Random question since I think ahead.....

**TakeTwo** · October 2011

I know this question is premature since BF and I have only been dating a few months, but I was thinking about this and want comments/opinions since I've never dated anyone with children before. BF has a DD. I have no children. If BF and I get married, we will have a fairly large household income. I'd like to have at least one child. How do you treat children with different parents, ie financially - like public school vs private school and other things (college fund, etc). I'm a big fan of equal treatment, but since DD has a mom already and may not be able to afford the same things that we may be able to afford, what/who dictates what choices are made? Hopefully that babble makes sense to you guys. I'm interested in peoples' opinions.

julie324 · October 2011

It is way too early to think about this. Ideally you and he agree on things for your children and he and ex agree on things for their children.

Butterfly4210 · October 2011

I think a large part of it also has to do with who has primary custody of his DD. Just from observation from others in similar positions, they treat the children in the primary home as any other child (if there is a half or step sibling in the house) - same schooling, purchasing things at home, but when it comes times for the one child to go spend time with their other parent, they go and whatever is done there is done there. (If that makes any sense?)

PrettyInPearls23 · October 2011

Like someone else mentioned, it sounds way too soon to be thinking about something like this. But, since you asked, here's my two cents.

It would depend on what kind of custody your BF and the mother of his child have. I'm assuming they have joint legal custody. If this is the case, the two parents have to agree on where to send the child to school. If she can't afford private school and you guys want to send her there, offer to pay for the costs. If the BM is able to help contribute to the costs of private school, then she should. Whatever is decided should be written in to a court order to prevent further complications. If he's paying CS and would agree to pay for the costs of schooling, his CS could be adjusted to reflect this.

Other financial means, which you didn't really specify other than a college fund, are hard to explain. Basically, you should do as you said and treat both children the same. If they both have college funds, they both should have equal or similiar amounts in them. It doesn't matter if one child has another parent or not. You live your life as a family -- regardless of other parents outside of your family unit.

Having a blended family can get quite complicated, especially when the other half of the parenting equation has different views/parenting styles/financial means, etc. You just have to cross those bridges when you get to them.

Random question since I think ahead.....

Re: Random question since I think ahead.....

Choose Another Board

Search Boards