Starting Over
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
I am surprised I didn't know this before marriage
Before I was married, I always thought that if a couple was married a long time it meant they were happy together. I now realize that people stay together for various reasons. Some people even lie to themselves about there own happiness. Other people truly do not know what goes on behind closed doors. Now I feel naive.
Re: I am surprised I didn't know this before marriage
Sometimes one partner thinks they have a great life... while the other is dying inside or has a secret life. It is crazy!
But there ARE some truly happy couples out there and it is awesome to know couples like that. It gives me hope and reminds me not to settle.
So true, with my exBF who I was with for 5 yrs, all our friends thought we were the perfect couple. the truth was we fought all the time, he said horrible nasty things to me and i found out when i left that he had been cheating on me pretty much the entire 5 yrs.
My parents did not have a happy marriage, in fact after ten years of marriage they moved to separate bedrooms but they stayed together for a total of 25 years.
While I don't envy "couples" who are married I do envy older couples I see holding hands... *sigh*, so I try to think that they just met and there is still hope for me
I completely agree!
Had an incidient not occurred in my marriage to reveal true feelings, I would've continued on for years being unhappy and out of love and staying for DS.
My parents did not have a happy marriage, in fact after ten years of marriage they moved to separate bedrooms but they stayed together for a total of 25 years.
While I don't envy couples who are married I do envy older couples I see holding hands... *sigh*, so I try to think that they just met and there is still hope for me
When I announced I was getting a divorce, one of my older family members who has been married over 30 years said to me, "I wish I had the courage to end my marriage, but I don't." A number of other people, all who have been married over 10 years stated confiding in me that they were having problems in their marriages. All of these people seemed to have at least decent marriages.
I don't know if I was shocked, but it was definitely surprising to find out so many seemingly happy couples have marriage trouble. The one good thing is that I felt like a failure and weak because I couldn't make my marriage work, but I found out that a lot of women I know looked at me as strong for being able to make such a hard decision (especially since my marriage didn't have obvious problems like abuse, addiction, etc.), so that made me feel slightly better.
Were you young when you got married? I married when I was in my 30's, so that was obious to me.
DH's father and stepmother are like that. They have been married for over 40 years. When I met them (10 years ago), they were each waiting for the other to die. Both unhappy. I told dh before we married "I would rather be divorced than in a marriage like that." Strange thing to tell your new fiance, but he saw what I meant.
I apologize for sort of posting and running yesterday. Anyway, I wasn't young when I got married. I don't know why I was naive. I have a childhood friend. Eve as a young kid I knew her parents were not happy together. They got divorced after 40 years of marriage. It is good that they finally bothered to divorce. My parents, on the other hand, are the happy couple who still hold hands after over over 40 years married. I am lucky to have that but it may have contributed to me being naive.