Ethically speaking... Wwyd?

shanwalk2 · October 2011

Sil is 20 and fairly immature. Shes been dating her bf for 1 year. He is 19. They are coming to visit. I asked DH if I should prep one or two guest rooms for them...

we know they are having sex. DH feels torn about the sleeping arrangements. I could go either way. DH is 9 years older than her and very protective. He says if sil was our daughter there would be separate rooms... But she's not our daughter (clearly). DH wants to respect this "long term" relationship... But he's about to get hives from this decision. Ha!!

Wwyd?

Spanishbeauty · October 2011

Personally, I would let them sleep together. But I lived with DH after only 3-4 months of dating. Sooo... If he's that worried about it I would do what you think his mother would if SIL were staying there.

YellowUmbrella · October 2011

Spanishbeauty:
If he's that worried about it I would do what you think his mother would if SIL were staying there.

I think this is a good mindset. If his family typically doesn't allow room sharing, neither should you.

shanwalk2 · October 2011

His mom wouuld not allow it in her house. Good point.

Nessia · October 2011

I think it depends on what sort of relationship your DH wants to have with his sister. Does he want to be her buddy and the "cool" older brother or the "I'm your older brother so you have to show some respect" brother. He's the oldest son right? That carries some responsibilities if his family is still traditional. Like my aunts would never dream of drinking in front of their oldest brother. You just didn't do that and I never did either. They have chilled out a lot in the last 5-10 years to where it's not a big deal anymore but I can remember when my aunt would have to hide she was drinking a beer and she was of age.

farfalla2011 · October 2011

Nessia:
I think it depends on what sort of relationship your DH wants to have with his sister. Does he want to be her buddy and the "cool" older brother or the "I'm your older brother so you have to show some respect" brother.

I completely agree with this...although I'm sure that doesn't help in making the decision. It sounds like if he's even thinking/worrying about it, he probably falls within the more traditional side of things and I would probably set up separate rooms. And if they are really that into each other, not sleeping together a couple nights won't hurt them (although at 20 I'm sure she might think its the end of the world) ;-)

shanwalk2 · October 2011

Nessia:
I think it depends on what sort of relationship your DH wants to have with his sister. Does he want to be her buddy and the "cool" older brother or the "I'm your older brother so you have to show some respect" brother. He's the oldest son right? That carries some responsibilities if his family is still traditional. Like my aunts would never dream of drinking in front of their oldest brother. You just didn't do that and I never did either. They have chilled out a lot in the last 5-10 years to where it's not a big deal anymore but I can remember when my aunt would have to hide she was drinking a beer and she was of age.

yes, 1st son, and traditionally speaking... He takes that responsibility - especially with FIL not in the picture. That's the problem... He "wants" to be cool but feels like he needs to set those traditional boundaries (more so with the boyfriend than sister). We were together at that age and I totally understand the heartache of sleeping across the hall for 2 nights.

poor DH. Decisions, decisions...

Taytee · October 2011

2 rooms only adds to the fun naughty feeling you get from "sneaking out" to be with your beloved! In the same room there's not a lot of temptation and in fact, I think you're less likely to have sex because everyone knows you're in the same room and you don't want anyone to hear you. But sneaking? Sneaking is fun...

It's your home. Do whatever you know you won't regret!

shanwalk2 · October 2011

Fwiw, DH decided to go with separate rooms. Lucky for him... They actually volunteered for the two rooms before he announced the "rule" so it was much easier than he anticipated. Thanks for the opinions! Taytee- Sneaking was fun. I remember well. So does DH. :-)

Ethically speaking... Wwyd?

Re: Ethically speaking... Wwyd?

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