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Bringing Home Baby Drama already....
Long, sigh. If you've been around here awhile, you know I'm very non-dramatic. But, somehow my entire life is full of drama queens. And, sometimes, I need to vent!
DH's brother and family live about 7 hours away. Background: the last time they visited was in August; they stay at our house when they come. There was drama. They were loud. BIL/SIL fight like cats and dogs, etc. SIL said they want to be here when the baby is born, but that they'd stay at FIL's house so as not to bother us. She said this to me of her own free thought last time they were here.
Last night, she emails me. Wants a reminder of the due date so they can make arrangements to come, blah blah blah. And implied they were staying at our house. I really don't want to bring the baby home to a full house for multiple reasons. Without coming out and saying that, I politely responded that they're more than welcome to come meet baby. But that we will most likely have wonky sleep schedules, and not be up to hosting duties, etc. So, I'm sure they'd be more comfortable at FIL's or a hotel. (this works both ways for us and them, as they have a 6 year old I'm sure they won't want to be shushing all day.) This morning, she replies that they're ok with a crying baby (which I hadn't even mentioned a crying baby, it was more about us and comfort) and that if we just didn't WANT them to stay, that I need to let her know. Making it all dramatical. (not to mention this was HER idea originally, to come and stay at FILs)
So, I'm gonna just tell her that we don't want to bring the baby home to a full house. Which I guess is what I should have done to begin with. I was just trying to be nice. And she clearly got the "hint", she just doesn't like it....and she's a biatch. DH is pissed and wants to tell them to just not come. Am I over reacting in not wanting a bunch of people around all the time right away? This gripe doesn't even mention MIL....who will be around at this time too. And all of them together is just ridiculous amounts of drama. This crowd is high maintenace. I don't want to be made to feel like I have to provide meals/entertain. I don't want everyone telling me what to do and how to do it....I want to learn our new baby ourselves a bit first. I think any normal person would/should respect that. Right?
Re: Bringing Home Baby Drama already....
I experienced something similar with DH's brother around our wedding. It sucks, but I firmly put my foot down. They'll get over it.
You will absolutely not want a large crowd at your house when you bring home your sweet baby. Heck, you might not even want a small crowd! As soon as we brought DD home, we had my mom and DH's dad there already telling us how to do stuff.
As far as the bolded part, unfortunately it sounds like your in-laws are not normal people, so I think you're going to have to be very straightforward with them
Good luck!
How is it that my BABY is going to be 3?
BFP-2/25/11; 8 Wk U/S-3/25/11-No HB, measured 6.5 wks; D&C
I am already hyperventilating from the memories this brings up.
The simple answer is no no no no no no no no no no. And also, no.
You are not obligated to host guests when you return home from the hospital. And anyone that feels that they should be welcome in someone's home when that person has just given birth should be shut down like a bad tv show. It also irritates me when people start trying to plan around your due date when you could reasonably give birth on time within a month timespan.
I warned DH that when his family was buying all their tickets convinced that I would 'go early' that I could very well go late and they'd all be showing up the day we got home from the hospital. Sure enough, I was 10 days late and his mom was here by the end of our first week while I was still hobbling around on percocet and puffy from 3 bags of fluids. Then she proceeded to tell me, several times, an 'unrelated' story about how she went to visit her youngest sister after her nephew was born with similar bad timing and how she barely recognized her sister because of how bad she looked. Um, thanks. I totally believe you weren't saying that about me.
Anyway, do not feel bad in the least. You should not have people in your home when you bring your baby home even if THEY don't 'mind'. It's your home and your new family and you are not obligated to oblige them in the least.