Sex & Romance
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Need help connecting on many levels
Good Morning Ladies! Its only Tuesday but I hope your week is going well so far. I need some advice, as much as I hate to admit what a prude I can be when it comes to sex I really need to spice things up. My husband has an overactive sex drive and lately with financial stresses we have had and other issues going on, we seem to have forgotten how to connect and we have sex maybe twice a month. I thought that maybe getting a sex game or book may help but I have no clue what is actually considered a good one. We have bought the little corny games you buy at the mall and they did nothing but just give us a good laugh. We went to Barnes and Noble yesterday but those are just sex positions guides. Does anyone have any suggestions? Thank you ladies!
Re: Need help connecting on many levels
You dont have to buy anything to spice things up.
You can put on a show for him and touch yourself (bonus: you benefit from it too because you learn about what you like).
Role playing.
Maybe you want to go over to the moneymatters board and post your budget to help alleviate some of whatever financial stress you are encountering.
One. . . stop buying all these books. You are just going to laugh at them and wonder why you bought all this corny stuff!
Two. . . looks like someone needs to meet up with Ms. Kitty. Not talking about DH but YOU! Time to explore yourself and see what it is you like. Trust, it makes sex so much better that you know yourself better.
Three. . .don't plan the attack together. You plan your attack Ms. Lioness. You want to make sure you attack that gazelle of a man. Greet him at the door with his shirt on you or just wait until he gets home and pull a "Pretty woman". (The scene when he comes home and she has the table waiting for him and she is naked in heels and a man's tie. I want to try that myself!)
You are a sexy beast and your husband knows it which is why he wants you like crazy. You just need to realize it within yourself. Have fun and tell us the outcomes. (I am so hoping this is plural and not singular)
I agree with the last poster.
To help, think sexy thoughts during the day. Think about what gets you off during sex. What is it that your DH does to you that sends you over the edge?
Being nude. Who doesn't enjoy being nude? Doesn't it make you think sexy thoughts? Like the last poster said, meet him at the door wearing only one of his shirts, leave it unbuttoned. Or, meet him nude at the door and tell him he has work to do because you are horny and he needs to do something about it!! Being nude will put you in the mood. Be as nude as you can as much as you can. Most of the time, once he sees you nude for a few minutes, you won't need to do anything else!!
Keep it simple. us guys are simple creatures. We don't need much to get us going. A nice long french kiss when you or he gets home. If you use condoms, leave one in his sock drawer with a dirty note telling him what you would like to do with it!! If you like lingerie, sit down with him at your computer and look through websites that sell sexy stuff and ask him what he would like to see you in. You can do the same with him. Find stuff you would like him to wear and ask him if he would wear it for you!!
Just be yourself though. Don't get too complicated just try simple stuff.
Let us know what you do or did that helped.
Hunter
How about talking to each other about things you'd like to try, sharing fantasies, etc? BF and I will start a talk about positions or situations we'd like to try and whenever we're actually around each other it usually gets us in the mood!
I have read a bunch of articles that say thinking about sex throughout the day, maybe a text or email (if it won't get him/you in trouble at work!) describing what you'd like to do with him later, will help you get sex back on your brain and get you more in the mood.
I'm sorry you're experiencing financial issues. Maybe setting aside a time to talk and strategize about them and/or a time when it's completely off the table will help the stress from taking you over.
Good luck and have fun!
I definitely try to surprise and delight my H. I know that things to get stressful with our busy schedules.. Being newlyweds and such.. preparing for the future. (Been together almost 4 yrs.) ANYWAY!!!
When I'm thinking "dirtyyy", and he is being a Lame-o.. sitting on the couch, watching sports and zoning out.. I try to walk past him naked, or in my barely-there panties. If he isn't paying attention to me like I want him to, I definitely bring it to his attention in a nice way... like.. "see, i just did a little dance for you and you didn't even notice" then kinda smile or wink at him.
This may spice things up a little bit and there is nothing wrong with being flirtatious in your own place! Tell him to come into the shower and stand there, holding each other naked. Maybe lay down naked, while cuddling. I like when my man is completely naked, spooning me. That definitely turns up the heat!
Try to be fun and not work too hard at it. We all need to "live it up" a little and when things are rough with the sex life, try to remember that there will be those times and act silly while you can. Making your man smile is important whether you have "sex" or not.
Since you mentioned that your H has an overactive sex drive... try to please him by doing little things here and there for him. Stretch across your living room floor with your butt in the air. Then look behind you and see if he is peeking. I always flirtatiously tell my H. I see you looking at my butt. and then smile.
Men like that. It's okay to experiment with what YOU are comfortable doing