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Do you get along well with other military wives?
At first I didn't understand the stigma that military wives had, since of course I am one as well and I think I am pretty awesome lol. But recently I can not get away from them fast enough. I was part of a spouses group in GA and met a few other military wives.
One girl bought a beautiful golden retriever puppy (I love goldens) and knew they were up for orders soon. They get their pick and are moving to Camp Pendleton. She then decides to give away their puppy because she doesn't want to have to deal with moving with the dog and her daughter across the country!!! I wanted so bad to tell her how awful that was because we were also going to be making that same trip with my 95lb lab, cat, bird, turtle, and even our fish. All of our pets are family and we would never leave them behind.
Today she posts asking for dog clothes because she just got a new dog. I am just at a loss for words on that one. I know that non military families also move and leave their animals behind but I see this a lot happening around military bases. Another girl I know just had her second son and gave away her dog because he was too much to handle. She also had a husky that she gave away so this is the second dog to be given away. I really dislike a couple of people now. I really need some new friends.
Re: Do you get along well with other military wives?
Bad pet owners exit everywhere, not just in the military community. But yes, I think it's wrong to get rid of a dog knowing that moves will be in your future and then get rid of it because you're moving.
Besides that, I get along with other military wives who aren't selfish and entitled, which can sometimes be hard to find. I'll never understand how some spouses develop the sense of entitlement they have because their SO is in the military. But there are always normal wives to be found as well if you weed through the other ones.
I generally get along with most people just fine, but our last two assignments I've found that I have trouble finding people who I have something in common with. Until February we were stationed at the US Embassy in Cairo, Egypt as part of a 30-person military contingent, so it was a small community. Of those 30, 23 were Lieutenant Colonels and above and most were old enough to be my parents.
Here we have the opposite problem. Most of the people here just commissioned in the last 6 months so a lot of them aren't married. Even the ones who are are still very much in the college mindset. They just graduated last spring for the most part and they are still living in dorms here and partying every weekend. Well, we have a baby who goes to bed at 7:30 so our nights end early.
When I do have the chance to get together with some of the other spouses here we get along fine for the most part. There are definitely some people that I like more than others, but I'm still polite and sociable, I'm just careful to not share too much with them.
There are bad apples in every bunch. No matter where you move, live, work, play, or worship, you're not ever going to love everyone you come in contact with.
I actually got flamed off my base's yardsale website for asking people to refrain from rehoming their pets on the site. There are honestly more dogs listed on that site (dozens a day) than furniture, clothes, etc. People also post things like, "Quick! Need a babysitter in half hour!" and then they leave their (many) young children with a stranger, simply because they live on base and assume they're trustworthy.
I'm guessing the more mature people I'd try to befriend just aren't hanging around on the yardsale website. I'm okay with that though. I don't consider myself super extroverted, so I'm okay not having people to hang out with. I much prefer the people I meet at the dog park or puppy training classes.
I changed my name
I probably should have reworded my title to vent or something similiar. I know it really has nothing to do with being military spouses or not, but it is all I am surrounded with now since moving on base. I really don't have a problem getting along or being civil with most people since I am really shy and stick to myself. But these 2 people are just really bad pet owners and that makes me sad.
I actually just adopted a cat and we were going to adopt a cat from a different humane society. The adoption process was all good until I mentioned that my DH was serving overseas and they turned around and denied my adoption application because their experience is "once the spouse returns the pet returns to the shelter" I was so angry my husband is a vet tech in the Army, we would never do anything like that. DH actually called the shelter from overseas to lodge a complaint and we adopted a cat from a different shelter.
When you said off of the nest, I assumed you meant from the nest, and I was sad.
I'm a Truman liberal, just tonight I got flipped off by a Marine yelling something about my Obama sticker on my way home from my office, I like the enemy of the Dallas Cowboys (1/3 of Marines are from Texas, right?), and I prayed for H to get a deploying squadron. I'm like an alien generally, but I have a few friends.
67/200
I hate when people in general think they can just get rid of an animal they supposedly loved and made a commitment to care for. You don't just dump your kids on the street if they pee everywhere/cry all night/are hard to care for, do you? I love my cats and would never get rid of them if it was within my means to keep them, and if I wasn't able to because we were getting stationed overseas and they needed to be quarantined or something, I'm sure my sister would keep them for us.
As far as getting along with other spouses, we live 25 minutes north of Camp Pendleton so it's not often I get to interact with many spouses. I met one of my good friends on a message board for military spouses but our husbands don't really get along so we don't hang out often. And I've had a few wives I met totally wear their husbands rank/time in the Marine Corps and it just drove me crazy so I stopped hanging out with them. H has a good friend from work and his wife is really cool but we're still getting to know each other, but she seems like she'll be a nice friend to have.
I like your post and it is very true what you said about the sits. I really dislike how some people here on post adopt puppies (from the Humane Society) love them because they are just super cute and then a couple of months later when they get big or grow old they decide to "give it away" or sell it because they just don't want it anymore....really?? I LOVE my puppy. We have a half Golden Retriever half Yellow Lab.
The Dogs and Us
I am prior enlisted and my husband is now a sq cc (we met after I got out). I get lonely because generally I don't have a lot in common with other commander's wives. It's not that they are snobby or anything (the opposite; most are super friendly), but I guess I just have different interests and a different perspective, so we don't have a lot to talk about. I also work full-time and every time I go to an evening military function they ask me why I am not in the spouse club and why I don't do playdates. Well, because they have their meetings in the middle of the day when, you know, I'm working and son is in daycare.
I have found one really super good friend here. She works with me, is also prior enlisted, and is married to the deputy in dh's sq. She and I have so much in common it has been a relief to have her around. She's one of the best friends I have ever had. I'll be sad to leave her behind when we PCS next summer.
Are we at the same base? LOL Bc we have a yardsale site that constantly has people trying to re-home their pets. And the babysitter thing makes me shake my head. I just don't understand it for sure. I hardly ever go to the page these days, unless I am looking for something specific.
As far as getting along with other military wives, I have a hard time. I was prior enlisted and just recently got out in Apr. I don't know if I am being a snob or what but it seems a majority of spouses I meet IRL have no real concept of the military, from a member's POV. They get angry when their SO has to change shifts or works for longer than they were scheduled for or gets a short order tasking for a 180 or something like that. Not all wives are that way, don't get me wrong. But it seems the ones I encounter these days are. I just shake my head and move on. If you try to explain things to them their response is something along the lines of "you're also a dependent, you don't know what you're talking about." However, I was in for 8 years and worked shift work the ENTIRE time (and was a UDM for 2 years). I think I have some vague idea of what I'm talking about. I don't know everything, but I do know generalities.
Long story short, I get frustrated and become a hermit LOL I have a tight knit group of wives I hang out with and that is enough for me.
That. Just that.
I've known several military families who moved their pets cross-country, overseas or sent them to live temporarily with relatives. I know one family in person who gave up their dog recently. It was because after their daughter was born the dog wasn't getting enough attention (and will get worse when the mom goes back to work). They are civilians.
In general I have found that I get along with other military spouses well, but I choose my friends just like I would/do with people who are not affiliated with the military. I'm sure that sometimes it's possible to get in with a group or division that is generally difficult for some people to get along with. That feeling can be augmented when a group is really small. I've been lucky so far and have always been able to make a couple friends wherever I am.
As I've gotten older (dare I say mature?), my need for friends has decreased. It might have to do with being married and having a child (therefore, less time than when I was single) but I don't have (make) time for people I don't like.
The folks who re-home pets because they are moving or because they had a baby drive me insane--military or not. There are situations where re-homing an animal is in the better interest of those involved, but the "I don't want the headache" excuse makes my blood boil. My flameful opinion, also, is that single service members should not own pets unless they have a confirmed and realistic care plan in place for their animal(s) in the event of an extended TDY or deployment. If you know you may have to deploy, it is not fair to the animal to be given away or foisted upon a friend or family member. But, this is off-topic. . .
how do you guys meet other wives?! other than the my hubby's unit's wives, i haven't really had an easy time meeting other wives! i'm not stressing too much... i've definitely needed some me time, so it's a blessing. i do have one good friend out here, but sometimes i think it'd be nice to expand our circle
. in time, i'm sure!
anyways, in response to your post... i have a friend who "rescued" dog's during both of her pregnancies. i guess it was a nesting sort of thing. the first time around, the dog had issues (depressed, not super playful... but still a nice dog). she ended up bringing it back to the pound. but we found out later it was her 3rd time back to the pound, and they euthanized her
. broke my heart.
this second time around she adopted a pit bull puppy, who ended up being aggressive (duh... the risk you take with that breed. some are sweet, but with a toddler and a newborn, you can't possibly expect to have the time to train it properly!). anyways, she ended up frantically going around to find him a home. luckily, they were successful. havent heard anything about him since, but i can only hope for the best.
i really just don't get it. i absolutely LOVE my dog. as much trouble he gets himself into, i could NEVER ever part with him. i have no clue how people can just return or get rid of their animals... its not like theyre merchandise! they're living beings! my dog is my son. maybe thats a strange concept, but thats the only way i could ever view my relationship with him
.
Seriously, I can't imagine how people just give their pets away. I have a chihuahua, he is 9, been with me since I was in college... when we moved to China & he couldn't come with us for the year, he lived with my mom & dad. I would have stayed home before I gave him away!
But as others said there are crappy pet owners everywhere. I wouldn't say giving away pets is something I think of when I hear the word military spouse... hah. There are plenty of really nice, normal military wives that I get along with. Then there are others who I wouldn't touch with a ten foot poll.
I get along with some but none of the spouses of guys in DH's unit. A lot of them are really immature and I don't like dealing with them. They have parties weekly and sit around trashing people. The one wife I do like is married to a total dirt bag who "won't let her" go out with friends. The husband is in DH's section and DH can't stand the guy. I also think it's harder to meet other wives because we live off post and are rarely over there. I grew up in the area where we are stationed so I have a lot of friends from college here so I tend to hang out with them the most anyways.
That being said one of my best friends is a former AF spouse and she is great. DH likes hanging out with her hubby as well.