June 2008 Weddings
trickeytricky
member
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: FTS
Ugh- I had a migrane yesterday that hit out of nowhere and despite almost 12 hours of sleep, my head is still pounding and I have that "hungover" feeling. At least the nausea is gone.
Of course I have an absolutely full day- major hearing this morning, training this afternoon and then an afternoon jam packed with student meetings.
I just wanna crawl back into bed.
I got into the office today to a pile of stuff on my desk. Not like a few piles organized into "done" "needs to be done" "waiting for ___", just one big pile of things mixed up into everything. Which means I had to take a good half hour to try to figure out how the girl that works yesterday had done things. Basically restarting everything she did and seeing if it was done or not. Ugh!
I missed my zumba class yesterday and decided to make it up with a different aerobics class. I found out where cheerleaders go after high school. I should have known when I was the only fat person in there. I can't move this morning.
Molly is teething. This is the first time we've ever woken up with her crying. DH is going out of town tonight. FTS.
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Life of mrsjanks
Where do you do ZUMBA?
I'm looking for a place closer to home for my Saturday AM class. I hate driving out to freaking Goshen 3 times a week, but I love the instructor.
Huge vent ahead.
My DH is constantly doing fun things while I stay home and do the whole parenting thing. This summer he went up to the lake cabin with friends 3 or 4 weekends and now he's there again. He announces high school football games for fun on Friday nights (he gets paid a small fee, but he really does it for personal enjoyment and to hang out with his buddies in the pressbox and eat free Buffalo Wild Wings.) On Saturdays he has season college football tickets (and during away games he goes to a sportsbar with his tailgate group), so every Saturday he's gone. He went to the Lions game on Sunday. The weekend days he's not tied up, we end up being obligated to spend time with his parents and sister.
I love my DH very, very much and I never wanted to be the wife that insisted that he stays home and never has fun because he's a married dad. I want him to have all the fun he's having. He works hard and deserves it. But I guess I feel bitter because I never get to have fun. I have lost touch with the majority of my friends because I am obligated to stay home with Natalie. When my friends go out on Friday or Saturday, I am usually a no show because DH is already doing his own thing and I'm stuck at home doing the mom thing. He left again today to go party one last time at the lake before winter, and I'm bitter.
When I tell him how I feel he says, "if you ever want to do something just tell me and you can do it." But it just never seems to work out that way, and now that I'm pregnant again I really don't want to hang out in bars. And honestly I really want to do things with him, not alone or with friends. It's not his fault, and I'm not resentful towards him, I just feel he gets to have his cake and eat it too, and he has not made any sacrifices to his lifestyle since becoming a dad. It just doesn't seem fair.
I'm done whining for the day.
I go to the Y, both Blue Ash and Duck Creek. I'm not going tomorrow (family in town), but I have guest passes if you want to try another time.
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I could have typed this very thing, especially the bolded parts! Sam doesn't go out and do a ton of stuff...but he is really busy with school and he's also picked this year to get his hunting licsense, so that has taken him out of the house quite a bit.
He WANTS me to go out and do things and would have no problem if I did...but I just don't really have any hobbies. Or truthfully, I don't really have any friends to go do anything with...which is somewhat sad and pathetic.
And the no friends leads me into my FTS. I was not planning, or expecting, to have a baby shower for this baby. I really don't have much stuff that we NEED. But a friend (one of my few!) decided that I needed to have a shower because it wouldn't be fair for Marshall to have pictures of his baby shower in his baby book, but for Baby K to not get that.
So I invite about 13 people to the shower. Well it turns out that pretty much nobody is coming to my shower tomorrow. It looks like it's going to be me, the girl hosting it and 1 maybe 2 other people. For the most part I am ok with the few friends that I have, but this is making me feel like a major loser!
Star/Jo :
One of my good friends told me this one time and I think it sums up your situations perfectly "Moms are always 'on duty'. If they want 'time-off' they have to plan and ask for it. Dads, on the other hand, are always 'off duty' unless expressly asked otherwise". It was true for her, it's been true at times for me and sounds like it's true for you. I think it's a universal truth.
My DH will do whatever/whenever for Jane so or me it comes out in subtle ways. He TELLS me he's staying at work late, getting his hair cut, and coming home late. If I ever want to *not* be the one racing home to get Jane, I have to ASK him if he can do it. Also, he's training for a marathon. He TELLS me that he is doing is long run Saturday morning (hours long) and just assumes it's cool. If I planned to be unavailable for 4 hours Saturday morning I would have to ask him first if he can watch Jane. He also calls it 'babysitting" which.......no. She's your daughter. It's called parenting.
So, yea, while I don't struggle with DH going out all the time I think all women/Moms struggle with baby being our responsibility first above all else. It's gets tiring sometimes!!
Star - that sounds very frustrating
I always try to be as carefree as possible with my H's plans b/c I'm afraid of being that wife that you always hear about that never lets her spouse do anything (you sound a lot like me). On the other hand, some weeks when he's going out after work, working overtime, playing flag football, watching football with the guys, playing softball two times a week, etc. etc. I just want to be that wife and tell him to drop some things, dammit, and spend time with me 
There is a definite line and I can only imagine how much more this will be enhanced with kids. Sorry, I don't really have any advice but I hope you guys can get some good couple time soon.
I'll kidnap you and bring you to my house for a week if you need a break.
SO SO true here too.
Thanks everyone for your comments, it's really nice to know I'm not alone! Jo, FWIW you are such a nice person and I would totally be your IRL friend. I think friendship loss is something a lot of us moms go through and it isn't addressed nearly enough.
Naylon, THANK YOU for posting that. It's exactly what I'm getting at! I hate the fact that he can just bounce for the weekend without question whereas I'd have to plan that shiz like 6 weeks ahead of time. Thanks for putting my feelings into a concrete expression so I can explain myself better-- I think it's going to help.
Jaay, as soon as bambino numero dos makes an appearance, I'm planning to crash your house... Juslyn's coming with. I'll bring the peach wine.
Definitely this!
My major FTS though is that I injured my knee about a month ago in Jazzercise. I found out today that I have some bizarre syndrome, and it will take 4-6 weeks of meds and physical therapy, if that doesn't work, then surgery. AND then I went to fill the prescription after work and my insurance requires a prior authorization, and of course it was 4:30, and the doctor's office had just closed! So now I wait to start my treatment on Monday....all the while that I am in pain:(