International Nesties
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
SingleGirl and the Confusing Situation
SingleGirl and the Confusing Situation
In which SingleGirl thinks a cute guy is into her, but nothing happens
In which SingleGirl thinks a cute guy is into her, but nothing happens
Last spring I was teaching a workshop and I met a Brazilian guy that I strongly suspected had a crush on me. At the time, he had some crazy hair and a crazy beard, but I still thought he was kind of cute somehow (though I didn't put much more thought into it).
Fast forward to a month ago, when he heard I would be in town and invited me for beer night with a group of people (some I knew, some I didn't). I accepted, assuming I'd be bored my first nights in town anyway. If things turned out to be awkward, there would be other people there, so I figured it was worth the risk. When I arrived, it turns out that he had cut his crazy hair, and I now found him irresistibly cute. So much for my plan to focus on "me time" this trip. Ah, well... That wouldn't be any fun for the INs anyway, would it?
So, I went for beers and had a good time, chatting a lot both with him and with other people. We definitely flirted a little, but nothing happened. Later that week, a mutual friend suggested that he be my tour guide and show me around, since she was busy and had done the local sightseeing dozens of times.
We made plans to see the beachfront one evening, and we spent the better part of an hour walking along the beach and chatting. After that we were exploring an old seaside fort and taking photos, and every time he looked at me he had this sparkle in his eyes. "Yes," I thought. "This guy clearly has a thing for me." So I wasn't surprised when he suggested we stop and have a drink at a quiet outdoor cafe with a gorgeous view back to the beach. Ah, so romantic. But nothing happened.
Drinks were followed by dinner, and he suggested I try a traditional dish from his part of the country. It was good, but he was a little disappointed that they didn't make it quite the way they do where he's from. He explained that he has a reputation for being a fairly good cook, and that it's his favorite dish to make, but that means he can make it exactly the way he likes. We were having a good time talking, and it wasn't terribly late yet, so we opted to have a few more beers before calling it a night. At that point, we shared a taxi back to his building before I headed to my hotel. When we parted ways, he gave me a hug, and I gave him a friendly kiss on the cheek, but it wasn't really reciprocated, and that was it.
So the next day I was wondering if I had misread everything, since the evening had been so intimate and the situation so romantic. The weather was gorgeous, so at our friend's insistence we made a plan to go to one of the scenic viewpoints that evening. The day was kind of awkward, since I didn't really know how things stood. I already had reservations about getting involved with a colleague, but I was chatting with my officemate online, and his advice was that "Colleagues on other continents don't count." Hmm. Okay, maybe I'll just enjoy myself.
And so we left work together, and the car ride was kind of pleasantly awkward. Traffic was kind of bad, so we listened to jazz and chatted, and we didn't get to the top of the mountain until sunset. It was gorgeous. Absolutely gorgeous. The sun was just setting behind the hills, and the sky was all kinds of bright colors, and the city is beautiful any day. He had his camera and was taking lots of photos of the view. And then some photos of me enjoying the view. Terribly romantic. When we got to the very top, there were a lot of people around, and we started wandering off on some of the paths through the woods. It was dusk, so it was a little dark, and there was no one else around, so it was all quiet except for the birds in the trees. We stopped periodically to enjoy the views and take more photos, but mostly we just strolled through the trees. And I waited for him to make a move. And nothing happened. Not even an "accidental" brush of hands when we were walking on narrow steps. Nothing!
By this point it had gotten rather dark, so we headed back to the top of the hill. The city lights were on, and the night view was just as beautiful, so we shared an ice cream sitting on a bench together looking out over the city. We sat and talked for half an hour. And nothing happened.
Eventually we decided it was time to think about dinner. He wanted to take a shower and change out of his work clothes, but I didn't really want to go back to my hotel and then pay for a taxi across town to meet up. Since I had a novel in my purse, I agreed not to judge the messy state of his flat and enjoyed my book and a beer on the sofa while he showered and changed. For dinner, I suggested we try another of the regional cuisines, but he couldn't find any good options online. I told him I was up for anything, so it was completely in his hands. "Really?" "Yes, sure!" "Okay, then I'm going to cook for you. Do you mind having the same thing we had yesterday? I think I make it better, but you can decide." He's going to cook for me?! At his place?! Okay, then. We went down to the grocery and bought the ingredients, and then I sat and kept him company in the kitchen while he cooked. When it was ready, we ate, and it was indeed quite good! Color me impressed.
By the end of dinner, I was getting kind of sleepy, but we'd bought a bottle of wine at the grocery, and it wasn't finished. So I took my glass to the sofa and we talked and drank for a while longer. And nothing happened. And then the wine was gone, so I had a beer and we talked more. And nothing happened. What the heck?! He freakin' cooked for me, and he's still looking at me with this adorable dimpled smile and a sparkle in his eyes. But nothing. I am not that clueless. What is going on?! I was even leaving empty pauses in the conversation where we're just sitting and smiling at each other on the sofa. Everyone knows this is international sign language for "Kiss me, dammit!" But no, he would eventually come up with something else to say. Denied.
Eventually, it got to be 3 in the morning, and I was completely out of excuses to still be there. There was a long pause where I was mentally spinning my wheels, thinking, "Do I really have to take a taxi across town to my hotel at 3:00 in the morning?! I have to be at the bus stop in 3? hours. What do I do?!" And finally he says, "So... Am I completely misreading the situation here?" (sigh) "No, I don't think so."
And that was that.
We pretty much spent all of our free time together until I left. I had assumed that it would just be an amusing fling, but I realized that I was kind of dreading the fact that TC was supposed to be in town the week I got home. I didn't want to see him. I didn't want to see anyone. What the heck? That's not who I am right now. I'm all about enjoying the single life and exploring my options, and this guy is not only a colleague, but he lives on the other side of the world. And I can't create a nice laundry list of reasons we make a good pair; he just makes me enormously happy whenever he smiles, and I don't want to be with anyone else. Yes, I'm swoony and smitten. It's so embarrassing. But at least I'm not the only one.
I have no idea where this will lead, but in spite of the ridiculousness of the situation, I knew that I would regret it later if I didn't give it a chance and find out.
And so, SingleGirl hangs up her Single mantle for the time being. She has at least one more post up her sleeve, but beyond that it would probably degenerate into atrociously sappy babbling, from which she shall kindly spare you all.
Re: SingleGirl and the Confusing Situation
Yes, please! What a great story. So glad you both wound up on the same page. A little mystery is always welcome
I wasn't able to cast him, so I asked for help and was offered "a younger, more handsome Duff Goldman from Ace of Cakes."
http://bmorebedell.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/DanielBedellPhotography-8242.jpg
As a small dose of the nauseating sweetness, here are a few messages he sent me today:
"Just in case you get to see this before you leave for work. I miss you, and you definitely make me happy.
"
"I am home already."
"
"Lucky."
"Not as lucky as I would like, since I am still missing you by my side.
We're planning to see each other again in a week, and about a week ago, he created a web page that counts down the hours until we'll see each other.
...we're both so silly...
Link! Link!
Aww, sugary sweet!