How does one develop thicker skin?

Casperdy · October 2011

Because mine is paper thin and I'm gonna need it to be thicker at 5 pm tonight when I have to address this issue in person with a student that is very close to my heart, who, as of her meeting this morning, hates me.

mrsjanks · October 2011

Listen to Britney's rendition of "My Perogative."

dehko · October 2011

It comes with time. Don't worry so much about her liking you at this point. I don't know whats going on but you said its for the better for this girl. So why do you care if she likes you or dislikes you for it?

TeacherTiff · October 2011

I'm the same way as you. It sucks.

Good luck Cassidy.

naylon511 · October 2011

So, I guess they didn't handle it for you? *Hugs*

Without knowing the story it's a little hard w/o knowing the issue but I'd say to be matter of fact and honest. You care about her and because you care you want her to get help (or insert whatever the issue is). Are you a mandated reporter as a coach? You can always say that too. That once you know about something that needs to be reported, you are obligated to do it.

She's a teenager she may "need" to hate you for a while but I'd just personally focus on the long term positive (hopefully) effect this will have on her life. Reiterate that you care about her and want the best for her and you are there for her.

Jennrs · October 2011

naylon511:

So, I guess they didn't handle it for you? *Hugs*

Without knowing the story it's a little hard w/o knowing the issue but I'd say to be matter of fact and honest. You care about her and because you care you want her to get help (or insert whatever the issue is). Are you a mandated reporter as a coach? You can always say that too. That once you know about something that needs to be reported, you are obligated to do it.

She's a teenager she may "need" to hate you for a while but I'd just personally focus on the long term positive (hopefully) effect this will have on her life. Reiterate that you care about her and want the best for her and you are there for her.

This. This. This. Well said.

amybyrd · October 2011

Teenagers need some one to hate when things go wrong for them. But teenagers also need adults who are adults and not just their friends. And I am not saying that to put down the fact that you care about her and she is close to you. But as an adult/coach/teacher you have responsibilities and a different role. Cassidy you have a lot on your plate and you need to take care of yourself, deal with the meeting and try to let it go and put the feelings away.

mrs.dilligaf · October 2011

I don't know what your situation is, but I remember one of my moms students. She had a choir go on a competition trip to an amusement park. One of her students got drunk- an 8th grade girl. She hated my mom, and blamed her for getting her in trouble. Mom had been really close with this girl before, but after that...

Years later, this girl came back and thanked her. She apologized for her behavior, and admitted that she had a drinking problem at the time (parents weren't around a lot, but liquor was).

It's hard to do the right thing sometimes. Thicker skin won't help right now. You have to do what is right, and hope that this girl gets the help she needs to grow from whatever the situation may be. Go in with your head high, don't apologize. She did something wrong (NOT YOU), and as the adult, you have to do what is best for the long run. It's going to hurt and suck and be crappy, but it has to be done, right? Thinking of you.

star678 · October 2011

I completely agree with what everyone else has said. I can relate, because I am really bothered by it when people are angry at me or decide they don't like me over an issue. It eats at me for days. However, when it comes down to doing the right thing, you just have to do it and realize that one day, it will make sense to her. I agree with reiterating that you have rules you have to follow just like she does, and also, you only want the best for her. Hopefully she'll see the light.

mucutiepie124 · October 2011

All the other girls gave great advice. I just wanted to give you a virtual hug and hope that the conversation tonight went as smoothly as possible.

Casperdy · October 2011

mrs.dilligaf:
I don't know what your situation is, but I remember one of my moms students. She had a choir go on a competition trip to an amusement park. One of her students got drunk- an 8th grade girl. She hated my mom, and blamed her for getting her in trouble. Mom had been really close with this girl before, but after that...
Years later, this girl came back and thanked her. She apologized for her behavior, and admitted that she had a drinking problem at the time (parents weren't around a lot, but liquor was).
It's hard to do the right thing sometimes. Thicker skin won't help right now. You have to do what is right, and hope that this girl gets the help she needs to grow from whatever the situation may be. Go in with your head high, don't apologize. She did something wrong (NOT YOU), and as the adult, you have to do what is best for the long run. It's going to hurt and suck and be crappy, but it has to be done, right? Thinking of you.

Thanks everyone-seriously.

I need to develop it in general, but Dill, you're right, in some situations, it isn't about that.

The situation isn't over yet-we will see where we go from here.

How does one develop thicker skin?

Re: How does one develop thicker skin?

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