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Help Us

I need some insight and a compromise. 

H winds down by watching tv and would really like to watch TV in bed.  I cannot get to sleep with a tv on.  I need more sleep than he does.  The first 9 weeks of school, I would go to the bedroom and read at 8:00 to wind down, and would go to bed between 9 and 10 while H stayed in the living room watching TV until he was tired.  But he doesn't think it's fair to him to be sequestered on the couch every night (which I understand and agree with) and we miss cuddling some in bed.

Is there a way we can compromise?  Should one of us just suck it up and kowtow to the other one?  Or is the way we have it the best it's going to get?  I'm up for any and all suggestions. 

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Re: Help Us

  • Maybe he can watch hulu/a movie on a laptop with headphones.  This way you won't hear whatever he is watching and you can sleep.  HTH!
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  • We had the same problem when I first moved in with Steve. He needs the tv on to fall asleep too and at first it drove me nuts. Eventually I got used to it. I will say though, when we are at his mom's house with no tv in the bedroom we use the nightstand app on Steve's ipad and play celtic women to fall asleep to... best sleep ever.

    Maybe the two of you can compromise and just have music playing?

  • http://www.amazon.com/Sony-MDR-IF240RK-Wireless-Headphone-System/dp/B000095SB4

    If you could hold out till Christmas, it'd be a great gift idea.

    FWIW, we're sort of the same way. I like to wind down with quiet things, M likes the TV. M usually watches TV downstairs and he doesn't mind. He always comes up and tucks me in and cuddles for a bit when I'm going to bed then goes back down to watch whatever. The exception is on the weekends - I don't mind him watching TV in bed because I don't have to get up as early.

  • We are pretty much the same way as Kate. Matt always comes into bed to kiss me good night and lay down for a bit. Then he goes back to the living room to watch tv. He also requires far less sleep than I do and will stay up for hours after I go to bed.

    My dad had the wireless headphones and they helped my mom sleep better.

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  • We both have to have the TV on to sleep.  My mom got my step dad wireless headphones and it works really well for them.
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  • I'm the same way... can't sleep with tv or music... but those headphone thingies do help... used to use them with J... and they work great.
  • Is it the noise or the light that bothers you?

    If it's just the noise, then the headphones are a great idea. That would still be a no go for me, because I can't handle the light and/or the flickering colors. But then, I can't even have an alarm clock or anything of the like because the slightest glow feels like a 40 watt bulb. 

    Right now, there are often times I go to bed first. M is working rather late on school, then he still need some chill time before going to bed. It just doesn't bother either of us to go to bed at different times anymore. He has no problem laying on the couch to watch TV. (Personally, I don't like watching TV from a bed anyway. Totally uncomfortable, IMO.) He still gets in bed a snuggles me... which doesn't fully wake me. 

    Maybe you can let him do his thing and snuggle you when he comes to bed...which doesn't answer the part about your H being stuck on the couch. The only other thing I can think of is if you have a 2nd bedroom/office. If so you could put a daybed or futon in there for him to lounge on while watching TV.

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  • I got a really heavy duty sleep mask as a way to help with this a while ago and I love it, but it's still the noise that keeps me up.  If I can hear it, then I feel the need to pay attention to it, which keeps me awake.  And the cuddling for a few minutes wouldn't work for me because I generally can't get to sleep in just a few minutes, it takes a while.  And if Lincoln is in bed with me, I generally don't get to sleep until after he does because of his tossing and turning (but he's generally out like a light so it's not too terrible). 

    Thanks for the input ladies.  And the link for the headphones.  Those will probably be our best solution. 

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