Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Can we discuss the name thing?
If someone has it as their SN, then of course it's what we're going to call the person on the board. But I just don't think the fact that many of us know each other IRL now means it's open season on revealing each other's personal info on the board, including first names if that person doesn't use it in their SN or siggy.
I really hate when people use my real name on the board. There's a reason I don't have photos of myself in my siggy and use ELF to refer to myself instead. A few people have done it from time to time and I generally let it go because there's not much I can do about it at that point anyway. I probably did it myself a few times early on before starting to realize the privacy issues.
Of course I'm not worried about the people who post here regularly knowing my real name. If I was, I wouldn't have joined the FB group or gone to GTGs. But that doesn't mean I want the million random strangers who have access to the boards to also know my name and be able to associate it with stuff I post on the board. We have no idea who is lurking here (as several people have discovered the hard way having their personal info revealed to others IRL by "lurkers").
So, for the record, please don't use my real name here, regardless of how the majority voted in the poll below.
Always missing my Mommy (1954-2010) and Daddy (1943-2012)
TTC since 2009 ; BFP 9/13/10 = MC 10/21/10
DX = DOR/POA (AMH=1.1; AFC=4-5)
Surprise BFP 8/31/11 while waiting to cycle for IVF
Welcomed our little miracle 5/7/12
Re: Can we discuss the name thing?
All of this. Thank you for putting my thoughts and the reason I brought it up in the first place into words.
For obvious reasons, the people whose names are in the sn it's inevitable.
I don't have any personal information on here for a reason. I don't have my name, links to anything personal or any pictures in my signature. I have no problem with the ladies that I do know in real life knowing my name or any additional personal information I CHOOSE to share with them. I do have a problem with this being an open forum and anybody being able to see what is posted on here.
ELF I agree with you when it comes to peoples preferences of what they let out. You are very private on here, like you said when it comes to pictures, SN, etc. And the poll IS NOT for airing everyone's name on the board now, it is to keep it as it has been. So you would still be ELF and I would be Navy or Karen since my name is frequently used.
So not really making a change but making a rule. Since people have complained about using names, but only when it suits them to, other times they use the names and have no issue. Since Names are a TOS issue but our board uses them we need to come up with how we move forward: no names ever or keep it how it is.
That said when it comes to privacy on these board I have to laugh some times. I am pretty open, others, like you are not, which is not what I am commenting about. I am though on the ones who want to be "private" but have 800 pictures in siggy of them, Dh, kids, dogs, etc. Being this is a local board people form our area read it, you can't be private with pictures. So IMO people are either like you or like me. There really is no in between because of lurkers. The only way for privacy is a password locked message board. You don't need much info to figure more relieving information out.
I am a member of a board like that that sprung off TN for reasons similar, so we could be more personal and not worry about lurkers. I truly believe that is the only way to be private.
YOU KNOW MY FIRST NAME?!how'd that get out there?!
see my note to mrse below - same issue.
LMAO
Mel -- maybe we can come up with a code name for you? LOL
I think I mostly worry about some random former co-worker landing on the board and figuring out who I am. I share a lot of stuff with y'all that I don't necessarily want others to know about me. I need plausible deniability!
Plus some of those biatches on the national boards are completely and utterly cray-cray. I've actually seen them stalk other people on the internet before if they decide they don't like you, and start posting links to other info about them -- it's not pretty.
Always missing my Mommy (1954-2010) and Daddy (1943-2012)
TTC since 2009 ; BFP 9/13/10 = MC 10/21/10
DX = DOR/POA (AMH=1.1; AFC=4-5)
Surprise BFP 8/31/11 while waiting to cycle for IVF
Welcomed our little miracle 5/7/12
I agree completely with ELF. Now, I know my first name is in my screenname, and I have a very common first name, so people using my first name on this board doesn't bother me particulalry as long as my last name is NEVER used. I have in the past considered changing my screenname to something that doesn't include my first name but like I said, it's such a common name I'm not too concerend.
But to the privacy matter....I also for the same reasons as ELF described have always been very private on this board. I don't have siggy pics, and I don't use my daughter's name. I don't want lurkers that I may know IRL to be able to identify me.
I have to say I'm surprised with the poll results though. I voted "No" and I really thought a majority of us here would vote "no" also. Because, even though SOME of us are comfortable with first names, we all aren't, so they just shouldn't be used at all, regardless of the poll results. I don't think we should make people feel uncomfortable for no reason. It's really not such a big deal to have 1 easy rule here....screen names ONLY. Period, end of discussion.
It's all the lurkers who voted yes
I agree it comes down to preference. My SN obviously doesn't hide my name nor do I hide some general info about myself since I have a blog with pictures linked up in my siggy. However I would never reveal certain information such as where I live or my employer, etc...I'm still secret like that. I can certainly respect your desire to not use your name or have anyone else use your name - that's your right.
No one is saying that just because we know each other IRL that it gives an open ticket to reveal personal information about each other. The poll was simply to see if we should leave things as is or change it to no first name use at all. I'll be honest though I get confused sometimes as to who allows themselves to be called by their first names on here & who doesn't....so I default to SN's unless I know the person doesn't care but I have found myself using people's names from time to time (it's habit from FB) and have gone back a few times to edit my posts to remove it.
oh and don't forget we set up the super secret FB page to share anything we definitely didn't want any lurkers seeing so we know that's a safe haven to share things we want to get off of our chests.
| My Bio | My Blog |
In the past, I've been called way worse stuff than my name. Just sayin'. LOL
But I get it, I'm sure I've slipped up here and there but I always try to use screen names only here on the board. Same for everyone's kids' names, unless I've just seen the name posted in the thread. Everyone has their own comfort level w/r/t privacy and it's all good.