two will not go because of their wives and little kids. The other one is in Singapore finishing setting up that office, so he is a maybe and then there is us.
I didn't sleep well. I just kept thinking about London, NYC and India. Essentially, I had created a plan and he has thrown me for a loop.
I don't even know what to say or what direction to lean it. I see both the cons and pros, and honestly, I need more information.
Any thoughts? Comments? What would you do?
Re: And India is back on the table! Yikes!
Oh my gosh! No wonder you didn't sleep. I have no idea what I would do, except I'm normally in the camp of, 'take the most interesting opportunity life throws at you'. So much of it depends on what the company can offer you, though. BritLuna is pregnant in India, so maybe she can provide some insight on that.
Good luck trying to decide!
I'm afraid I can't give much useful advice since it completely depends on what kind of people you are (adventurous? ok with a lower standard of living?). As with you, I would be worried about having a baby in India, but that's how I used to feel about Germany, too. After my experience here and hearing about the other bumpies' experiences, now I don't want to have any of my future kids in the US!
For me a big factor would be my job. Are you in a branch that is in high demand now? How long did you have to look to find your current job? How long have you been there already? Do you love it? Would they be willing to consider giving you an extended leave of absence and hiring someone for the 2 years you'd be gone? What are the chances you'd be able to find something else when you came back if they aren't?
I also think the travel condition is reasonable. I know my father's company does that for its overseas employees (pays for 1 trip a year).
Whatever you decide, keep us in the loop!
Wow, India would be really cool. Here in Indonesia I have met people that have lived all over the world and a few from India, it is pretty similar to living here by all accounts, maids, nannies and drivers are normal, as with big nice houses. There is a great expat community that is easy to join and everyone has come away with positive stories.
However the negatives are similar to here too, lots of traffic, pollution, everything is dirty, poverty is right in your face and there is a lot of corruption. Having a baby somewhere like that is a very personal decision and one that we are dealing with here at the moment, is there any reason you can't fly home and have the baby there? At least we have the option to go to Singapore which is really close for us.
Best of luck with your decision.
ETA: Most people I know get one trip home a year as part of the contract, and fully paid health care anywhere in the world including flights.
Personally, on the baby front I'd be opposite of you. Having the baby wouldn't be a problem (India is a medical tourist destination for westerners, after all) but raising it there would freak me out.
Just my 2 cents.
After my experience so far with prenatal care in India, at Apollo Hospital, one touted as being renowned for medical tourism, I will do everything in my power to actually give birth in the US.
I do not think that the prenatal care itself is much different than elsewhere. I have had the same tests and generally the same care as my doctor in the US outlined, but I have doubts about the sanitary conditions of the hospital. I have had blood drawn many times while resting my arm on a blood spattered counter and I have noticed that I am the only patient in the room that they wear gloves for. I have blogged about my experience in the hospital here some, but I would not say that my blog accurately reflects my feelings on my experience; it is framed in an extremely positive light to keep my family from worrying about me. At the very least, I would ensure that your H's company would make provisions for you to go home if you felt uncomfortable with being pregnant/giving birth here.
On the other hand, I would not have any qualms about raising a child here. There are great international schools and it is such an awesome venue for a child to learn about a different culture.
Duke's House: Eating and Running with the Big Dog in Chennai: eatrunbrit.com
2010 Race PRs:
5K - 24:57 10M - 1:28:20 13.1M - 1:57:29 26.2M - 4:28:29
As a follow-up to my pregnancy in India response...
I think that India is a really unique and exciting place to live. It is obviously much different than anywhere else and I have had a positive experience overall so far. Especially at first, it was very difficult for me to routinely see the level of poverty that I see on a daily basis here, but with time I chosen not to let it affect me.
Our apartment here is as nice as our house at home, although it is significantly more expensive. I would take care to make sure that you see your housing before you agree to it and that the company will agree to maintaining a similar housing standard to what you are used to. We also have a driver (I recommend negotiating for two or at least one full-time, one half-time), a housekeeper, and the option (that we do not exercise) to have a cook.
In Chennai anyway, the expat network is pretty good and outside of standard activities like expat meetups, I have met quite a few expats though activities like yoga class. I would imagine that this is even easier in Mumbai.
An assignment in India would not only give you an opportunity to explore India, but it is also extremely well located to visit Southeast Asia in general. I have really enjoyed this unexpected travel perk.
Duke's House: Eating and Running with the Big Dog in Chennai: eatrunbrit.com
2010 Race PRs:
5K - 24:57 10M - 1:28:20 13.1M - 1:57:29 26.2M - 4:28:29
No wonder you didn't sleep well! It definitely sounds to me like you are the most likely candidates for the post...
My impression of expat living in this type of country is that there are existing expat communities/organisations that are quite active. I could be wrong though.
I would also assume a very high standard of living, including drivers and the like as the cost of living is so different to Europe (again, basing myself on other people's experiences in similar countries).
To me the two major issues are the baby (also would worry about giving birth there) and your job: would it be a possibility to find a job over there? How hard would it be for you to get back into your trade after a two year break?
On the other hand, were you planning to go back to work directly after baby or were you taking a break anyway? In which case, that would be a wonderful opportunity to do it.
Also, you say you are ttc now, so with a bit of luck (fingers crossed btw!) the giving birth factor might not be one...
I don't know. It does sound like something really interesting for your H career wise and for the both of you life experience wise. I would be very tempted to go for it after some good negotiations regarding housing/benefits and travel costs cover.
Best of luck with your decision and sorry I added more questions than answers to the mix!
Yikes! That would throw me through a loop as well.
In my experience I find it best to let the decision sit for a bit. Don't push it. First of all, surprises always throw me off and upset me. Let the initial shock wear off. Secondly, I find that if I let things marinate awhile one choice seems to become more clear.
Maybe just think about it for a few days. Over the weekend you guys can sit down together and discuss pros and cons. Hopefully you'll both come to the same conclusion.
Thanks, Ladies. You have given me some things to think about and special thanks to Brit! I may have some questions for you later if that is okay.
I agree regarding the health care and the trip back to the US once per year and I think we could come to an agreement. Ideally, if DH is paid his salary in pounds then we should be fine ? DH thought we might be able to work it so we get 1/3 salary in rubies, 2/3 in pounds and his stock options would be in USD. Although it might be a tad confusing for me!
DH needs to figure out what this would mean for his career.
As for my career, I was planning on taking a year or two off anyway when we have kids. I work in the charity sector as a fundraiser and project manager. Honestly, I have built up my career to the point where I can take a few years off. It is common in my field as it is fairly female dominated and not uncommon to take a few years off.
Rpics, I completely agree about taking the more interesting route! This just totally took me for a loop! It sounds like we would move fall of next year and move back to the US fall of 2014.
I would hope to spend at least two months out of the year in the US (December and July) which means I would actually spend more time with our families than I do know. DH would spend less, but it has always been that way.
My bigger issue is ex-pat groups and having activities to do during the day. I need to do some more resource, but I think this could be doable especially if his company meets us half-way.
I really appreciate the opportunity to vent and get advice from you ladies!
I will do my best to give candid answers to any question you ask.
ExpatJen was an awesome resource for me when we were considering this move. I think that she did have her baby in India and from what I gather, she views the "nice" hospitals here in a different light than I do, so it is definitely worth seeking out her perspective on that. Regardless, I think it would offer peace of mind to know that you had an exit clause for pregnancy just in case you wanted to exercise it.
ETA: On the healthcare front, it is fairly inexpensive here. Supposedly we have "insurance" here, but I have not yet figured out how to file a claim to my US based insurance company. It doesn't really matter anyway. I pay my doctor about $10 for each prenatal visit. My anatomy ultrasound was about $30.
Considering that price point, I don't think it is even worth the hassle of me sitting on hold with an insurance company in the US trying to explain what they should pay me for and why.
Duke's House: Eating and Running with the Big Dog in Chennai: eatrunbrit.com
2010 Race PRs:
5K - 24:57 10M - 1:28:20 13.1M - 1:57:29 26.2M - 4:28:29
I wouldnt' worry about the expat part - it's huge in India - you will meet tons of Americans, Brits, Australians, etc. I would move to India if it was on offer and we could afford it.
You might want your DH to ask the company to direct you to wives who have done the move and had children there - they may also be able to give you a better perspective on giving birth and who you'd hang out with (this is assuming that it all happens as planned, which sometimes it doesn't).
India is amazing. I was there on a short work assignment and am so glad I participated for the experience. I do understand your reservations for the long-term, however.
Brit - do you bring/use your own needles to the hospital if and when you guys need an injection?
Yeah that's right my name's Yauch!
I've been thinking about this post all day! I'm totally not an expert, but I just got back from two weeks in India. Ever since moving to Scotland, I can't go on a trip somewhere without considering if it's a place I would live so it's something we were talking about (just for fun! There aren't any opportunities for DH there) over dinner one night. Honestly, I think I'd find it really, really hard. I thought India was amazing - it's so different and I loved the clothing (shallow, I know) and the temples and countryside and food was amazing... but it was just all really hard. I'm assuming we would get used to certain things if we did live there, but I really did have a hard time.
Honestly though, if the opportunity is a good one for your husband, and it works for you financially and you're up for the adventure, I think it's possible to live anywhere for a couple years! I can't believe we've been here for almost 6 already. I think I would want to make sure I had someone in India to help me with everything - I found the bargaining really difficult (I'm terrible at it) and I would definitely want 2 drivers and some household help. We didn't go to Mumbai, but it's a huge international city and Im sure there's an expat community there. Have you ever been to India?
Good luck with your decision!! This might be rather perfect timing for you to have this sort of opportunity since hopefully you'd be taking a couple years off soon anyway.
BFP Apr 2012, EDD Dec 19 2012 * twin h/b at 6wk, 9wk scan * Baby A lost at 12wks, Baby B was my rainbow born at 36wks
I don't know if you're still looking at this or not, but I just read some of the responses on the MM board. I think it's funny how on this board most of the responses have been talking about it being exciting, offering you a positive take on the situation or wishing you luck. On MM it seems like so many of the posters are firmly in the "No way in hell" camp.
I should add that no matter how much I would like an adventure, my decision would completely depend on the type of financial and support package we got.
I had my first baby in India in a very nice, brand new hospital. I know lots of Americans that have had their babies in India and also some that have traveled to Bangkok, Thailand to deliver at Bumrungrad International Hospital- one of the best in the world and much easier than traveling back to the States for delivery.
PM me if you have any questions. I had such a great experience in India the first time around we are considering moving back again!