Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
WWYD: butting in
I'm going to try to make this as short as possible. I have a customer at work (D) who comes in all the time. I consider him a friend at this point. He is going through a divorce. He recently met a girl (K) who he seems to really, really like and he is SO excited about it. From what he tells me, she seems really interested too.
Today he shows me a pic she sent him and she looks so familiar. He shows me another pic of her with her best friend. Turns out her best friend (S) is an old friend of mine and we are friends on fb. I suddenly realize why I recognize her, she was/is dating another friend of mine from college (T). I didn't say anything because I knew it was the same girl, but I wasn't sure if she was still dating T because I hadn't seen anything on fb in a while. When I get home from work I check T's fb to see if they are still dating and they are or at least they were a week ago.
My question- do I butt in and tell D that K has a boyfriend? I would hate for him to not know and get serious only to find out later.
My other issue is completely random. Years ago T was dating a girl he ended up marrying. My ex boyfriend's best friend happened to be sleeping with that girl while T was dating her (and possibly once he married her). I never said anything to T because I didn't know the girl and it was completely random that I found out what was going on. We were friends but not super close and I knew it would probably cause problems between ex bf and his friend which would get me in trouble so I did nothing. Obviously, he ended up divorcing her and I have always wondered if I should have told him. I don't want to regret not telling D. The thought of telling T has also crossed my mind, but I don't know for sure that D isn't making more out of this than is really there and I only see T on fb so that would really be going out of my way to deliver the news.
If you followed all that thank you! Any help would be appreciated!
Re: WWYD: butting in
Many years ago DH's best friend started dating this girl from Match.com. She was terrible and she came across as very slutty. I was talking to my friend at work and she mentioned that her good guy friend was dating this slutty girl from Match that she could not stand. We compared notes. SAME GIRL. Dating our guy friends at the same time. I desperately wanted to out her, but DH said to mind my own business and let him figure it out on his own that she was not the right girl. I respected DH's wishes and stayed out of it. He dated her for another month before cutting her loose.
If it were MY friend, I would say something. And only because if it were me, I would want to know. If I had been through a divorce and was putting myself out there, I would not want to be played the fool. I agree with PP, next time you see him, casually mention that you thought she looked familiar and she looks like the girl dating your friend. Good luck!
Thanks guys! I have a feeling it will come up if only because he was so excited. I remembered this morning that she came in with the guy she was dating in May (for a benefit that we had) so I may use that to say well she was dating a friend of mine too and feel it out. I appreciate the suggestions!
I really feel worse for the guy who has been dating her as this is at least the second girl he has had this happen with.