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Thoughts on a shower for a 2nd marriage

What are your thoughts on having a bridal shower for a bride who has already been down the aisle? As background, this is the groom's first wedding, bride's first wedding was about 6 years ago, she has a toddler and her and the groom already live together in a fully stocked house.

Re: Thoughts on a shower for a 2nd marriage

  • Personally, I wouldn't have one, but I might do a very casual cook out or something inviting couples. Not a traditional bridal shower where there is a big registry and its all women and you play silly games and drink punch.
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  • I don't really care - we had a shower even though we were both in our late 30's and owned homes and presumably already owned pots, pans, towels, dishes, etc. I don't really see the harm in celebrating someone's impending marriage w/ gifts.  If individuals are offended by it, I assume they won't attend.  People like to have parties and will take any excuse to have one, so I really don't see the harm.

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  • I guess it depends on how it is being handled...  It can be done very tastefully or it could be a total gift grab.     

    I was a second time bride and my family threw me a second shower.  Granted, my situation was slightly different from the posted situation.  I left my abusive first marriage with nothing but my clothes and my cat.   As far as I know, no one raised any eyebrows over it.  But, my family likes to pretend that my first marraige didn't ever happen. 

    Alternately, my sister remarried later in life after having a couple kids.  She and her husband-to-be were fairly well established.  I decided to host a cocktail party "shower" in their honor with a stock the bar theme.  People brought a bottle of wine or a bottle of liquor.  And, I have to admit, some of those got cracked open before the evening was over.  We had a great time, and everyone really enjoyed it. 

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  • imagemrs. remy:
    Personally, I wouldn't have one, but I might do a very casual cook out or something inviting couples. Not a traditional bridal shower where there is a big registry and its all women and you play silly games and drink punch.

    This is what I would do too.

  • I think it's a bit tacky in this situation. It would be one thing if the first marriage was short, or did not produce children. When I say tacky, I mean the traditional bridal shower with games, etc. It would be more tasteful to have a barbeque or stock-the-bar/cocktail party or even a party to announce their engagement.
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  • Ditto PP - I think it completely depends on how it is handled.  Cookout, stock the bar, celebrate the upcoming nuptials, etc - completely fine. 

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  • imagemrsbecky07:

    Ditto PP - I think it completely depends on how it is handled.  Cookout, stock the bar, celebrate the upcoming nuptials, etc - completely fine. 

    Yup, pretty much this.  There's a nuanced difference between a gift-grabby, AW shower (for wedding or baby or anything) and a party to celebrate a big life moment which may or may not involve gifts.  I can't give you a list of what makes either situation but you know it when you see it. (Making 2nd showers kinda like porn? Hmm)

  • I was a second time bride (this is DH's first marriage, though).  My first marriage ended amicably and we did not have children together (we got married fairly young, and were married for about two years).  Six years later, DH and I got married. I did not want a shower, but my friends insisted on it (which was very thoughtful and sweet of them).  In lieu of a "traditional" shower, we went to a local tea house, which was so nice.  I really enjoyed the day, and it made me feel so good knowing people were genuinely happy for me (and DH) and wanted to celebrate our special time with us.  
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  • Gift grabby parties can happen whether it's a first or second marriage, a first or second child. Gift grabby behavior is distasteful no matter what. Celebrating an exciting time in a person's life is not. IMO, of course. 

    I'm also fully supportive of baby showers for children who are not the first born.

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