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Sex is painful and I have ZERO drive :( long...
Hi everyone! So I figured I would give this a try since my doctor isnt doing it for me at the moment. here is the quick background...I just got married, met my husband 5 years ago. For the first 3 years sex was amazing, I had an amazing sex drive, I never really produced much lubrication on my own, but nothing was painful. Now...2 years ago, all of my problems started. I have no sex drive what so ever...as in I feel like I would be perfectly happy never having sex again, When we do have sex it feels like im rubbing my arm...there just isnt anything there...if we do it for more than 5 minutes it starts burning. I have had the following done:
Checkup- all good, no STD's etc
Went to a nerve specialist and everything is good down there
Started taking anxiety medicine so I could relax
Nothing seems to help and I feel like the crappiest new wife ever. On our wedding night I had to force myself through it and we never made it to the end due to pain and tears. My doctor has said in the past that i clench up and I need to relax but ive tried and it doesnt seem to get better. My Husband is average size 7 inches but i feel like its jamming in too far every time, even if its only halfway in. Sorry if its TMI, I hope im not the only one and there is some advice out there for me 
Thanks!!
Re: Sex is painful and I have ZERO drive :( long...
Sorry you're going through this - I've had the extended no-sex-drive issues in the past as well, and it's very frustrating. Are you on birth control?
I was on the pill for five years, and towards the end of that time my sex drive plummeted. I've been off it for a year and a half, and everything has been much much better. Could this be it?
Umm.. what kind of anxiety meds did they put you on? A lot of antiDs and anxiety meds can decrease sex drive. It happened in my BF. Fortunately he still has a good one even with the meds, but it did decrease it.
I am with you on the lowered sex drive. I'm not sure what my problem is but it is affecting our relationship. I have thought that maybe it's because I am depressed or just lazy or maybe my BCP.
I would suggest trying a new doctor. My doctor is great for everything but when I mentioned my low sex drive she just said that I am young and healthy there is no reason for it and I needed more foreplay. Seriously? That's it? I know I SHOULD have a sex drive and you're the doctor so lets talk about it.
It could be that the anxiety meds are sapping your libido. See your doc and get him or her to change the meds.:)
You need to see a gyn for a full checkup. Maybe you're not lubricating enough; maybe you have another problem that's making sex painful.
Use lots of lube and go slowly --- see if that works.
I'll second what a PP asked - Are you on any type of hormonal BC? I was won BC for about 6 years, and throughout that time my sex drive cam and went, and not necessarily in any type of pattern according to the BC type ( I switched pill types a couple times). Finally, about 5 months ago I just said screw it and got off the pill. I can't even describe how immensely better our sex life is now! Not only do I actually want to have sex all the time, but foreplay only needs to last about 5 minutes and I'm good to go - it is awesome. I didn't have exactly the same low sex drive like you describe when I was on BC before, but it was definitely "meh" and I just assumed that was normal.
I I guess my point is that some women just don't respond well to hormonal BC. I'm not saying it's "bad" or "unhealthy" to be on, but some women's bodies are just better on their natural, regular cycles without any type of interference. Maybe you're one of them.
I will add that I understand the scariness of going off the pill if you are currently on it and have no plans/desire to get pregnant. My husband and I plan to TTC probably in the next year or so, so our attitude was kind of like well, we'll just be careful with condoms/pulling out, but if I get pregnant then it's still fine and wonderful (and before I get flamed, yes we are completely aware the pull out method is really not a very good one, but like I said, we are doing it knowing we are tempting fate and are okay with that). It really comes down to a personal decision between the two of. It might be worth it to go off the pill (if you're on it) for 3-5 months to see how your body re-regulates itself and it's natural hormone production. During that period, be diligent about using condoms, and if you're still worried, try to chart your cycles and don't have sex during your most fertile times (not fail proof, I know, but it can help cut your chances of pregnancy).
Good luck!
My husband and I were in the same situation. Sex was good in the beginning, but then my body changed and sex became very painful. My guess is BC pills do play a portion in my problem, but not 100%. Going off bc pills was not an option for me. There are now newly found conditions that cause painful intercourse with several treatment options. If you search vulvar pain and painful intercourse, you can find more and more specialist researching the condition.
I ended up seeing a specialist about 6 months ago. I was entered into physical therapy and it has helped tremendously. Before I could barely tolerate sex more that once a month. Now I can have sex multiple times a week. I still have to watch and listen to my body, but I can now enjoy sex.
I would recommend finding a specialist in your area for painful intercourse.