Starting Over
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To the divorced ladies: how did you tell your ex ..

that you wanted a divorce?  As some of you may know, I posted last wk about my problems.. I found out last yr that DS came onto my best friend in my house right after we were married (about 6 yrs ago), but even before knowing this...I have been completely "invisible" & unhappy since my DS was born.  We had 1 counseling session 2 wks ago where the therapist advised us to go on a "date night", which we have not done...neither of us even brought it up.  So Saturday is our next therapy appt.. the therapist is going to say "so, how was your date?" and clearly I'm over this marriage..I don't want any part of it anymore...but saying it is the HARDEST part .. I don't know why I can't seem to utter the words... "I want a divorce."  I have plenty of reason and am 100% sure. So, I am thinking of telling him during therapy on Saturday.  Please ... I need any advice or encouragment I can get!!!  Thx!

Re: To the divorced ladies: how did you tell your ex ..

  • We had already been physically separated for 3 months, but after our DS' first birthday party (Jan 1st.) I told him I was done living in limbo and I wanted to file for divorce. I could practically hear the sigh of relief from him as he simply said "ok".

    In your case, I can assure you the anticipation of doing it is far worse than actually saying those words. I think doing it in therapy is a good idea, as you'll have a neutral 3rd party there who might be able to control the conversation so your H understands why you're done. Or, you might find he's been waiting for you to do it all along.

    ETA: You may want to call your therapist and give her a heads up that you're planning on dropping the bomb on your H during your session.

    image
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • Thanks ladies... I guess I just missed that thread yesterday... thx foro posting - it was very helpful!
  • X left me, so I didn't have to tell him anything.
    image
    They see us rollin'...they be hatin'.
  • imageRiver Pestie:
    X left me, so I didn't have to tell him anything.

    For real? I didn't know that. What an ass. He doesn't know what he is missing!!!

    2011 Races
    3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
    5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
    5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
    5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
    7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
    10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
  • I had divorce papers served to his sorry azz!
    Photobucket
  • Dmarie, YGM.
    image
    They see us rollin'...they be hatin'.
  • imageRiver Pestie:
    Dmarie, YGM.

    Responded!

    2011 Races
    3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
    5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
    5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
    5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
    7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
    10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
  • We had both been miserable for quite awhile and just kind of ignored it. I started confiding in a girl friend about it and worked up the courage to have the conversation and I didn't end up even having to do it because he brought it up first the day before I was going to. We were on the same page. 
    image BNOTB Awards
  • We had been on the fence for a year - when he didn't move back after the trial seperation we both knew it was done. It didn't have to be said. I'm sense had my friends not kept me occupied and busy I would have fallen back into his trap and gotten back with him - he tried so so hard to get us to spend time together and I just didn't have time. He asked me a number of times to go spend the night with him. It was hard but it was for the best. I had given the marriage/relationship too many "second tries" - we just weren't good as a husband or wife for the other.

    Daisypath Vacation tickers
  • Well 1 month after my miscarriage my ex told me in the midst of a fight that it wasn't his fault he could get my pregnant it was my fault I couldn't keep it. I knew then I didn't want this man as my husband or father to my kids so I told him we're through.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
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