Sex & Romance
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
can't orgasm without touching myself... why??
I have been with my partner for 3 years and the sex has always been good... However, I can't get off without touching myself. I have tried to just keep going without touching myself to see if I get there but it just doesn't happen. My partner has almost got me there once but the second I moved at all it was gone. I just want to be able to give my partner the satisfaction of giving me an orgasm. Anyone else have this problem? What do I do?? Help!
Re: can't orgasm without touching myself... why??
i have the same issue! it's not all that uncommon, though. it's something like 10% of women can climax without external stimulation... so don't feel bad!
my husband has only gotten me off a handful of times (by himself). it's definitely a rare treat. i usually just do it myself when we're doing the deed. i know how frustrating it can get, though! believe me!
i think it's a matter of communication. i still personally haven't found the right words to say, but i know it's something that needs to be discussed. i don't expect him to always do all the work, but it'd be nice every so often to be, eh, pampered, haha
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i wish there was something else i could say to you! if you find a secret trick, please share! one fun thing, though, was that vibrating ring thing that trojan sells! didn't quite get me there, but it got me close! maybe it'll work better for you?
good luck
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It's not a problem, it's the way you're wired. It's normal. Masters & Johnson and Kinsey both wrote about this being typical orgasmic pattern for women.
What do you do? Keep up the stimulation and finish.
I suggest you start over from scratch.:)
By yourself, rediscover masturbation --- take your time and don't put yourself under pressure. Don't race against the clock.:)
You'll need to rediscover yourself -- this way, you'll find out what other touches turn you on. Right now you're in a weird kind of sexual rut and you need to get out of it.
BFP 2/10/2012!
Due Date: 10/15/2012!
Baby Boy Born 10/11/12! (Not on purpose)
I have the same problem. Don't worry too much, the great majority of women have that issue. My husband has come to just accept it---it's not his fault, it's not neccessarily mine either---and that's just the way it is. He knows that without his efforts sex wouldn't be even close to as pleasurable as it is (as opposed to just using a vibrator).
I use a little vibrator. It's about 2"x1" or so, and it has a cord that runs to a controller that lets you increase or decrease the speed/power on it. It's extremely useful, and if you're in the basic position with him on top, I figured out I don't always need to hold it there (it stays in place well enough by itself). I recommend you trying something like that. Maybe then you can relax better and have more fun too!