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Name Change Frustrations (XP on MM)
I know we constantly talk about this issue, but I'm slightly freaking out about changing my name.
I was all set on being Emily Jane Smith Doe, with "Jane Smith" as two middle names. Then in the car today, DH asked if I was sure that I wanted two middle names, as it could be a pain, etc.I was doing some research, and apparently Washington is one of the states that doesn't let you change your middle name to your maiden name or add a second middle without a court order.
So now I'm toying with going to Emily Jane Doe. I really like my middle name, and it has special meaning to me, so I don't think I'm ready to get rid of it. But I'm a career woman, and losing my maiden name just feels wrong. It doesn't help that I had 2 coworkers today claim that I would regret changing my name, and that I would look not as career focused if I did. But I really want to have one unified family name.
My workplace won't let you use your maiden name if it's not your legal last name.
Arg. Why is this so freakin hard.
Re: Name Change Frustrations (XP on MM)
I went through the exact same thing you did.
FWIW, I hyphenated and it's a huge PITA. 2.5 years later I can tollerate it, but IMO it makes things harder. Most people don't understand the hyphen.
If I could go back in time and do it again I would have just kept my maiden.
I changed my middle name to Tracy - Middle name - Maiden Name - Last name
The middle two are my really long middle name now...
well, I am: Amanda Middle Maiden Lastname
ETA: the point being that you can add your maiden name to your middle name, it's not a problem!
Planning Bio
Married Bio
Tracey and Amanda, did you girls get married recently? and make the change in WA? I'm finding conflicting information online...
This is the only issue about getting married that has been upsetting/frustrating.
Got married 2 years ago and in WA - no one ever asked me or told me I couldn't do it.
Planning Bio
Married Bio
I tried to do the same thing after my first wedding. It was a nightmare for 5 years. Each state has their own rules and since I was moving around it never helped.
Motor Vehicles in AK tried to tell me you can only have first, middle, then it's all last names... so I was first, middle, FirstlastnameSecond last name since they weren't hyphenated.
I wish I could find the picture of my license.. for a brief time it was basically similar to CzakjowskySampling.
♥ bfp1 06/14/2011 ♥ edd 02/22/2012 ♥
♥ baby jennlin born on 02/15/2012 ♥
who says you can only wear your wedding dress once?
honeymoon bio ♥ married bio ♥ planning bio
jumped ship to the new and improved nest. back to TB for baby boards.
About bolded part: Really? When I went to the DOL, they said I could do whatever I want and one of those choices was making my maiden a middle name.
I also had a hard time letting go of my maiden name...but, I did it. It's been only like a month now since I've had my new name. It's different, but I am getting used to it. However, I don't have a career where they would judge me if I changed my name.
ETA: My computer totally didn't show any of the above responses when I wrote this. Sorry for repeating everything above. However, if it helps, I just changed my name a month ago. So there is recent data.
Jen, did you have a middle name before?
no, i never had one.*maybe* that makes a difference?
♥ bfp1 06/14/2011 ♥ edd 02/22/2012 ♥
♥ baby jennlin born on 02/15/2012 ♥
who says you can only wear your wedding dress once?
honeymoon bio ♥ married bio ♥ planning bio
jumped ship to the new and improved nest. back to TB for baby boards.
This site:
http://www.missnowmrs.com/Newlywed-Blog/index.php/name-change/maiden-to-middle-name-change.html
Says this:
More and more states are no longer recognizing a woman?s right to change her middle name based on marriage. What does this mean to newlyweds in the middle of name change? If you live in California, New Jersey, New York, New York City, Ohio(unless your Marriage Certificate shows your intended middle name), Pennsylvaniaor Washington you are unable to take your maiden name as your middle name as part of your married name change.
But not necessarily a credible source.
yeah... I don't know about that. I mean, sure, I got married 2 years ago, but I can't imagine it's really changed since then. I would just fill out the paperwork the way you want it - literally no one ever mentioned it when I did it!
Planning Bio
Married Bio
There are no time limits (in WA), so if you aren't sure exactly what you want to do, then wait.
This explains pretty clearly the name change processes for Wa (PDF): http://www.washingtonlawhelp.org/documents/1488013400EN.pdf?stateabbrev=/wa/
Best sound ever: baby's heartbeat! (Heard @ 10w1d)
I did the same - First Middile Maiden HisLast. Well, almost, I could do that at Social Security. WA license only allow for 27 characters and since his last name was an additional 8, I had to truncate somewhere so I changed Middle to MiddleInitial. I am glad I kept the Maiden, one because it's a part of me, and 2, because I've been lax about getting a lot of things converted like credit cards. But whenever someone looks at my license, because my maiden name is still in it, I haven't had issues.
Also, I got married in June 2010 but didn't get around to changing my name until May 2011, so the weird info you're finding online is just wrong. I went to the Social Security office in International District and it was super fast, and the DOL off 3rd in Downtown.
You don't have a time-limit; you can keep your name as it is for as long as you like and then change it when you're sure what you want to do.
I will say, though, from experience -- the court-order thing is really not a big deal, so don't stress about that.
The form's on the county website -- fill it out, print it out, write a cheque, bring it to the courthouse mid-week ~30min before close, and you can walk out of there 15min later with a brand new name. It's easy, it's fast, and there's no need to agonize over the process.
Now, making sure you're going with the right name, otoh...
I got married 1 year ago and changed from Jennifer middle maiden to Jennifer maiden DHname. It was no problem and I did not need a court order.
I went back and forth and read things like what you did, but I went to social security first and they said I could change it to anything (w/ marriage cert) one time. Then I went to DMV, etc. w/ no probs.
I know people who use maiden name at work but changed legally -- that's dumb your work won't let you do that. I use full name Jennifer maiden DHlast for work stuff so people will know it's me, but otherwise I just say DHlastname.
i've had 2 middle names my whole life. i kept them and took his last name. i hate my two middle names. i wish i would have replaced them with my maiden name.
so i'm biased but i say the fewer names the better.
I did it. I'm Emily Jane Doe (original middle, his last name).
I decided fewer names was better.
Although note to self, don't try to change anything at the dol on crutches. After waiting almost half an hour, they said I had to retake the in person drivers test with my "physical limitation" or come back when I was off crutches.
So now my name is changed with social security at least. Will do dol once I'm less gimpy.
WTF? Are you serious?!? I would have been like this
at them!
Are you effing kidding me!??
Family fall photo session with Ashley Hoyle Photography
Married 7/10/10
Wedding Planning Bio - Updated 6/13/2010
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I was so freakin upset. Seriously wtf. I started crying in the car too because I was all stressed out by the name change.
yay, i'm glad you did fewer names. i promise it's the best.
and the dol is a joke. i'm so sorry!
Best sound ever: baby's heartbeat! (Heard @ 10w1d)