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If you or SO don't speak language of country you live in...
Do you mind sharing how you cope day-to-day or some general coping strategies? We're about to move to France for DH's job. I speak French, he doesn't (I know, it's weird, but he doesn't need it for the job). We haven't even gotten there yet but I am already overwhelmed by all the phone calls/correspondence/etc. I've handled in French to arrange our upcoming house-hunting & school-hunting trip.
Surely he'll come up to speed and will eventually be able to do basic things like grocery shopping or chit-chatting with DD's teachers at school? Or not? I've been really pushing for a bilingual private school for DD mostly because I want DH to be able to speak to and interact with DD's teachers and the rest of the community of parents we meet. My French friends think I'm being a "snob" by wanting to go the private school route, but I can't imagine DH being very involved with DD's schooling if it's entirely in French. Give me a reality check here, please.
Re: If you or SO don't speak language of country you live in...
I lived in non-English speaking countries before I had DS. If we ended up moving to a non-English speaking country I would definitely go to a bilingual school for the reason you mentioned - even if I could sort of communicate with teachers in German or French or whatever DH wouldn't be able to, and that's not cool.
As for your friends calling you a snob, ask them how they'd feel if their kid attended a school where they couldn't communicate with the teachers.
A lot of people, especially teachers, will speak English.
The first time we lived in Luxembourg I was in the 3rd grade and my family only spoke English. My mum managed to get everything she needed. We did go to an English speaking school so that wasn't a problem. If she ran into any issues with anything else she had friends who could help and people from my Dad's company could also help.
I remember that she wanted to put her clothes dryer up in the back yard with cement. She didn't know what it was called so she mimed the whole thing out in the store, get the right thing too!
We lived here for 3 years that time around and she tool classes through a language school, paid for by the Dad's company, and by the end she spoke, and still speaks passable French.
I think the snob thing bothers me because I consider myself a total hippy (ie, embrace public education & all that jazz) and a real "when in Rome" kind of person and this school thing is making me a little self-conscious and fearful I'll end up living in a little ex-pat bubble.
Also, I have so much other stuff going on right now that I have a tendency to get anxious about things that will most likely turn out okay one way or another. Posting my anxieties on the bump/nest helps me face them...
Disclaimer-- we don't have kids. We did adopt a dog here though and she caught on to English in a flash
!
That said, we do whatever a reasonable tourist does... phrase books and we fake it 'til we make it.
Up North, most speak English and so will just switch. Here, in the poor, rural south, not as many Italians speak English. We do our best. I've tried Rosetta Stone (not my style), non-credit classes (never had time), podcasts (radiolingua-- best option for me, but it's basic) and I still suck. Locally, it's a challenge, but we try and, happily/luckily, the restaurant/admin/etc people try too. Sure it took us 4 gos to get our dog a pet passport at the local municipal authority, but we did! Heck it used to take me at least 2 tries to convince DC municipal authorities I was no longer a resident and I spoke the local language.
Long story longer-- I'm not sure about schools, but I think both H and D will be fine. The more French they speak the better, but one can cope reasonably without a foreign language (assuming English fluency... I'm not proud of this and/or discouraging learning! God no! But IME, English and some flexibility will get you what/where you need in France and most of Europe).
Are you the same poster who is moving to France for a year? Sorry if I have you confused.
As for LO, yes, I agree with you.
For your DH on the other hand, its like a PP poster said, its up to him. If I were only going for a year, I'd just learn the basics since he works for an english speaking company. Might be nice to grab a Rosetta Stone before he heads out so to your point he can grocery shop and what not. Google translate is the best thing ever, so he can learn by fire.
Oui, c'est moi. DH is going make an honest effort to learn, I know that, but my head hurts from all the administrative stuff I've already had to do.
The woman is the hero in these moves (IMO). I felt the same way, my DH has been a "road warrior" since the time he signed his contract. I feel your pain...we should get a badge of honor
Did I read that you are only staying for a year? Does your DD speak any French yet? If I was only staying a year (and DD wasn't already fluent in French) there's no way I would put my child in a 100% French program - not withstanding DH's speaking or not speaking the language. The transition to a new school will be tough enough, but her not being able to communicate from day one will make things even more difficult. Then a year later she's back in the US? Nope, I wouldn't do it. That said, if your plan is to stay a few years it would make sense to consider a 100% French school.
DH and I live in Switzerland, DH is a native French speaker, and I speak it at a B2/C1 level.
Our future children will be going to a 100% French school, as they will be native French speakers, since DH will be speak French with them.
Anyway, that being said I used to au pair in France, my French then was basic, I had great difficulties speaking with the teachers at the school "my" kids went to. It was a private school and most of the teachers did not speak English, the kids would translate for me if I didn't understand the teacher. This was not rural France, it was very close to the Swiss border and Geneva. It was not a bilingual school, so I think it's probably a necessity that your children go to a bilingual school while in France, it will be a lot less stressful for you and them.
Won't his job provide someone to help? Neither me nor my husband spoke of word of Russian on arriving and the office manager is basically our translator for the vet and landlord. Groceries require pointing and knowing numbers to pay (well, markets, grocery stores use barcodes).
I don't have kids, so take the following with a grain of salt..
As for the school, maybe just see how the teachers at the 100% French school are before deciding? Is that possible?
I had a friend who went to France in high school not knowing a word. After a year she ended up speaking French fluently. As a result of being behind in the language she ended up really liking math (numbers don't require as much knowledge of the language). She ended up going to Yale, partially due to her interesting background, being wonderful in math and knowing various languages. Bottom line - one year of "falling behind" in school will not ruin your kid; especially if she is relatively young.
We're not getting this kind of assistance. He's getting French classes paid for and the co. knows I speak French. If neither one of us spoke French or was willing to learn it, the post would have been offered to the next person on the list.
But, even with me as our official family interpreter, I do think it would be nice if there were some things DH felt comfortable enough doing on his own, like arranging play dates with other parents from school, etc.
As for schools, we have appointments set up to tour a bunch of private schools next month, but public school is assigned based on your address and we don't yet know where we're living. I am going to try to take a look at the public schools in the neighborhoods where we look at apartments, but I have no idea if this will be possible. Over the phone from here (NYC), I've gotten nowhere.
I do think DD will end up speaking French by virtue of being there and having at least some school in French, regardless of whether it's all-French public school or a bilingual private school.
My girls go to regular Danish daycare/preschool, but everyone there is happy to speak English to me. (I do try to speak Danish, but when there's something important, we usually switch so we know there's no misunderstanding. My Danish isn't THAT awesome yet.)
As to a year in a French school getting a kid behind? she's 3.5, if your siggy is right. I don't know how French or American preschools are, but in Denmark, I don't think it's even remotely possible to be 'behind' in preschool. They don't really teach anything yet, other than stuff like "don't bite your classmates."
I think your daughter will pick up French easily at school. It's pretty basic in Petite Section, so far it's been colours, days of the week, months, numbers, singing songs, painting, colouring etc...
M is about the same age as your daughter, he is in a semi-private Catholic school that does about 2 hours of English a week. I speak French, so obviously don't have a problem communicating with teachers. We decided to go the private route because the neighborhood school has a bad reputation.
Hopefully your daughter's teacher or teacher's assistant will have some level of English to make it easier on your H.
Interesting comment. My French friends swear up and down that French public education is awesome, etc etc etc. I know they've all had positive experiences, but I do wonder about there being certain public schools where the teachers just stink or are burnt out or the dynamic with the kids is off. Teachers are people, and so are kids, there MUST be differences between public schools in one arrondisement v. another, even if it's not the extreme I see in NYC (where not all public education is created equal and where everyone rushes to move to the neighborhoods with the "good" public schools).
It stresses me out to no end that I can't just pop in and visit these public schools unless I am officially zoned to enroll there (that's what the bureaucrats tell me on the phone, I will try anyway) and that I don't know anyone in the neighborhoods I am considering to chit-chat with about their experiences. The private schools, meanwhile, have been really great about offering to let me talk to other parents in their community before I make a decision and, obviously, to come and tour the schools as well.
I know the emphasis of preschool is mainly socialization. I'm not worried about whether DD will fall behind in learning her colors or numbers. But, I want her to be happy wherever she spends the great part of the day and I want to be able to meet the teachers and kids she'll be with before we enroll her somewhere.
I've heard both good and bad about the public system. I have a few teacher friends who tell me that a lot of the public teachers are older and just waiting to retire - not really into teaching anymore, of course that's not the case everywhere.
Some of the public schools in our town are great, it just happens that the not so great one is in our area. I think that where the school is located will make a huge difference for you in Paris.
You should try posting on one of the French mom forums about the schools you're looking at, maybe you'll get some good feedback, here are a few that I found in google:
http://www.babyfrance.com/bebeforum/
http://forum.magicmaman.com/
http://forums.famili.fr/famili/Enfant/liste_sujet-1.htm