Al-Anon

CLW102409 · October 2011

I went to see an attorney and my therapist yesterday. Both giving me tremendous amount of advice and courage to finally get moving on separating. My therapist mentioned Al-Anon meetings. Has anyone been to one? If so, what should I expect? Any information you have will be appreciated.

TIA

achase123 · October 2011

I've been a few times. They say "take what you want, and leave the rest" which was good because there were some members there who'd been there for a long, long time and I really couldn't relate. Basically it taught me that you cannot and should not try to control another person. They also discuss learning to detach with love, from the addict. You eventually learn that through living with an addict you become as sick as them, by becoming codependent, enabling, etc. I thought it was very beneficial.

SueBear · October 2011

If you look on the Family Matters board, someone posed the exact same question. It is around 12 posts down.

I didn't attend an al-anon meeting, but did go to a meeting at a 12-step center for a family member. They say the serenity prayer and someone talks about their experience with their loved one (child, spouse, parent, sibling, etc.). You can join the discussion or not. I think the meeting I went to was structured (b/c it was part meeting / part therapy) so they had themes they wanted to include.

HeavenlyExcitedBride · October 2011

achase123:
I've been a few times. They say "take what you want, and leave the rest" which was good because there were some members there who'd been there for a long, long time and I really couldn't relate. Basically it taught me that you cannot and should not try to control another person. They also discuss learning to detach with love, from the addict. You eventually learn that through living with an addict you become as sick as them, by becoming codependent, enabling, etc. I thought it was very beneficial.

This seems very good information for all kinds of situations outside of drug/alcohol addicts as well.

JoJo+Leo · October 2011

Al-Anon helped a lot for me. My dad is an alcoholic and we tried over and over to get him sober and always failed and it hurt, A LOT, to think my dad was choosing booze over me. Al-Anon taught me that you can't change anyone, they have to want to change. Nothing I did caused him to be this way, and there was nothing I could to help him until HE was ready to be helped. It took a lot of weight off my shoulders. It also helped me walk away from XFI (who was not an alcoholic) because I kept thinking he would change; I could help him! Al-Anon showed me I CAN'T change him, and he didn't want to change.

Al-Anon

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