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House buying...
I have noticed more and more that my friends stateside are really intense about wanting to buy a house before having kids or just that buying a house is the next big step. Is this an American thing?
I feel like people here care less about buying a house (possibly because the housing market is astronomically more expensive here than in TX). I feel like I am not interested in buying a house more because I don't know if we want to live in Paris for the long-haul or if we want to do the expat thing somewhere else or even think about living in the US. Does being an expat make you think harder about buying a house and setting down permanent roots in an area? Even more so for the couples of mixed nationalities? Do most of you want to follow the job,marriage, house, babies life plan (in that order)?
Re: House buying...
Most of my friends in Canada did it: job, house, wedding, baby...
We did it: jobs, wedding, baby... no house yet, we'd like to buy but we can't just yet. Once we buy, if we ever decide to move again, we would probably keep it as an investment property.
Of our friends here, only two couples and my SIL own their own home. Others live in second apartments of their parents or grandparents and others rent. Most of our friends here have done it: jobs, baby, house (a few), wedding (a few).
When we were in Vietnam it would have been impossible before having M to buy property there. Now that we have M we can buy in his name though because he was born there.
We went to Korea for the financial benefit so that we can save enough for a house. Now that we are back in the UK, we have our house up for sale. (It's tiny.) I thought we would settle here...until DH dropped a bomb a few days ago and said are you sure you want to settle here? Oh, the expat life makes this discision of settling down so much more difficult. So, we may rent for a short time if we are still in limbo.
As for people in the US, I know a few families who could not buy until later when they already had a few kids. And I have some single friends in their 30's who felt that the financial investment was important, versus waiting for marriage.
Here in the UK the need to buy a house strikes me very similar to the States.
We bought a house here not necessarily because we thought we would stay here forever, but mostly because we figured that money we would pay for rent could be better spent in making it our own home. We saw it as an investment that would later help us buy the home we really want (where ever we happen to decide to live permanently). It also helped that the housing market here is quite affordable. I don't think we would have been able to do this in France or in the US.
Most of our friends here have also done job, marriage, house, babies.
I think that a lot of people in the US (and probably Canada and the UK as well from what I've seen) focus on home ownership as something to be attained even when it doesn't make financial sense--especially when you consider that over the past 30 years 65-75% of Americans would have been better off renting than buying*. I tend to think that the tax breaks the US government offers for owners of their primary residence exacerbates the problem.
We'll probably never own our primary residence again because in our situation, it just doesn't make financial or logistical sense. That being said, with property prices being as low as they are in Florida right now, we're in the process of buying a property there to hold onto for the next 40 years or so. We've been having a lot of trouble investing our money because foreign firms don't want to deal with Americans and most American ones don't want to deal with Americans who don't live in the country, so we really need somewhere to put some cash that isn't a savings account.
*source: http://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2011/07/for-the-past-30-years-renting-was-generally-better-than-buying/242308/
I think buying a house before kids is an American thing. If I was home now, that's definitely how we would handle it. We are actually here in Belgium bc of the opportunity to save for a house.
People I have met here do not seem to care about owning their own home. Most are here temporarily so, of course, they will rent. The Belgian people I know seem to rent bc its too expensive to buy a flat in the cities, or they need to live in a specific area where there are not houses.
I would like to follow the plan - job, marriage, house, and babies. But if we are staying here for another 2 years or so, I think it would be job, marriage, babies, and then house. Not ideal as I would prefer to be settled in a home pre-baby, but I also do not want to wait until DH is ready to move back. I could be waiting forever then...
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My husband owned an apartment in NY since he was around 24 or so. He is on his second and third apartments now. I don't know that I would have owned until I was close to 40 if left to my own devices. I don't feel like it's as great as everyone makes it out to be; and I value my flexibility and independence and ability to drop everything and move in a month if necessary (which I have done a few times).
I'm honestly a bit sad that he owns a place since if we return to NY, that is likely where we would live. We could just rent elsewhere and continue to rent out his apartments, but that is unlikely. I wish we could have bought a house together, or at least that I was able to buy one on my own. I feel like I lost out on an important part of being an independent adult since that is one decision I'll never be able to make on my own now.
I have no interest in owning anything. Financially, it doesn't make sense for us (flats in Edinburgh are actually way more expensive to own than to rent and there's a weird thing where you then own part of the building and have to pay to maintain it). Honestly, I love being flexible and not having to deal with fixing things! We're not planning on buying anytime soon and we've been renting for 9 years now. Financially, we're better off than our friends in the states who own.
And yes, I think most people in the states work towards home ownership quicker than I see here but I also know mostly academics who move every few years so I don't have a fair assessment.
BFP Apr 2012, EDD Dec 19 2012 * twin h/b at 6wk, 9wk scan * Baby A lost at 12wks, Baby B was my rainbow born at 36wks