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divorce, how to approach with family
not me. a family member.
she and i are not terribly close, but we are very close in age and sort of went through life stuff at the same time. we talk about once a year, at an annual family event. we hang out together if we are ever in each other's city (she lives a plane ride away).
i heard yesterday that her husband of 8 years came out. apparently he left almost a year ago (shows how close we are). they have property, but no children and are separated but not yet divorced
it was advised to me by another family member that i should call. i'm not comfortable calling b/c we don't (ever) talk on the phone. i don't know what i would say. even more so, i don't know if she would be comfortable with me calling and saying idk what still.
maybe a letter would be better received? an email (we have done this occasionally)? but maybe that's too impersonal?
WWTND?
Re: divorce, how to approach with family
I have had two major life alterating events in the last 18 months - my cancer and then the death of my father. These have changed my perspective on things dramatically. I would call, say you heard something (be vauge) and while you know you two don't normally talk often, you are thinking of her and wanted to offer her an ear to talk to.
Again, that is how I would approach it. My MIL would write a very well crafted letter. I would not do e-mail.
omg, girl, you scared me!! I'm so relieved that this isn't about you.
personally, I think that maybe an email or letter would be better. something along the lines of "I heard the sad news and I'm absolutely here for you if you want to talk." it's a little softer and gives her time to decide how to respond, rather than being possibly caught off guard by a phone call.
duplicate (stupid nest)
"What is a week-end?"
I'd do this too.
Planning Bio
thanks for the thoughts. and bh, thanks for being glad it wasn't me! lol!
i think i'll send her a handwritten card. i definitely want to be there for her if she wants to talk. i just worry that calling her will force her to talk even if she doesn't want to. it's a way personal situation and we don't have a way personal relationship. but we are family and i will always be there for her.
still kind of shocked about the DH, or EH.
never would have imagined.
my sister just announced her divorce about 2 week ago - so far only our parents and brother know -- she doesn't have the heart to tell our grandparents yet ( she is the first divorce in like 5 generations and she said she feels really shamed )
either way - just call and say " hey, haven't heard from you in awhile - how are you going ? "
like PP - you can be really vague - if she wants to tell you, she will.
I'm divorced. In my experience, it's one of those things people have no idea how to react to. I got a card from a friend. I thought it was weird. Until that moment I had no idea Halmark made divorce cards.
I think an e-mail or phone call or best. If you haven't communicated in a while, maybe an e-mail and if she responds, follow up with a phone call.
I think like any kind of grief, divorce has stages. It's going to depend where she is in the process. When my ex and I first split up, I was unabel to answer my phone. People would call and I'd let it go to voicemail. Later, I was grateful to have people listen to my tale of woes. I needed to vent and it was great when people were willing to listen. At this point, she might just need a sympathetic ear. Try and listen without judgment.