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Is this rude or am I overreacting?
Two weeks ago Saturday was a party for my two nephews in the US. We didn't go, but when FIL was here in August I gave him gifts for my nephews. Two nice books on London as well s Hamleys 'London in a bag' and a puzzle. A book and a toy for each boy -- ages now three and five.
I know that they received the gifts as the boys loved the guards and police in the London in a bag, but I have yet to hear a word from SIL. Nothing... not a thank you or anything. I would have email the very next day, but that's just me.
We only know they received the gifts because we asked my ILs if they remembered to bring them to the party and they did. We know the boys liked them, but do you think it's odd that we haven't gotten a thank you. And by thank you, I don't even mean a note, a quick email will suffice.
Am I overreacting? Is this rude?
Re: Is this rude or am I overreacting?
It is rude on their part, but I find it a bit odd that you are thinking about it so much. I'm not sure if I've gotten a thank you for every gift I've ever given someone because it's not really something I keep track of.
Is it possible they are doing notes to everyone and it just hasn't gotten to the UK yet? I'd give them the benefit of the doubt and just try to forget it.
Okay, thanks. I am thinking about it because last year we didn't get a thank you for their gifts either. I also just sent a beer making kit as a house-warming gift to my cousin and have also yet to hear a response.
I am not thinking about it a lot, but I do think a thank you in a timely fashion is important and reflects good manners. I think this is especially important if the gift givers were unable to attend and made the effort to send a gift.
Since it has only been 2 weeks, I would agree with PP about maybe the boys are writing the notes themselves or that it hasn't come to the UK yet. But if its been like a month and you don't hear anything I would think its rude. I was raised to write thank you notes, but I guess I don't really expect them back from people. Not everyone was raised that way.
For example, I sent my cousin a present when she had her son - diapers and a few cute outfits (mailed to them from Target since they are in TX and I am in Belgium) and heard NOTHING. Not a thank you, not even an aknowledgement that they got the gifts! At least I could check the tracking online...
I plan to make my children write thank you notes, I know they kinda suck but they do make me want to give presents more. It's always nice to be thanked and appreciated!
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Personally I would send a thank you email at least. Just a quick note to say that they missed you at the party and the boys loved the gifts.
I have family members that NEVER acknowledge gifts and although I know they are like this, it really bugs me so I know how you feel.
This is my sister. She has three children and so I send at least 6 gifts a year to her house and I have never, not once, received a thank you. It does bug me, but what can you do? I'm not going to stop buying them presents, you know?
This is what I was thinking.
I definitely think it's rude to not send a thank you note. I still remember a person I sent a wedding gift to that never sent a thank you. I couldn't live with myself if I were her. That's just how I was raised, though. Unfortunately not everyone has good manners.
Lurker chiming in. Yes, it is rude, but stewing about it is only going to make your day worse, so I'd let it go if you can.
Most of my SILs are excellent at writing a note or dashing off a quick email, but one has never acknowledged any of the gifts we've sent. I feel badly for her that noone bothered to clue her in that it's rude.
I think, at a minimum, a quick email just to say, gotta 'em, love 'em, thanks would be in order within two weeks.
A full on card or letter might take a bit longer-- need to go to the post office get international stamps blah blah blah. Yeah, I know, it's not THAT hard, but still, assuming they've got alot going, I'd say 4-6wks would be an appropriate timeline for an actual TY from the kids (assuming they're old enough to write/draw you a picture/whatever). Doesn't change the fact that your bro or sil should have still sent a quickie message.
Mind you, I'm annoyed b/c my 16-yr old niece, whose bday was Monday, hasn't acknowledged the gift we sent. I'm not dwelling on it, I don't hate the child or my bro and sil, but I do think, a 'hey, thanks' via FB would be doable by now. JMO.
yes i think it's VERY rude for the parents to not even let you know that they got them & liked the gifts - even via email or fb or anything! fingers crossed the pps are right that a handwritten note is coming though
this is exactly the reason why I have stopped sending gifts to the kids of my friends in the states, and something I complained about recently on here cause our friends here do the same thing - I don't need a written thank you (although it'd be nice) but at least TELL me your kids go the gifts!!! it's basic courtesy!